No two days are ever alike for Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff. For the past fourteen years, he has been director of Aish Tamid of Los Angeles (aishtamid.org), which helps at-risk teens and young adults find stability and a healthy life path. In addition to having rabbinic ordination, Rabbi Hershoff is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), has a master’s in social work, and a certificate in alcohol and substance abuse studies and counseling.
Rabbi Hershoff spends innumerable hours meeting with young adults in crisis, or with parents whose teen or young adult children are in crisis. “We’re here and available for young adults who may be isolating, and for parents or community members who need support.” Often, this means finding financial resources to help struggling individuals pay the rent or pay for dental care. He continually tries to help young adults find meaningful employment. Last week, he also matched a young man with severe anxiety related to trauma to an appropriate outpatient program.
Aish Tamid serves dinner every night, provided or sponsored by volunteers in the community. The young men also hang out after dinner, playing games, working out in the gym, jamming in the music studio, talking, and creating relationships with adult mentors. Aish Tamid also runs a girls’ center that provides similar programs and support. “Girls also have issues of disconnection, anxiety, substance abuse, as well as eating disorders,” Rabbi Hershoff said.
Rabbi Hershoff advises parents of the warning signs that their kids are at risk. “These include extreme apathy, and depression and anxiety. Many teens isolate or self-medicate through vaping, smoking pot, and living on their iphones. Too many young people don’t feel connected to themselves or to other people. They learn how to engage with the world from their friends or social media, with all the at-risk behaviors and ideas that are being shared there. Try to find ways to engage with your teens, and if you cannot, look for another adult or counselor that you trust to engage with them.
“The hardest part of my job is waiting for the teens and young adults to realize that we are on their side.We don’t have an agenda. We accept everyone where they are and want to be part of their support system.”
“The hardest part of my job is waiting for the teens and young adults to realize that we are on their side,” he observed. “We don’t have an agenda. We accept everyone where they are and want to be part of their support system, helping them to become productive.” It’s tricky to find the balance between empowering young people to make it on their own, versus enabling their self-defeating behaviors and managing their mental health issues.
Fortunately, there are success stories. A teen named “Ilan” had shut down after experiencing loss in his family. For several years, he came to Aish Tamid every night for dinner and to play drums. Still, his life unraveled: he was living in his car, using drugs, and going on the road with a rock group.
“We had built a solid relationship and support system for when he was ready,” Rabbi Hershoff said. Ilan ended up going to Israel for a few weeks, unsure about coming home. Rabbi Hershoff proposed that if Ilan stayed longer and was productive, he would pay for his ticket to come home later on. Then COVID struck, and Ilan was stuck. Living with family in the Negev, Ilan detoxed himself, watched hundreds of Torah classes on YouTube, meditated, and tried to figure himself out.
“I spoke to him regularly as he transitioned through these stages and back into life. Someone saw him playing the drums and offered him a job as a dorm counselor at a yeshiva, and the rest is history. He is studying, working on a profession, and loves living in Israel.”
Rabbi Hershoff is grateful for the support of the board of directors of Aish Tamid, the Los Angeles Jewish community, the Jewish Federation and specifically, the Caring for Jews in Need program. “The community and the Federation programs are truly our partners in our work. We are all in this together.”
Fast Takes with Gavriel Hershoff
Jewish Journal: What’s your favorite Jewish food?
Gavriel Hershoff: Nothing like a good Israeli falafel with chips and Amba sauce. Or, good roast beef sandwich on rye with a half-sour pickle.
JJ: What is your favorite novel?
GH: “Kane and Abel,” by Jeffrey Archer. It’s about hardships faced by people in war-torn areas, and also has romance, thrills, and action. I couldn’t put it down.
JJ: If you could have lunch with any historical figure, who would it be?
GH: Moshe Rabeinu. I love his advocacy for the Jewish people. It was never about him; only about the Jewish people.
JJ: How do you relax?
GH: Driving on Pacific Coast Highway listening to loud classic rock puts me in vacation mode.
If you need help with your teen or young adult child, please call Rabbi Hershoff at 323-634-0505 or email info@aishtamid.org.
