Passover 2021 is different from last year depending on where you live, in which case it may be exactly the same as last year. California’s indoor dining rules allow for socially-distanced group celebrations, and Israel has reopened, allowing households to socialize with one another. However, parts of Europe still forbid going you from going into anyone else’s house, continuing the isolation. The good news is that wherever you live, you can still enjoy the Jewish art of complaining.
I used to complain about long walks to shul on Shabbat morning until I was 21, when I spent Passover in St. Petersburg and had to walk home from a seder at 2 am in the freezing arctic wind. I was leading a student delegation with the mission of running Passover activities for the community. But when our group arrived at the local JCC, we discovered that the lights and heating were off and a crane with a wrecking ball was in the courtyard. Apparently, the building was about to be demolished. Maybe they had warned us in Russian. We were a young group of students, none of whom had led a seder before, but we had some cans of tuna and made the most of it. We would have complained, but unfortunately, the night went so well that it wrecked the opportunity to moan.
The Bible is a great training course in finding the negative aspect of every positive experience. The Children of Israel whine about thirst, hunger and the lack of meat, and they wish that they had died as slaves in Egypt. They never miss the opportunity to find the grey cloud in every silver lining. In case you feel too positive about life, you could write an “ingratitude list” of everything that is wrong.
This year we can grumble about not seeing distant relatives we want to be close to or seeing close relatives we want to be distant from. There is no opportunity to commit a broiges by deliberately not inviting the cousins you dislike. (The Yiddish word broiges encompasses taking offense, being upset with someone, remembering their past misdemeanors and more. A broiges can be handed down through generations. As the saying goes, “a broiges is for life, not just for simchas,” or family celebrations.)
But have no fear, you can create your own broiges to spice up the seder. We begin the Passover night saying that “in every generation [the enemy] rose up to kill us,” and this year, we can focus on the fact that anti-Semitism is as strong as ever, albeit in its current virulent strain of anti-Zionism, which allows people to say “I like Jews, but it’s Israel I despise.” Nonetheless, an optimistic companion might recognize that Israel is enjoying the best-ever international relations with its Arab neighbors as a result of the Abraham Accords, there are Jewish relatives in the White House for the second consecutive administration, and Israel’s innovations are enjoyed across the world. Should any of these positive ideas be mentioned, make sure you immediately cancel the relative in question.
You can create your own broiges to spice up the seder.
Another thing that might spoil our complaints of the evening is focusing on current international slavery or the persecution of the of the Muslim Uyghur population in the Xinjiang region of China. Hunger and violence in Mozambique, economic and social unrest in Venezuela and conflict and famine risk in Nigeria could also ruin the opportunity to feel bad about our own situation.
Unfortunately, the seder night ends with uplifting messages. The Dayenu song gives thanks for every blessing along our journey, the Hallel prayer shows gratitude for all of the blessings we have and the uplifting “next year in Jerusalem” refrain expresses faith in our great future. If things go really badly, we may leave Passover motivated with so much gratitude for what we have, increased sensitivity to the plight of others and motivation to help those less fortunate than us that we just don’t have the time to complete all of our intended charitable projects. That really would be something to complain about.
Chag Sameach and Happy Passover.
Marcus J Freed is an actor and business consultant, author of The Kosher Sutras and creator of the Hebrew Hamilton [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x-aoOKlwm8&lc=UgyARJqgzhGhAG1n8lR4AaABAg].
