These days, it’s difficult for a Republican and a Democrat to be friends. But how about a Palestinian Muslim and a Beverlywood practicing Jew? Oy gevalt.
One morning while praying, my phone rang. The call was from Abu Mustafa or Maz. Maz is a friend, a good guy and a Palestinian Muslim who practices his faith. When Maz calls me his brother, he taps his heart with his hand.
I once heard radio host and author Dennis Prager talk about what he called “black and white” dinners. Because many blacks might not know many whites, and vice versa, Prager said that if you have dinner with one person from a group you normally don’t socialize with, and get to know that person, then you can’t say that everyone from the other group is bad. Not that I thought all Palestinian Muslims were bad. I just didn’t know any. So, for now, Maz is my one. And if you know Maz, one is enough.
Maz and I never talk about Israel, conflict, occupation or war. Maz has his strong beliefs and I have mine. I’m sure there’s a lot we don’t agree on. Plus, he’s 6 feet 4 and I’m 5 feet 9. So we agreed not to broach those subjects. We’re not ostriches with our heads in the sand but, like in marriage, there are danger zones you don’t enter.
Maz and I met through a mutual friend and we found we had important things in common. I believe (and hope Maz agrees) that we have a mutual respect for each other. I liked Maz long before I knew he is a Palestinian. Then one day, I found out and I thought, this is interesting, I have a Palestinian Muslim friend. And because I didn’t prejudge him, but instead got to know him first, we grew closer.
One of my friends who also knows Maz on many occasions has made terrorist jokes about Maz in front of him. He might say, “If Maz sells you a car, get a mirror on a long stick and check underneath before you pull off the car lot.” By the way, I bought my Toyota Prius from Maz. It was the most pleasant car buying experience of my life.
Maz has shown up for the Jewish people in ways some of my Jewish friends haven’t.
Maz seems to handle terrorist jokes better than I do. I told a joke about Maz at my birthday roast. I said, “In Maz’s honor, I asked the manager of the restaurant to remove the ‘Occupied’ sign from the bathroom door.” The joke killed. I told that joke at my roast but I’m not a fan of terrorist jokes at Maz’s expense. It doesn’t help our relationship to bring up suicide bombers, just as I wouldn’t like if Maz did cheap Jew, big nose and Israel bulldozer jokes.
I invited Maz to my shul when my sons Jacob and Eli had their bar mitzvahs. Maz came and wore a kippah. When Maz was in a play that he wrote and one that he starred in, I attended both. We also were in a Showtime special called “Bridging the Gap,” about how humor brings together Jews and Muslims, two groups that ordinarily would not mix.
It’s not uncommon for Maz to wish me well on Jewish holidays and for me to wish him an easy Ramadan fast. It’s the only Muslim holiday I know. But no matter what’s happening in the Jewish/Palestinian world, we don’t talk about it.
So, can you really be friends with someone that you ideologically disagree with? Yes. Maz has shown up for the Jewish people in ways some of my Jewish friends haven’t. We had a sick friend, Jack Lavitch, who spent his final years in a nursing home and a hospital. Maz was there for him. When I’m going through rough times, Maz has been there for me to talk to. Maz is a good man. Maz calls me his brother. We need more Mazes in the world.
And so, my brother, As-salam-u alaikum and, to you and your family, shalom aleichem.
Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer.
