fbpx

March 13, 2019

Accidental Culture and Why You Should Make Your Own Yogurt

Some of the most beloved foods were created by accident. Cereal, potato chips, ice cream cones and Worcestershire sauce — all happy accidents. And one of my favorite accidents is yogurt.

Of the few things I’d find it difficult to live without — cooking, sleep, exercise and yogurt — I can live without exercise and can get by on very little sleep, but cooking and yogurt — not a chance. Yogurt is one of those staples I grew up with; something doesn’t feel quite right if I’m not eating it on a regular basis and it’s rare when my fridge doesn’t have a lineup of jars full of the stuff I’ve made. 

It’s thought that the Neolithic herdsmen inadvertently created yogurt in 6,000 B.C.E. after milking their animals and traveling around Central Asia with the liquid in animal stomachs. The natural enzymes in these makeshift milk transport vessels curdled the milk, thus creating a fermented drink with a longer shelf life and a better taste. Genghis Khan, leader of the Mongol Empire, reportedly lived on yogurt as did his vast armies.

Being half Bulgarian means that yogurt is in my blood: It was a Bulgarian scientist, Stamen Grigorov, who was the first to identify the bacteria that caused milk to ferment and turn into yogurt in 1904. After studying yogurt made in the Trun region of Bulgaria by the village women in a traditional clay pot called a rukatka, Grigorov went to study in Switzerland, taking a sample of homemade yogurt with him. After examining the fermentation process, he identified the microorganisms and named them Lactobacillus bulgaricus as a nod toward his homeland and ended up linking Bulgarians with yogurt production forever. 

By the 1920s, because of the scientific community’s interest in Grigorov’s work, Bulgarian yogurt was all the rage in health-minded communities, particularly after Russian Nobel Prize-winning zoologist Elie Metchnikoff established a link between yogurt consumption in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria and the large concentration of centenarians in the villages there. Soon, news of the life-prolonging benefits of consuming yogurt spread across Europe and was introduced to much of the continent, where it remains a staple food.

“News of the life-prolonging benefits of consuming yogurt spread across Europe.”

The world’s biggest consumer of yogurt products is Russia, where it’s considered essential for weight management and healthful eating. The United States ranks second, and for that, we have a Greek-born, Sephardic Jew named Isaac Carasso to thank. 

In 1919, having immigrated to Barcelona, Spain, Carasso was the first to industrialize the production of yogurt. He named his company Danone (little Daniel) after his son, who in the 1940s took over a small yogurt factory in the Bronx, N.Y. That small company became the yogurt empire Dannon and was the first company to introduce fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt flavors after it was clear that Americans were less interested in the tart, plain yogurt eaten by Turkish immigrants to North America as early as the 1700s. Thus, the popularity of yogurt soared by the 1960s, making it one of the most important health foods ever marketed.

Today, while every supermarket seems to sell 47,000 types of yogurt ranging from Greek to goat to coconut and beyond, yogurt quality tends to differ from country to country and even store to store. Unfortunately, when you grow up on Israeli yogurt, labne and kefir, you get fussy and selective about the yogurt you consume. Not that American grocery store yogurt isn’t good, but the tang of yogurt that has been cultured in a long process rather than a product that has been thickened artificially and therefore doesn’t contain the probiotic benefits of fermentation tastes inferior to me.

Yogurt triggers vitamin B production when you consume it with the whey. Vitamins B and K are produced in our bowels when we eat yogurt, and this is thought to be protective from autoimmune and neural diseases. It’s also a must to eat yogurt when you are using antibiotics. Moreover, the lactic acid bacteria in yogurt boost your immune system. Like all fermented foods, yogurt prevents infections, gastrointestinal diseases and is even thought to prevent fluctuating blood sugar levels because it’s absorbed slowly by the bowels.

Of course, these health benefits rely on the quality of the yogurt. Only commercially available brands that are low in sugar and contain live active cultures can provide you any real benefits. While there are plenty of industrially produced yogurts on the market that are safe, there are also plenty of imposters out there, thickened with starches, containing high fructose corn syrup as well as preservatives that do not contain any active cultures. 

Yogurt is simple to make. Making yogurt at home allows you to control the ingredients, and you’ll taste the difference. 

Below is my yogurt recipe for the Instant Pot pressure cooker, which has a reliable yogurt setting. If you don’t own an Instant Pot or a yogurt maker, I’ve had great results using an oven preheated to the lowest setting and then shut off, and covering a pot wrapped in a beach towel to keep the temperature overnight a consistent 100 degrees F. Different strains of culture produce various tasting yogurts. I use a bit of my previous batch of yogurt to provide the culture but if I’ve forgotten to set some aside, I always keep a dried form of culture in my refrigerator. 

Lastly, I use ultra-pasteurized whole milk to make yogurt, which allows me to skip the boiling step. If you are using unpasteurized or raw milk, boil the milk first and then cool it to 100 degrees before adding the starter.

WHOLE MILK YOGURT IN INSTANT POT

8 cups ultra-pasteurized whole milk
1/4 cup yogurt with active cultures
(from a previous batch or a store-bought yogurt with Lactobacillus bulgaricus in it*)
*Substitute 2 tablespoons dry yogurt starter culture 

Sterilize all utensils, measuring spoons, whisk and the Instant Pot container with boiling water and let sit for 5 minutes or pour 2 cups cold water in the Instant Pot and pressure cook utensils for a few minutes to sterilize. This is an important step so as not to introduce a competing bacterium into your yogurt.

Pour 1 cup cold milk into the Instant Pot and add the 1/4 cup yogurt or the starter. Whisk well to combine. Add in the other 7 cups of milk and whisk well again.

Lock the Instant Pot lid into place and set it to yogurt normal function. I usually do this overnight before bed. I ferment yogurt for 10 hours but a time frame of 8 1/2 to 12 1/2 hours is fine, depending on how tangy you like it. The longer it’s fermented, the sourer it is.

When time is up, cover and place yogurt in the fridge to set, at least 6 hours or until thoroughly chilled, then transfer to clean glass jars. Set aside the 1/ 4 cup for the next batch. If you prefer thicker yogurt, strain in cheesecloth in the refrigerator until desired thickness. 

Makes 8 cups yogurt. 


Yamit Behar Wood, an Israeli-American food and travel writer, is the executive chef at the U.S. Embassy in Kampala, Uganda, and founder of the New York Kitchen Catering Co.

