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What Do We See? It’s Up to Us

It's pretty easy to choose to see the good as gifts from God. It's much harder to see difficulties in the same light.
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April 28, 2022
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In my bustling Pico-Robertson neighborhood, it always feels like rush hour. Other than Shabbat, when our kosher stretch of Pico Boulevard is so quiet that it’s almost surreal, traffic is often snarled. Competition for street parking is so fierce that drivers sit with engines idling, waiting to lunge into a spot where another driver is sitting and texting, but they’re bound to pull out soon — won’t they? It’s enough to get me to walk to most of my local errands. 

When a coveted parking spot opens up exactly when I need it, almost as miraculously as the Red Sea parted for our ancestors, I always say, “Thank you, God!” We’re not supposed to “covet,” but I believe there are Divine loopholes for rare treasures such as parking spaces in congested urban areas.

I used to think such events were coincidence or “luck.” Now I see them as gifts from above. The parking spot was a message that God knows I’m busy, my errands have purpose, and He’s got my back. I try to be mindfully thankful for the blessings in my life: the biggies, such as waking up each morning and feeling good, or even waking up when my head is throbbing from a headache. Each new day of life is still a precious gift, a blank canvas wide open with potential. I also try to be thankful for the small pleasures, such as fresh-brewed hazelnut coffee or a wonderful new book. The more we count our blessings, the healthier we are in body and spirit. 

It’s pretty easy to choose to see the good as gifts from God. It’s much harder to see difficulties in the same light. Recently, my husband was in a minor car accident where he was at fault. Temporarily rattled, he quickly decided to see it as a gift, despite the hassles of dealing with insurance and repairs: no one was hurt, and he considered it a wake-up call to avoid distractions while driving, particularly from phone calls. When we discussed it, we both felt grateful to have been spared any serious auto-related accidents, especially given the epidemic of reckless driving going on these days.    

I have a young friend undergoing grueling chemotherapy for cancer. In a WhatsApp group devoted to saying Tehillim for her recovery, she reports frequent updates. Every one of them is poignant. I am in awe of her ability to always count her blessings, which she sees in a whole new light, though this perspective has come at a tremendous cost.  

Currently, I’m struggling through a deeply painful rift with someone very dear to me. Despite my sorrow, I’m working to see it as an opportunity to reassess the relationship and try to find a healthier way forward.  

I wasn’t raised to see life as an unfurling of God’s gifts or messages, but it wasn’t hard to develop, because one thing I’ve learned is that the more I choose to see God in my life, the more strikingly I feel His presence. If I considered events to be random or happenstance, they would become random or happenstance. But the stronger my awareness and feeling of security that God is my friend and that we have a relationship, the wider He opens that door, showing me all that He does for me and guiding my steps. Perception creates reality. 

In Judaism we believe that God “sends the remedy before sending the illness.” Knowing the solution is there if we are willing to patiently search for it can strengthen us during difficult times.

In Judaism we believe that God “sends the remedy before sending the illness.” Knowing the solution is there if we are willing to patiently search for it can strengthen us during difficult times. Sometimes we are able to see that solution or remedy fairly quickly, but sometimes it takes years to finally understand how a crisis laid the groundwork for something unexpected and beautiful.  

So, is that wonderful thing that just happened to us a coincidence, or was it a little hug from your Divine friend? Is the ordeal that is eating away at us just a random act of the cosmos, or a growth opportunity from our divine Personal Trainer? 

What do we see? It’s up to us.


Judy Gruen’s latest book is “The Skeptic and the Rabbi: Falling in Love with Faith.”

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