“Schmuckboys” Podcast Gets Under the Hood of Jewish Dating Scene 

Listen to the latest episode of Schmuckboys with Jewish Matchmaker, Aleeza Ben Shalom.

If you go to Webster’s Dictionary, you won’t find a definition for the word “Schmuckboys.” But that’s the name of a humorous and insightful podcast about Jewish dating. 

The phrase, coined by Libby Walker when she heard a song of a similar, unprintable name, refers to a guy who is emotionally unavailable, dates many different women and has no desire to get into a serious relationship. Walker, who along with co-host Marla Friedson gets under the hood to find out how the engine of Jewish dating runs, said she hopes the episodes help people. “Schmuckboys,” now under the Journal’s podcast umbrella, doesn’t try to rain on anyone’s parade, but provides good advice and encourages Jewish singles to take accountability.

Walker, who posts comedic videos where she plays Sheryl Cohen a Jewish mom, has more than 50,000 TikTok followers and her videos have received 2.9 million likes. She said some would be afraid to start a Jewish dating podcast, either due to lack of knowledge or a concern it might hurt their chances of finding their soulmate. Walker said she wanted to normalize that “Jewish dating is not easy but everyone has their own journey.”

The Manhattan resident, who has a boyfriend, said there are a number of issues Jewish daters face. “I think the biggest problem is communication, people overanalyze things and are afraid to ask if the relationship is exclusive or not,” Walker told the Journal. Another factor is parents, who at every simcha will ask singles what is wrong with them, why they are not married, and sometimes tell them they are too picky.

“Obviously parents want the best for their children,” Walker said. “I think they just don’t realize the pressure they sometimes cause can be really stressful to their kids, who will get into relationships because they feel like they have to.”

A Forbes article called Walker a modern Mrs. Maisel. 

Friedson recently moved from New York to Los Angeles, working as an Associate Producer in TV by day and editing the podcast by night. She also often uses her online platform to share and discuss issues related to fighting antisemitism. The Schmuckboys duo now being bi-coastal has helped them expand their audience and guests. Friedson, who is single, said one big piece of advice is a tough pill to swallow.  “Don’t take rejection too personally,” she told the Journal. “I’ve gone out with guys who are genuinely great guys and there was nothing wrong with them, but they just didn’t match my vibe.”

Asked if it’s true or a myth that Jewish women like a guy with a good sense of humor, she said in her case it is true and she believes also for others. “We’ve been through so much trauma in our history that we can’t help but joke around,” she said. “It’s one of the most important things to me.”

Jewish comedian Eric Neumann was a guest on a recent show. He said he has never been on a dating app and is in a relationship with another comic. Neumann, who has appeared on “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” told Walker and Friedson “I always went for it,” when asking women out so he experienced more rejection than other guys.  He was unsuccessful in an attempt to score a date with a woman he met when he went to get his COVID vaccine. 

San Diego resident Aaron Raimi and Los Angeles resident Daniel Ebrahimi, co-founders of MeetJew, an online group with more than 60,000 members created during the pandemic that is helping to make Jewish matches, also appeared on the podcast. They advised people for a first message to keep it lighthearted and be humorous to stand out and played “Cute or Cringe.” Flowers on a first date and a date eating the other person’s food on a date, both got a “Cringe” from Raimi and Ebrahimi.

Actor Jonah Platt spoke about how his girlfriend (and now wife) converted to Judaism. “I felt like a lot of Jewish people were afraid to confront the anti-Israel, anti-Jewish stuff that was out there,” he said, adding that it’s often either because they weren’t educated enough or a fear of supporting Israel would hurt their careers.

Talia Lichtstein,  a blunt-talking New Yorker who has more than 1.1 million TikTok followers, told Walker and Friedson that she used to be someone who “cared a lot about how I was perceived,” adding that some said she would not be able to get a large social media following and they were wrong. Some men she dates are afraid she will mention them specifically, but she uses nicknames and in no way identifies them in a way people could recognize it’s them. She still asks for permission to tell stories. 

She added that people often film without permission. ‘You could get caught picking your nose on the subway and it’s viral the next day,” Lichtstein said. Her time at Camp Hess Kramer in Malibu helped give her a sense of Jewish pride. She said those who are Jewish and have a large social media platform should not only address antisemitism but speak about Judaism’s positive aspects. “Say you love being Jewish,” she said.

Kevin Nahai, a life coach who focuses on dating and relationships, was an especially intriguing guest. He explained that coming from a Persian Jewish family, there are certain expectations and a life coach might be out of the norm, but he worked hard to be good at his job. He said his clients complain of ghosting or being used for sex or unrealistic expectations. A problem he sees is people picking the wrong partners who don’t treat them well. “When you don’t treat yourself with self-respect, then you allow other people to treat you poorly, you allow your time to be wasted, you have standards in your head that you don’t actually live  by, so then you feel anxious and you feel ashamed, you behave in ways that you wouldn’t encourage your best friend, or your sister or your brother to behave in, you let other people take advantage of, you, and a whole bunch of issue ensue.” As for those who say Persian Jews will only marry Persian Jews or Syrian Jews will only marry Syrian Jews, he said as long as families understand each other, it can work.

Both hosts said their dream guest would be Adam Sandler because he is talented and humble.

Walker, who has worked at Camp Ramah in Nyack and in the Berkshires, said she’s already gotten positive feedback on how there was a need for a show that tackles Jewish dating. “Marla and I are really passionate about giving people good advice and addressing issues they are thinking about and also giving them a show that is entertaining to listen to,” Walker said. “I like to be funny, but on a serious level, we want to help people live their best lives and have the best relationships they can.”