Accidental Culture and Why You Should Make Your Own Yogurt Read More »

Fogey Yoga

We roll onto our sides
slowly
my hip replacement
his fused spine
ankle reconstructed after sidewalk break
shoulder frozen in a round of golf
slipped discs trying to relocate
pre-slipped slots
we whimper into downward dog
grunt through sun salute
shoulder stand inverted curtain of loose skin
headstand wedged between two folding chairs
broken heroes on refurbished knees
wounded warriors one and two
rounded triangles
bowing boats
final Shavasana
the hardest pose of all they say
demanding full cessation
of intent and doing
piece of cake

Fogey Yoga Read More »

Table for Five: Purim

One verse, five voices. Edited by Salvador Litvak, Accidental Talmudist

The king said to Haman, “Hurry! Take the garment and the horse just as you have said, and do just so for Mordechai the Jew who sits at the king’s gate. Do not leave out a thing from all that you suggested.” –Esther 6:10


Kylie Ora Lobell
Jewish Journal contributing writer 

In this scene from Megillat Esther, King Ahasuerus has just discovered that Mordechai foiled an assassination plot, and the king wishes to honor him. He asks Haman what that honor should look like, and Haman thinks, mistakenly, that the honor is for himself. He ends up having to lead Mordechai through the city and telling everyone how wonderful Mordechai is. 

Ever since the Jewish people have come into existence, hateful people like Haman have attempted to wipe us out. Sadly, anti-Semitism is on the rise again, even in the United States — just look at the recent comments from two U.S. congresswomen on the left, and the scary websites run by far-right trolls on the dark corners of the internet. 

Until redemption comes, anti-Semitism will sadly never go away. There will always be jealous, spiteful, God-hating individuals in the world who want to destroy us. But I’m confident that we will survive every attack, just like we did over and over in years past, including in the story of Purim. 

Haman was a very powerful man, and yet in the end, he failed and the Jews won. We turned what was to be a tragic day into the most joyous one on the Jewish calendar. I’m hopeful that when Moshiach comes soon, anti-Semitism will finally be wiped away, and the Jews will prevail like they did in Shushan. We will truly shine, showing the world our status as a light unto the nations. May you have a wonderful, joyous and meaningful Purim!

Rabbi Chanan (Antony) Gordon
Motivational speaker

The instructions relayed by King Ahaseurus to Haman to assist Mordechai the Jew by preparing his apparel and horse without delay, goes to the core of the poetic justice that personifies the story of Purim. 

The sudden turn of fate whereby Haman, who had planned Mordechai’s demise in detail, was about to meet the exact fate he planned for Mordechai, highlights two of the most important themes of Purim:

Firstly, the emotion of laughter. There is no greater reversal than the prospect of immediate death replaced with life. The first time the concept of laughter appears in the Torah is in the context of Yitzchak. In addition to the allusion to laughter in Yitzchak’s name, our Sages teach that Yitzchak’s return from imminent death reflects the ultimate sudden reversal which is the greatest possible trigger of laughter. Similarly, the sudden twist of fate in the story of Purim is the source of the laughter synonymous with Purim. 

Secondly, just like HaShem’s name does not appear anywhere in the Megillah, similarly, HaShem himself appears to be hidden in our lives. The life lesson we need to take to heart is that just as the sudden turn of fate and happy ending in the story of the Megillah could not have been predicted, often in our lives, while we may understandably feel anxious at times, a Jew dare not despair because while seemingly hidden, HaShem is the ultimate director and each of our screenplays is customized for our good with altruistic love.

Rivkah Slonim
Education director, Rohr Chabad Center at Binghamton University, New York

Jewish Mysticism has an uncanny way of illuminating the least expected connections.

The Arizal taught that the roshei tevet an acrostic of the words “et hasoos v’et halevush,” the horse and the clothing, is the same as for the words “et hashamayim v’et ha-aretz,” the heavens and the earth in the first verse of the Torah. Those letters comprise one of the holy names for HaShem. The Chabad rebbes expounded that the secret of creation — heaven and earth — is God’s desire that we transform this lowly temporal existence into a majestic dwelling place for the divine. Not just in the obvious way of embracing that which is overtly holy. Nor even by transforming the otherwise neutral by using it for sacred purpose. But even by extricating the sparks of divinity that have fallen to the other side. The unholy. 

Hurry, says King Ahaseurus to Haman: dress Mordechai, parade him through the streets of the capital city seated on the king’s horse, and proclaim his greatness. Do this with alacrity!

If Haman would not have done so, he would have remained forever beyond the pale, with no tie to holiness. After this deed, there was room for reprisal; some of his descendants became involved in holiness.

What better holiday for highlighting this lesson than Purim, which is all about v’nehafach hu, inverting all paradigms? And what better time than now? Quickly, let’s bring the redemption; let’s expose the source of all earthiness that is in heaven. Even the Hamans.

Rabbi Benjamin Blech
Professor of Talmud, Yeshiva University

The rabbis understood the name of the biblical book describing the events of the Purim story in a profound way. Esther, the heroine, shares the Hebrew root of the word for hidden; megillah is connected to the idea of uncovering, revealing. Megillat Esther is nothing less than the one book of the Torah that helps us to recognize the hidden ways in which our lives follow the path of divine destiny.

One verse is the key to understanding the concept. It is perhaps the greatest biblical illustration of a fundamental theological principle of our faith. Haman has just described the glorious honor he believes is intended for himself — only to be told by the king in Chapter 6, Verse 10 that the recipient is to be Haman’s archenemy, Mordechai. More, according to the remarkable interpretation of the midrash, whenever the word “king” is used in the Megillah, it refers both to the king below and the king above. It is God himself who has spoken. It is God who decreed that the very same plan devised by the wicked for their personal grandeur will be granted to the righteous. Similarly, Haman will be hanged on the very tree he prepared as gallows for Mordechai.

It is the concept of karma. But it is far more than fate. It is the universe’s divine secret. What goes around comes back around. The hidden message this verse reveals is the remarkable truth that human beings are not punished for their sins — but by them.

David Sacks
Podcasts TorahOniTunes.com

Everything can change in an instant. King David writes in the Psalms, “I look up to the mountains, from where my help will come?” The Vilna Gaon notes that if you take the Hebrew literally, the verse actually says, “I look up to the mountains, from out of nowhere my help will come. 

In other words, salvation can come in the blink of an eye. The phone can ring with good news, you can suddenly meet your soulmate, healing can arrive because nothing is difficult for God. Think about it. God created the entire universe out of nothingness. Certainly, he can bring about whatever he wants, whenever he wants. 

Purim teaches us that these miraculous salvations, which come seemingly out of nowhere, are being prepared for us right in front of our eyes. God does this by guiding the world with his hidden hand. 

