Not all gratitude is created equal.
I can say thank you to a Lyft driver or an employee at a movie theater, but what do I say when my mother gives me valuable advice?
Or when a friend saves me from making a blunder? Or sends me a compliment for something I wrote?
Or when I’m grateful for being alive?
Can saying thank you work for all occasions?
When a word becomes ubiquitous, it no longer feels alive. It may be accurate and appropriate, but it’s stale. Almost cold.
That is the case with thank you. I’ve noticed in recent years that I rarely settle for those two words.
If I’m on text, I will try to add a little something warm, like “thank you, my friend.”
If I’m deeply grateful for what someone has done, I will try to elaborate and express how much the act has meant to me.
If someone brings a gift, I won’t say “you didn’t have to.” (Of course they didn’t have to.) I will show gratitude and refer to the gift.
If a friend shares a good idea on the parsha of the week, I will go out of my way to thank them and explain why.
When it comes to gratitude, I can’t do stoic.
When I meditate in the mornings to express gratitude to God, I make sure to include a long list, from being able to breathe to being able to write as I wish.
Gratitude is not just a well-known tonic for happiness; a way of appreciating life’s many blessings.
It’s also a bridge to deeper relationships.
When we’re grateful towards the people in our lives, it’s a reminder that we are not independent souls living on our own islands. We are dependent souls who need one another to lead meaningful lives.
Some people like to curb their expressions of gratitude so that they won’t “owe” anything in return.
But gratitude is not something to view through the cold lens of leverage or calculation. Gratitude is a recognition that we are not alone, that we need one another, that life is a lot more than “owing nothing to no one.”
Gratitude, at its deepest, is the glue that keeps us connected to our blessings and to humanity.
For that, I can’t say thank you enough.
