Chana Boteach Wants to Make Sexuality Holy

When Chana Boteach was nine years old, her father, Orthodox Jewish Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, released a book called “Kosher Sex.” It was about the Jewish approach to sex, intimacy and relationships, and it became an instant bestseller. 

“I’d grown up with the message and saw the effects of the book,” said Chana, who is now 32. “As much as it was controversial, I’d met so many people who told me ‘Kosher Sex’ changed their life or marriage.”

As Chana got older, she noticed how sex and intimacy were being distorted. Women were coming out with traumatic #MeToo stories, the divorce rate was skyrocketing and hookup culture became trendy.  

“We have sex in our face all the time, yet we’re still so uneducated and confused about sex and the role it plays in our lives,” she said. “Judaism has so many answers and so much healing and guidance to offer about sex.”

So, the rabbi’s daughter decided to do something about it. She started a company called Kosher Sex, which would continue to teach people about the Jewish ideals regarding sex, just like the book. Then, she took it a step further and opened a Kosher Sex shop right in the heart of Jerusalem, at 7 Bezalel St. The site and shop sell sex products, offer courses like “Do You Need a Man?” and “Sex After Kids” and provide information for couples in need.

“Sex shops are actually desperately needed and essential for couples to enhance and sustain an exciting sex life,” said Chana, who is Orthodox. “The problem is, most sex shops are scary and mortifying for people. They’re dimly-lit, seedy and pornographic, [which is] the opposite in my opinion of what’s needed in a sex shop.”

Kosher Sex, which has an Instagram page, is more like an upscale boutique than a typical sex shop. 

“I designed the shop to be minimalist and elegant, so that entering the shop isn’t intimidating or overwhelming,” she said. “People actually don’t even know that they’re walking into a sex shop at first glance. I curate all the products to be tasteful, not phallic or obscene, easy to use, and top quality.”

While Chana originally opened her store in Tel Aviv, she decided to move it to Jerusalem three years ago. 

“I was hesitant about opening there,” she said. “I thought I’d have my windows smashed in. To this day though – and the shop has been running three years – I haven’t had one nasty comment, only the loveliest, most heartwarming experiences.”

She also opened a pop-up shop in New York before COVID hit, but it didn’t go over so well.

“It turns out, New York is not as ‘sex-positive’ and progressive as I thought,” Chana said. “I had people covering my Kosher Sex sign, leaving me threatening notes, shouting at me. Who would have thought it would be more welcome in the holy city of Jerusalem?”

While there are taboos around sex and religion in society, Chana insisted that they don’t come from Judaism.

“In Judaism, sex is holy and the glue that holds a couple together. Not only is Judaism open about sex, but also it is so understanding of human nature and therefore gives us guidelines on how to approach our sexuality.” – Chana Boteach

“It could be that puritan Christian values bled into our culture, because if you open a Talmud, the Rabbis talk so in-depth, so explicitly about sex, it’s sometimes shocking,” she said. “But in Judaism, sex is holy and the glue that holds a couple together. Not only is Judaism open about sex, but also it is so understanding of human nature and therefore gives us guidelines on how to approach our sexuality. There is just so much wisdom and it’s so unknown.”

Chana runs her business, but her father works with her on special projects. They host Instagram Live events and host a podcast, where they talk about different topics surrounding sexuality. 

“He’s kind of like the guru behind Kosher Sex,” she said. “Though, I will say, we butt heads sometimes. He’s more of the older generation and I’m the new, so our ideas aren’t always perfectly aligned.”

Serving the Jewish community runs in the Boteach family genes. One of Chana’s sisters, Shaina Gitler, is a Yoetzet Halachah, or a woman who can advise on matters related to the laws of family purity in Judaism. On Instagram, her other sister, Rochel Leah (Boteach) Taktuk, is an outspoken activist for the Jewish community. 

With her shop and company, Chana hopes to dispel the myths about Judaism and sex and spread a positive message instead. 

“What most people think about when they hear Judaism and sex, they think prudish and rules,” she said. “This couldn’t be further from the truth. People still actually believe that religious Jews have sex through a sheet and that so many sexual practices are off the table, which is, again, completely untrue.” 

She continued, “Judaism allows almost any sexual practice that a couple desires and brings them closer together, increasing their lust for each other. Judaism wants you to have really good, pleasurable sex. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”