When I was a new father, I got a glimpse of how this process works. My newborn was hungry and crying. I started making a bottle for him — the very thing he wanted most — but still he kept crying. I didn’t understand why. Later I learned that newborns can see only a few inches in front of their faces. 

And then I realized that’s all of us!

Purim is the capital of when secrets become revealed. May HaShem open our eyes, and speedily reveal all the blessings he’s been preparing for us since the world was created so that we can serve him with absolute joy.

Table for Five: Purim Read More »

Adding Diversity to the Startup Nation

People tend to imagine Israel in one of two ways. They envision either a technological hub — a futuristic utopia built on ancient soil; or a war-torn land of camel-trodden dunes — a bleak and dusty landscape peppered with ancient stone buildings in the casbah style.

Both of these are true. Israel is, after all, a land of contradictions. 

The country’s reputation as a tech powerhouse is deserved. It has a thriving innovation sector, a high concentration of startups and a penchant for producing technology valued around the world. At the same time, the vast majority of Israelis are not involved in the tech industry and don’t directly enjoy its benefits.

The high-tech sector has done little to mitigate the fact that Israel has some of the highest poverty rates in the developed world, and that most of the country’s minority populations like Arab Israelis and the ultra-Orthodox remain unemployed or underemployed. As The Economist magazine reported, “The dynamic, globalized startup nation accounts for only about a tenth of employment.” 

Noted Tel Aviv University professor and researcher Dan Ben-David put it more starkly in his 2012 article, “The Start-Up Nation’s Threat from Within”: “How is this relatively high level of Israeli innovation factoring into the country’s productivity — and then into its living standards? The relation between the two is poor, at best.” 

Amir Mizroch, director of communications at Start-Up Nation Central (SNC) in Tel Aviv, is well acquainted with Israel’s “threat from within” but sees it as a solvable problem. SNC was formed by The Paul E. Singer Foundation (PESF) and is funded by the PESF and a select group of philantrhopic partners. SNC pursues two main objectives: to connect Israeli startups with global companies and markets, and to develop untapped “human capital” in Israeli society.

“The high-tech sector represents 44 percent of all of Israeli exports,” Mizroch said. “But this vast industry is resting on a very narrow column. Of the 300,000 workers in Israel’s tech sector, the vast majority are male, Ashkenazi Jews with similar backgrounds in military intelligence units.” 

This dependence on a limited pool of talent and perspective puts Israel at a disadvantage when it comes to global competition.

According to a recent report conducted by SNC and Israel’s Innovation Authority, 1 in 4 growth-stage Israeli tech companies is setting up research and development operations abroad — usually in the Ukraine or India — to take advantage of lower labor costs but also because Israel has a relatively small talent pool. 

Israel’s quick start in the technological innovation sector is due to a couple of factors, Mizroch said. One can be summed up with the adage “necessity is the mother of invention” — as a young country isolated from its Middle East neighbors, Israel had to innovate to grow its economy. The other factor is density — Israel is small and its close-knit culture encourages collaboration and cross-pollination of ideas.

But the rest of the world is catching up. If Israel wants to keep its lead, its business and labor experts agree, it needs to quicken its pace and broaden its talent pool.

“In Israel, you’re expected to have chutzpah, to push your way forward. Arabs aren’t like this. They’re very polite.”
— Tal Morris

Recently, at the shared workspaces of WeWork Jerusalem, staff members with SNC’s “Excellenteam” program were preparing for the graduation ceremony that would mark the end of their pilot course. Furniture was being pushed out of the way as folding chairs were brought in. 

Excellenteam is one of SNC’s human capital programs. It consists of two parallel courses, one for Arab Israelis and one for Charedi women. Designed to help participants get a foot in the door of Israel’s high-tech sector, the program provides hands-on programming experience and training in soft skills such as networking, resumé writing and job interview etiquette.

To the uninitiated, the term “human capital” may sound like impersonal corporate jargon. As a visitor scanned the WeWork offices, however, it was clear that the human element was being emphasized.

In a conference room, participants in Excellenteam’s course for Arab Israelis were putting the finishing touches on the final presentations of their projects. Before they started the course, they were strangers from different backgrounds — Muslim, Christian and Druze, northerners, southerners, urbanites, suburbanites and small-village dwellers. Now, as they traded ideas, they sounded like friends who had known one another since childhood. After weeks of studying together (interspersed with all-night, pizza-fueled hackathons and team-based projects) they had built something of vital importance to success in Israel’s high-tech world: a community.

The Start-Up Nation Central office. Photo by Amit Geron

Majd AbuHattoum, a participant from Nazareth, said he entered the Excellenteam program with modest expectations. He figured it would be a good way to “waste” three months between his university studies and the job market, especially since the program was paid for by scholarships. Why pass up extra training without extra cost?

“I knew it would be OK tech-wise, but I didn’t expect how amazing it would be socially,” AbuHattoum said. “I’ve never been close with people from Jerusalem or Beit Jann [a Druze village in northern Israel] before. We have different accents and different cultures. But everyone got along really great. That’s not always what you expect with a group like this.”

The sense of community AbuHattoum experienced is often taken for granted by current Israeli tech workers, many of whom come from similar backgrounds and are pipelined into tech careers from the same military intelligence units and universities.

“Arabs don’t always have an older brother or a cousin or a friend in the high-tech scene who can tell them how things work,” said Tal Morris, the program staff member in charge of recruiting and working with Excellenteam’s Arab participants. “Without a network, they have to figure it out on their own.”

But the lack of a network is just one of many challenges Israel’s minorities face when seeking employment in the tech sector.

“Sometimes employers will pass on the resumé that says ‘Muhammed,’ ” Morris said. “One candidate sent his CV out 50 times under his own name and heard nothing back. Then he sent it out three times with the name ‘Gadi’ and got an interview right away.”

When Arab candidates do get called to interviews, cultural differences present a further barrier. 

“In Israel, you’re expected to have chutzpah, to push your way forward,” Morris said. “Arabs aren’t like this. They’re very polite.”

“Start-Up Nation Central pursues two main objectives: to connect Israeli startups with global companies and markets, and to develop untapped “human capital” in Israeli society.”

Religious candidates face similar discrimination. “There’s a stigma that ultra-Orthodox engineers are cheap and mediocre,” said Ohad Reifin, SNC’s vice president of strategy. “They aren’t. But sometimes their training is.”

Minority candidates often don’t pursue top positions because they assume they won’t be considered, according to Maty Zwaig, SNC’s director of human capital programs. “We speak to the big companies all the time and the HR departments tell us they don’t receive many CV’s from Arab or ultra-Orthodox candidates,” Zwaig said.  

