My local Ralphs has begun stocking its shelves with Passover goodies. The resonant voice of Charlton Heston can be heard on t.v. This can only mean one thing: the Jewish holiday of Passover is coming. Again, as every year, Jews around the world are instructed to personalize the Exodus story, “as though we ourselves were slaves in Egypt.”
Judging from the therapy clients coming through the doors of my office, there is plenty of resonance to be found. These days, few of us are actually physically enslaved. Yet we are often trapped internally. We lives our lives in restricted, confined routines because we are afraid of making changes without any guarantee.
Many people feel stuck internally, and don’t realize that they can empower themselves to change. Although it is not a conscious choice, we often choose the safety and familiarity of routine. But we disengage from our daily lives in subtle ways. We stay busy. We lower our expectations. We become slaves to our internal inertia.
I never realized this, but the Hebrew word for Egypt, mizrayim, can be translated as tight place. Place of constriction. The Israelites were physically constricted. Yet even when Moses offered them instant freedom, they hesitated. They weren’t sure that they wanted to exchange the familiar for danger and uncertainty.
When the Israelites approached the Red Sea, G-d had not yet parted the waters. According to the Rabbinic Midrash, a man named Nachson ben Aminadav responded by jumping into the sea without hesitation. Only after he was up to his nose in the water, did the sea part so that the Israelites could cross in safety. He had to take a leap of faith in order to go forward.
In a way, the therapeutic process requires that same leap of faith. Many of us have difficulty imagining that lasting change can be possible. One of the best parts of being a therapist is that I am blessed with the chance to offer my clients the idea that change is possible. That often leads to a sense of hopefulness that can lead to significant shifts.
Often, people engage in magical thinking. “I could leave my current circumstances and start all over again.” Unfortunately, it is never that simple. The grass is rarely, if ever, greener on the other side. It is not enough to move to a new physical destination–we need to work on our internal landscape. Part of that process involves being able to be compassionate to ourselves. To accept our imperfections and flawed selves. Only then can we become truly free.
Roni Blau is a licensed clinical therapist practicing in Santa Monica. She can be reached at roniblausw@gmail.com.