Companies want employees who can hit the ground running. Secular, male Jewish candidates come to the workforce with years of hands-on experience gained through internships, the military or both. Arab and Charedi candidates rarely have such experience.

Efrat Traube, a graduate of Excellenteam’s course for Charedi women, put it this way: “Computer science graduates don’t really know how to do anything. Imagine that we’ve been studying basketball. We know that a shot from here is two points and a shot from there is three, but we’ve never been on the court. We won’t be able to play if you throw us the ball.”  

For a person who lives in the ultra-Orthodox world, studying in college is often a hard-earned privilege, and they can be discouraged when they realize that their degree is not enough on its own to secure a high-paying career. 

“It’s not a trivial thing that we even have a degree,” Traube said. “Most of the people here did something brave just by deciding to study.” 

Participants in the Excellenteam course for Charedi women also are balancing professional development with busy family lives. In the Charedi world, husbands dedicate their lives to talmudic studies, so the responsibilities of managing the household and being the breadwinner falls to the wife.  

Two of the Charedi participants, in fact, had babies during the run of the course and returned within weeks of giving birth to resume their studies. Stories like these are a testament to the women’s ambition and tenacity, but also present a clear picture of the challenges the women will face in trying to maintain a career and raise a family.

“I don’t like to go there,” Traube said. “I want to believe that as long as you’re good enough, you’re going to get places.”

The program’s staff members shared her optimism, and during the graduation ceremony they emphasized one particular point: Arab Israelis and Charedi women have something vital to contribute to the country’s innovation economy, and the high-tech sector needs them as much as they need it.

“Arab Israelis and Charedi women have something vital to contribute to the country’s innovation economy, and the high-tech sector needs them as much as they need it.”

SNC is not alone in trying to address Israel’s “human capital” problem.

At the academic level as well, efforts are being made to expand and diversify the pool of Israelis heading into computer science programs.

Professor Yaffa Zilbershats, chair of the Planning and Budgeting Committee of the Council of Higher Education, said there is no shortage of good candidates for computer science programs in Israel. However, there is a shortage of places where they can learn, a shortage of infrastructure, and a shortage of quality teachers. 

“Our main obstacle is scarcity of teachers,” Zilbershats said. “The good people, even if they have PhDs, are being abducted by the industry where they can earn more money.”

In collaboration with the government and with the tech industry, the Planning and Budgeting Committee has been working to provide more funding for tutoring and assistance programs in an effort to ensure that a greater percentage of students succeed in their degree studies and are ready for the job market. 

“This is of value for all students, and in particular for Arab Israelis and Charedim,” Zilbershats said. “We provide academic support, social support, mental support, anything they need. We also work with the industry to create opportunities for students to work on hands-on projects as they study.” 

In Israel, what unites also divides. Military service, in certain swaths of Israeli society, is the great equalizer, a shared experience of camaraderie and responsibility. The flip side of this cohesion is the divide that military service places between secular and religious people, Jew and Arab. National identity and religion have a similar effect. When shared, they produce the tightest of bonds. When not shared, they often create alienation.

The high-tech industry, then, presents a unique opportunity for Israel: It can be a source of national pride and distinction, without the divisive trappings of ethnicity, peoplehood or religion; something that everyone can get behind and take part in.

At least in theory.

“Most of the people here did something brave just by deciding to study.”
— Efrat Traube

At the WeWork offices, as people arrived for the graduation ceremony, many different sectors of Israeli society were represented.

Until this day, the training courses for Charedi women and Arab Israelis had been kept separate. Avital Bass, Excellenteam’s program manager, admitted to being nervous about bringing together the two groups. She had her eyes peeled for any signs of tension or discomfort among the people taking their seats on the folding chairs.  

If there was any tension, it wasn’t expressed — a small but reassuring indication that Israel is more than the sum of the stereotypes repeated about it.

During the ceremony, the graduates went before a panel of judges to present the projects they had been working on. 

From the Charedi women’s group, the winning presentation was a remarkable project designed for use in schools with special-needs children. The software they created sensed environmental changes in a classroom (such as sudden bright lights, an increase in noise or overcrowding) and alerted teachers as to which students might be affected by the conditions, offering tips for helping the students cope in constructive ways.

The Arab Israeli teams’ winning project, called “Catch Me If You Can,” used facial recognition software to match the faces of people scanned by outdoor advertisements with the faces of people seen purchasing those advertised products at a store. A bit unsettling, perhaps, but a clever, appealing idea for businesses wanting to measure the effectiveness of their advertisements.

While watching the presentations at the graduation ceremony, it became apparent what a positive effect an initiative like Excellenteam can have. 

SNC’s main goal is to expand Israel’s talent pool, but its program can expand a much larger pool of human creativity as well. Programmers and designers from different backgrounds will think differently, will find new solutions for tired problems and will identify challenges that a homogenous group might fail to recognize.

If the Excellenteam program continues to grow, it could very well transform Israel’s tech landscape. It could also change the lives of Charedim, of Arab Israelis and, indeed, of all Israelis.


Matthew Schultz is a writer living and working in Tel Aviv.

Adding Diversity to the Startup Nation Read More »

Can Israel Win Back the Democratic Party?

In June 1972, Israel’s ambassador to the United States was criticized by The Washington Post for being an “undiplomatic diplomat.” The ambassador was Yitzhak Rabin. The occasion was the presidential election between Republican Richard Nixon and Democrat George McGovern. Rabin’s supposed offense was expressing Israel’s preference that Nixon would come out on top. “While we appreciate support in the form of words we are getting from one camp,” Rabin told an interviewer, “we must prefer support in the form of deeds we are getting from the other camp.” 

Words — from the Democratic camp. Deeds — from the Republican camp.

Nearly 47 years later, a majority of Israelis feel the same as Rabin did then. Support for Israel is bipartisan in words mostly, in practice it is highly partisan — and not because of what Israel does or does not do. 

It is well-established fact that Democratic voters look less favorably on Israel than their Republican counterparts and fewer see it as a strong ally. Survey after survey, including a recent survey by Gallup, shows the gap. And as The New York Times reported a few months ago, the party itself is also changing, as “a cluster of activist Democrats … has dared to breach … strong support for Israel….” It’s true that mainstream Democrats call these Democratic Party leaders “fringe,” but the surveys indicate that this fringe might now reflect the perspectives of the party’s elected officials. 

For Israel, this is a highly troubling development, a matter of national security. Striving to have “bipartisan support” was always the policy of Israel and its allies. And while bipartisanship was always somewhat overhyped, it mostly worked well from the late 1970s until recent times. Rabin, the ambassador to the Nixon administration, had a close relationship with Democratic President Bill Clinton. 

The change in tone and attitude has been gradual. As Israel moved rightward, following the failure of the Israeli-Palestinian peace process, the Democratic Party moved leftward, from Clintonian triangulation to Barack Obama, and then even further to the left. Israelis feel at ease when Republican presidents — George W. Bush, Donald Trump — are at the helm. They felt much less comfortable with Obama, whom a majority of Israeli Jews considers the “worst president” for Israel in the past 30 years. 

While bipartisanship was always somewhat overhyped, it mostly worked well from the late 1970s until recent times. 

What can Israel do to mitigate the erosion of Democratic support? For many liberal Americans, and also some Israelis, the answer is simple: Israel must change its policies to win back the Democratic Party’s support. American liberals point their fingers at various Israeli policies — from not ending the West Bank occupation to bombing Gaza and passing “illiberal” legislation — that they say underlie the growing alienation. Opposition leaders in Israel blame Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for aligning his government with conservative Americans and thus creating a “serious problem” for Israel when the Democratic Party comes back into power. 

Undoubtedly, some of Israel’s policies contribute to making liberal Americans less enamored with the country they once adored. But a serious look at the trends must end with a disappointing conclusion from an Israeli viewpoint: There is not much that Israel can do to bring Democrats back into its corner, other than wait for the tide to reverse.

It goes without saying that Israel must invest in bipartisan support to the highest extent possible. No sane Israeli leader is going to forgo the support of half of Americans because of laziness or carelessness. On the other hand, U.S. bipartisan support is just one item on the list of many that Israel must worry about. First and foremost, it must worry about survival in a dangerous neighborhood. Thus, any discussion of Israel’s ability to impact the views of Democratic voters must begin with a straightforward question: What would be the cost of regaining their support? 

The answer — again, sadly — is that the cost seems to be too high. Here is one example: Democratic voters and legislators overwhelmingly supported the Obama administration’s nuclear deal with Iran. Israeli voters and their government believed this deal was dangerous for Israel. So, in 2015, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak in Congress against the deal.

This was a highly partisan move, a “risky gambit” as professor Daniel Drezner called it. Back then I opposed it, believing that Netanyahu “has turned Israel into a political football.” Indeed, he had. Republicans cheered his speech; Democrats were furious with it. In retrospect, I was wrong. Had Netanyahu not decided that the benefit (making the case, refusing to surrender) outweighed the risk (further alienating Democrats), it would have been much harder to imagine Trump taking the bold step of withdrawing from the deal. 

Israel’s dilemma is not hard to understand: Losing bipartisan support is strategically dangerous; accepting a reality of an emboldened Iran is strategically dangerous. Sometimes a choice must be made. Which of these two is more dangerous? More urgent? More susceptible to influence?

While for Israel to assuage its policies on Iran, or on Gaza, is certainly dangerous, its ability to influence Democratic tendencies at a reasonable cost is far from clear. Rabin understood this in the 1970s, when he was looking at a Democratic Party smitten with McGovernites — “the kind of liberal he had learned to dislike,” as professor Ephraim Inbar wrote in his book, “Rabin and Israel’s National Security.”

Netanyahu probably sees a similar picture as he looks at a Democratic Party highly influenced by the likes of Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont and highly attentive to activists whose philosophy is intersectionality. He looks at the party whose leaders not long ago vowed to move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem (the 1995 Jerusalem Embassy Act was passed in the Senate by a 93-5 majority, with only one opposing Democrat) but recently, vehemently, opposed this move. 

Israel and the Democratic Party have changed since 1995. Democrats became less tolerant of hardnosed realistic policies — the exact types of policies that Israel gradually adopted. 

Can Israel make moves that would mitigate the trend of it becoming unfashionable among Democrats? Sure. It needs to make such goal a priority whenever possible. But it is important to acknowledge a frustrating reality: Since Israel is not going to completely alter its security policy, only little mitigation is possible.

Democratic support for Israel is weakening as a result of internal American dynamics. When Democrats turn to moderate centrism — as in the days of Presidents Lyndon Johnson or Clinton — relations with Israel are solid. When Democrats move leftward — as in the days of McGovern or Obama — relations with Israel become rockier. This is basically true whether Israel is led by a Labor government headed by a Rabin or a Likud government headed by a Netanyahu.


Shmuel Rosner is senior political editor. For more analysis of Israeli and international politics, visit Rosner’s Domain at jewishjournal.com/rosnersdomain.

Can Israel Win Back the Democratic Party? Read More »

U.S. State Department Recognizes Golan Heights As Israeli Territory

The U.S. State Department has officially recognized the Golan Heights as Israeli territory in its new human rights report.

Axios reports that the human rights report, which was released on March 13, recognizes the Golan Heights as being “under Israeli control”; prior administrations had recognized it as “occupied territory.” The report also removed the “occupied” term in referencing Judea and Samaria.

A senior State Department official told Axios, “As we stated last year, we retitled this Human Rights Report to refer to the commonly used geographic names of the area the report covers: Israel, the Golan Heights, the West Bank, and Gaza. That is in line with our practices generally. We also believe it is clearer and more useful for readers seeking information on human rights in those specific areas. The title of the report was updated to reflect current practices in the Department and to be clearer and more useful to readers and researchers.”

The State Department’s Golan Heights move comes after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Republican Sens. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) and Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) have lobbied for the Trump administration to formally recognize Israel’s sovereignty over the Golan Heights. Axios notes that referring to the Golan Heights as “under Israeli control” isn’t “a recognition of Israeli sovereignty,” it is “a clear signal in that direction.”

According to Jewish Virtual Library (JVL), the Golan Heights was under Syria’s control from 1948-1967; Israel took control of it after the Six-Day War and annexed it in 1981. If Israel were to withdraw from the Golan Heights, it “could jeopardize its early warning system against surprise attack,” JVL notes.

Jewish Telegraphic Agency reported that the Israel Defense Forces revealed on March 13 that they discovered a “Hezbollah terrorist infrastructure” in the Golan Heights.

U.S. State Department Recognizes Golan Heights As Israeli Territory Read More »

The Colonel of Command Control

If mPrest’s command-and-control system is the nerve center of Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system, then founder and CEO Natan Barak is its cerebrum. Barak, however, argues that some of the real smarts behind his technology stem from the legions of Charedi women he employs. 

A retired Navy colonel, Barak won Israel’s prestigious Defense Prize for his contribution to the Jewish state’s national security with the Iron Dome (developed together with Rafael Advanced Defense Systems). Sensors all over Israel report on airborne metal, which is then identified as an incoming projectile and then the system calculates if it’s going to land in population centers or deserted areas. In each instance, the system determines solutions for hundreds of real-time scenarios. 

Because mPrest’s command-and-control is flexible and generic, it can be adapted to almost any system in the world. For that reason, mPrest has since moved from defense to civilian solutions and, according to Barak, now operates in almost every country, powering IoT (internet of things) capacities: smart water utilities, smart energy, smart agriculture, vehicle tracking and even natural disaster forecasting. 

“First of all, we saved lives but now we want to make life more beautiful by increasing efficiency and reducing costs,” Barak said. 

As with the Iron Dome, the system collects data before a natural disaster from tens of thousands of sensors, radars and drones and concentrates them into a single picture to determine the impact on critical infrastructure and facilities. 

“Everyone thinks we are the startup nation because of our defense activity, but the truth is, [it’s] because we were learning Talmud for many years.”

Netafim, the Israeli company famous for pioneering drip-irrigation technology, started to use mPrest’s systems in a bid to overhaul its model. Now mPrest is enabling Netafim to remotely manage thousands of farms around the world, and that number is set to swell to tens of thousands by the end of the next year, Barak said. 

Another mPrest client, New Zealand’s electricity and gas distributor Vector Limited, recently made a $10 million investment in the firm, joining the ranks of existing investors including OurCrowd, Rafael, GE Ventures, Israel Electric Corp. and Angeleno Group.

Barak doesn’t wear a kippah but is Orthodox and a graduate of Bnei Akiva yeshiva. A strong advocate for Charedi women in the workforce, he runs a team comprised exclusively from that demographic. Although he admits that there are challenges to running such a team, such as frequent maternity leaves, the benefits far outweigh the pitfalls. “They do the same work as engineers — they’re no less good,” he said. In addition to being smart and quick learners, they also contribute to a positive work environment. “They are very devoted. They don’t waste time on Facebook and they are very, very straight,” he said, citing the example of an employee who asked permission before taking the time to make a personal phone call. 

Barak said that his Torah background probably had more to do with the trajectory his life took than his illustrious military career. The logic behind his theory applies also to Israel itself. “Everyone thinks we are the startup nation because of our defense activity, but the truth is, we are the startup nation because we were learning Talmud for many years,” he said. “The whole Talmud is about differentiators. One rabbi will say one thing and one rabbi will contradict. It’s about arguing, questioning and analyzing. This is the power and the beauty of our nation.”

The Colonel of Command Control Read More »

Q&A: Activist George Haroonian discusses Iranian Revolution’s impact on Iranian Jewry

For nearly four decades Iranian American Jewish activist George Haroonian has been one of the most vocal voices in Southern California speaking out about the Iranian regime’s abuse of the Jewish community in Iran and its vile policy of anti-Semitism clocked in anti-Zionism. In 2000, he was one of a small group of Iranian Jewish activists courageously working with the larger American Jewish community in helping to place international pressure on the Iranian regime when at the time, 13 Jews from the Iranian city of Shiraz were randomly arrested by the regime on false charges of spying for Israel facing immanent execution. Ultimately the Shiraz Jews were imprisoned but not executed and later released. When others in the Iranian American Jewish community have prefer to remain silent or on the sidelines when it comes to speaking out against the Iranian regime’s anti-Semitism, Haroonian has been vocal about the regime’s policies against Jews in various Persian language media outlets in the U.S. and Europe.

With the 40th anniversary of the Iranian revolution just last month, I sat down with Haroonian recently to get his perspective on the impact of the Islamic revolution on Iran’s ancient Jewish community and Iranian Jews living in the U.S. today. He discussed both the negative and positive impacts the revolution has had after 40 years on Iranian Jewry.

Karmel Melamed: Our community has been living in Iran for 2700 years prior to 1979. Can you please explain why it was such a massive traumatic and difficult situation for the majority of our community to be uprooted because of the revolution?

George Haroonian: I think the Iranian Jewish community has had different levels of experience because of this forced immigration. Obviously the older generation, that is people over 50 years old faced a more difficult task in adjusting to the new country. Don’t forget we also had a significant number of younger people who were here prior to the revolution going to colleges and universities who had a much easier time adjusting.  The experience of leaving what has taken generations to build by some and starting from scratch, is common to all immigrant communities. Leaving your friends, family and more than anything your “command of life” versus a new situation where one is in a “vacuum”  and free fall, is best way of portraying this experience of new immigrants.

Why did we as Jews leave Iran in such a mass exodus? Was it the Habib Elghanian execution that woke the community up to the real nightmare of Khomeini?

The execution of the late Habib Elghanian was indeed the “tipping point” or wake up call for many. One should not discount the fact that our community’s psyche and common experience is quite familiar with Islamic extremism and the experiences of past and present generation had taught us to be aware of the intolerance of Jews by these people and our marginalization in society. Although we as Jews had much more economic and civil freedom under the Pahlavi rule, anti-Semitism was always felt by us in Iran. So I suppose a trigger was needed to make this exodus happen.

Why did the new Khomeini regime execute Jews? What in your opinion was their true objective?

To instill fear and also to send [a] message to the outside world. Both Israel and [the] world Jewish community.  I have always maintained that Iranian Jewish community is both a “pawn” and a “hostage” of the Islamic regime.

Older Iranian Jewish leaders have in past year told me the regime wanted to get rid of the Jews in order to confiscate their wealth. How true was this and did anti-Semitic Islamic ideology also play a role in the regime’s actions against the Jews?

Their contentions were indeed fact. It is no secret that the “Setad”, the entity estimated to worth about 95 billion dollars and is under the direct control of Khamenei– and has no supervision by Iranian government or parliament, is mostly from confiscated assets of wealthy Jews and Baha’is along with successful industrialists under the Shahs regime. Also one cannot discount the ideology of an Islamic regime which is based on ridding society of non-Muslims. Same has happened to Armenians and other Christian communities of Iran. Large sections have left Iran altogether.

Obviously many in the younger generation of Iranian Jews have no recollection of Iran because America has been our home for their entire lives. But why has been it been so difficult for the older generation to make the transition and some have still not been able to adjust to life here? Was it also because many faced unbelievable poverty and anti-Semitism in the Jewish ghettos of Iran only to have their better lives snatched away from them?

My experience as the first generation is that many have adjusted and accepted this reality. Although for the people older than 70 years or so, it is more traumatic but I think the resiliency of our older generation cannot be discounted. Yes, they were mostly born in Jewish ghettos and in early 1900’s most of our people were not well to do. They were at the most peddlers and or small shop owners living under harsh circumstances. But that is why our families are close knit and we care for each other. That is why we still have children and grandchildren taking care of grandparents.  The experience of emigrating within Iran from smaller cities to the larger urban areas or moving out of ghettos all happened mostly in first half of 20th century. So we have prior experience in moving from somewhere to another.

We were the first Jews to face the wrath of this radical Islamic regime in 1979. Today the regime in Iran seeking the genocide of millions of Jews in Israel and continuously denies the Holocaust. What should be our message as Iranian Jews to American and world Jewry when it comes to this regime? What would you like to see from other Jewish communities?

My message is that as Hitler should have been taken seriously before it was too late, same is very much true for the Islamic regime who has taken over Iran. The servitude of Jews to Muslims is part and parcel of the ideology of this regime. Yes, they have among them western educated personnel who speak the language of diplomacy like Javad Zarif and yes there are those who seem to be “pragmatists” , hence the nuclear deal , but the core belief of the Islamists is that Jews cannot rule over Muslims and they have to be under the rule of Muslims. So their view of the Israel-Arab conflict is not a political or land issue, but a religious matter. The wars of Mohammad and Ali against Jewish tribes in Arabia are the foundation of this outlook. The Jews were all killed, their wives and children taken into slavery.  Now some so-called enlightened people in the West find this hard to digest or it is in their economic interest to ignore it. But this is the foundation for their support of groups who are in war against Israel and that is why they are involved in Syria. The people of Iran should be assisted, so they can overthrow the regime. That is what any peace loving and freedom seeking American should do.

How critical were the American Jewish leaders and elected officials in helping us transition to a new life here in L.A.?

They played a very pivotal and critical role in welcoming our community. People like Rabbi Zvi Dershowitz of Sinai Temple who welcomed our community with open arms will never be forgotten. The leadership at the Los Angeles Jewish Federation Council and the Jewish schools in L.A. who welcomed our children. All and all they showed and proved they follow the famed saying “kohl Israel  aravim zoe la ze” which means all Jews are responsible for each other.

Some in our community looking back after 40 years since the revolution say it was a blessing in disguise because we have flourished and achieved unbelievable success as a result of becoming a part of America. What are your thoughts?

Yes. Gam ze le Tovah which means “this too is for the best”. We came to the greatest country in the world with opportunities to grow and flourish in freedom. But we have also bought into the mistakes that the older arrivals have made. Our lack of Jewish education in different levels has caused many families to move rapidly towards assimilation and indifference toward their heritage. We are seeing rising tide of intermarriage and lack of marriage. We are seeing increase in divorce rates and legal action among community members instead of resolving them through mediation or arbitration.  These and other instances are all examples of this departure from traditions that sustained us. I also see for many, financial success is the most supreme achievement. This is nothing but a lack of moral and religious foundation. I see a revival of interest by the second generation in our heritage and values, hence some younger people getting interested in learning more of the gift of their grandparents. This is a heartwarming development.

Some in the American Jewish community say we should forget the revolution and what happened to us and move on. Why is it still critical for America and American Jews to hear our story and what happened to us during the revolution today?

This is a double edged issue. Yes in order for a new immigrant to adjust and advance in the new country, he or she has to let go of the past and delve into the new life. At the same token, Iran has been in the news for the past 40 years. The new regime in Iran is indeed the cause of most of friction in the Middle East and in direct confrontation with United States.  The question is, who has the first hand and direct experience with the psyche and mentality of Iranian rulers? Is it a New York Times or CNN reporter, or is it the people who were born and raised in Iran? So I think our contribution to the conversation of what’s happening in Iran is crucial and has to be taken very seriously.

Your late uncle Yosef Cohan was the last Jewish representative in the Iranian parliament at the start of revolution. Can you share with me some of the difficulties he faced during this time of chaos with regards to our community?

Well he wrote a book about this that has been partially translated.  During the dark days before the downfall of the Shah, where anti-Jewish propaganda was heard and felt, he felt that his main task was to protect the community from attacks and danger. He arranged through very difficult and dangerous channels to meet the revolutionaries and the religious leader of the time, before arrival of Khomeini to discuss the concerns of our community.  After much trials and tribulation he was successful to get the statement by Ayatollah Shariatmadari who said “we don’t have any issues with Jews and are only against Zionists”. Of course at that time, no one was stupid enough to openly announce that they are Zionists.  After the execution of his friend Habib Elghanian, he went into hiding for a few months and later left the country with the permission of revolutionary court after a petition was signed by all Jewish leaders announcing that Yosef Cohen was indeed elected by the community and had served with dignity.

How do you see our community changing and evolving in the next 40 years?

The American Jewish community with Iranian heritage will be part and parcel of the larger Jewish community. I hope with the same love and dedication towards Judaism and Israel. We will be Orthodox, Conservative and Reform as well as non-observant and ethnically Jewish. Many will leave the tribe and assimilate.  Our problems and our solutions will be the same for all the community.  I see great leaders emerging from our community who will lead the general community in returning to the roots of Jewish people.

Q&A: Activist George Haroonian discusses Iranian Revolution’s impact on Iranian Jewry Read More »

Why I’m Going to AIPAC This Year

I’m going to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) Policy Conference on March 24-26 in Washington, D.C., this year, and I’d like to explain why:

• I’m participating in the conference because I want to listen, converse and mingle with 20,000 people who affirm that a strong relationship between Israel and the United States is good for both countries and good for the people living around them. If two democracies are able to share security information, scientific know-how, academic and cultural exchanges, everyone benefits.

• I’m going to the conference because I’m passionately committed to the ideas that gave birth to Israel: that the Jewish people, long exiled by force from our homeland, now have the opportunity to return and establish a state that is Jewish, democratic and secure, doing the hard work of integrating millennia of Jewish tradition with contemporary commitments to liberal democracy, freedom of speech and press, and equal dignity for all its residents. As with America, the dream is greater than the reality. As with America, I will never give up on working to bridge the gap so that the dream becomes the new reality. And I celebrate each time the dream progresses.

• I’m attending AIPAC’s conference because I’m committed to Zionism, the notion that the Jewish people have the right to national self-determination no less than any other group. I understand that this right implies that the other people of the Middle East, including the Palestinians, also have a similar right. Either every group of people has the right to national self-determination or there is no such right. In affirming that Jewish national self-expression is a virtue, I simultaneously admit that right to Palestinian national self-expression as well. Standing on the shoulders of former Israeli President Chaim Weizmann (1874-1952) and other brave Israelis, I hope to help advance the dynamic reality of two peoples living side by side, affirming the dignity of both.

• I’m going to AIPAC’s conference because American democracy not only affirms, but celebrates citizen advocacy, electoral involvement, petitioning and lobbying our elected and appointed officials so they can better represent the insights, convictions and priorities of the people who send them to Washington in the first place. As individuals, we can do only so much, but together, educated and mobilized, we can exercise our constitutional right and empower our representatives to serve us that much better. 

• I’m attending the conference because anti-Semitism, the age-old bigotry against the Jewish people, has once more reared its ugly head. As with countless other hatreds that seem to feed off today’s partisanship and viciousness, we are all threatened when any one of us is marginalized, attacked or disparaged because of their faith, color, gender or sexual orientation. I want to stand with others who will fight anti-Semitism and these resurgent hatreds from a place of mutual empowerment, shared commitment, and simple humanity.

“I’m attending AIPAC’s conference because I’m committed to Zionism, the notion that the Jewish people have the right to national self-determination no less than any other group.”

• I’m participating in AIPAC’s conference because I’m proud of America’s bipartisan commitment to a two-state solution, and I want to join with others who also advocate for that imperative.

• I’m joining with AIPAC’s participants because I’m committed to a broad interfaith coalition that embraces Jews, Christians, Muslims and others who come together in common dignity and a shared commitment to doing better together in the future, recognizing that democracies thrive in the rich diversity of all of their people — conversing, arguing and working it out together.

• I’m going to AIPAC’s conference because I am committed to a big tent. There are many ways to love Israel — from the right, the left, the center, and each has a role to play in something bigger. Just as we don’t connect to the United States as a monolithic entity but forge special connections with Americans with whom we share a common vision, or shared values, or mutual dreams, or a comparable agenda, so, too, we connect with those Israelis who share our vision of the future of Israel. I want to stand with others like me, to make sure that my way of loving Israel continues to have a presence and a voice at this gathering.

• I’m attending AIPAC’s conference because I have family and friends in Israel: college buddies, dear colleagues, activists, entrepreneurs and artists I love and admire, as I admire courageous Palestinian voices for peace and coexistence. My presence there feels like a way of standing with them, standing for them, advocating on their behalf, loving them.

• I’m attending AIPAC’s conference because, deeper than politics and partisanship and policy, I love the land of Israel, its people, its scents and foods and sights. I resonate with its history, my history, and its honor roll of prophets, sages, poets and mystics. I thrill at its modern wrestling into existence and its contemporary struggles to live out the values of its Declaration of Independence. I want Israel to thrive as a beacon of vitality and justice, of innovation, pluralism, diversity, creativity and renewal. 

AIPAC’s annual conference is one of the best places to help advance these values. I will be there, this year, to take a stand.


Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson is Abner and Roslyn Goldstine Dean’s Chair at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies, and vice president at American Jewish University. He will serve as a scholar at AIPAC’s Policy Conference in Washington, D.C.

Why I’m Going to AIPAC This Year Read More »

What’s All the Complaining About?

A waiter comes over to a table where old Jewish women are seated and says, “Excuse me, ladies. Is anything all right?”

Jews have a history of complaining. They complained to Moses about not having bread, meat or water.

But complaining isn’t always a bad thing. If we complain to our politicians, that’s sometimes a good thing. Complaining to your neighbors about late-night noise or a dog barking nonstop is also OK. If you knock on your neighbor’s door ready to kill them because they don’t mow their lawn, that’s not OK. If you’re calm and explain the situation, then most people will understand.

These days, people complain about things that aren’t important. The chimney sweep scene in “Mary Poppins” is racist. Plastic straws are an environmental hazard. And, of course, airplanes are ruining the world. As my mother used to say: “People have too much time on their hands” or “They have nothing better to do than complain.”

Because the United States is a great country and basics such as food, water and shelter are taken care of, we tend to look for things to complain about. You’ll never hear someone in the Sudan grumble about something green growing out of an onion. I come from a long line of complainers. There was constant complaining about family members, food and, of course, the weather. One of my uncles said about the day someone died: “He picked the worst day to drop dead. He couldn’t wait till Tuesday?”

There’s an old saying, “Be careful what you pray for because you might get it.” Jews pray for rain, but then when it rains they complain. “Every time I go on vacation, it never fails to rain.” “Of course it’s raining, I just washed the car.” 

People worry and get others worried. “Driving home from work, I couldn’t see a thing. It’s amazing I wasn’t killed” or “I’m not going to venture out in this.” They even try to persuade others not to go out. “Stay home today. What’s so important that you have to go out in this kind of weather?”

“I had an aunt who spent most of her life trying to figure out where the draft was coming from.”

People tell you the obvious: “If you go out, I guarantee you’ll get soaked.” They bring illness into it: “Are you looking to get pneumonia?” When it rains hard, they make it sound as if they were an assassin’s target: “Oh my gosh, I didn’t think I’d make it from the car to the house.” And, of course, they drag God into it: “A few more days of this and we’ll have to build an ark.”

Then, of course, when it doesn’t rain they get upset: “I wish it would rain so I could shut off the sprinklers.” Then, after only one day of rain: “Enough already. When’s it going to stop?” Heat also drives Jews crazy: “It better cool off soon. My AC bill is a fortune.” And then they talk as if they’ve spent time in hell: “Have you been outside? It’s hotter than hell out there.” They throw in cooking references: “You could fry an egg on the sidewalk.” They bring nonkosher animals into it: “I was sweating like a pig.”

Wind also makes Jews crazy: “I’m afraid a tree is going to come down on the house” or “If we lose power, everything in the refrigerator is going to spoil.” Even going to the beach becomes nonstop terror for Jewish people: “Put on a lot of sunscreen, otherwise, 50 years from now, you’ll regret it.” And let’s not forget sand: “This time, try not bringing half the beach home with you” or “Thanks to you kicking the sand around, I have an extra crunchy tuna sandwich.”

You get the point. It’s endless what a person can complain and worry about. I had an aunt who spent most of her life trying to figure out where the draft was coming from. She’d walk around with her hands up, testing the air.

Complaining, worrying and living in fear may not ruin your life but it certainly will make your life less pleasant. I work very hard at trying not to complain about people, places and things. It’s not easy but I am improving — except, of course, when it comes to complaining about my wife. 

After all, I must have some fun.


Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer.

What’s All the Complaining About? Read More »