Before my husband Daniel and I had children, we’d travel the world, visiting places like Israel, Morocco, Scotland, Spain and Italy. On our honeymoon, we went to 10 places, including seven different countries, and we thoroughly documented the entire trip on social media.
Nowadays, nobody knows when Daniel, our two daughters and I are on vacation except for family members and close friends. I never post about my travels on social media anymore.
I stopped posting vacation photos for a number of reasons. First of all, safety. You never know who is looking at your photos, even if you have a “private” profile (we all know social media is never truly private). If someone discovers you aren’t home, they could break in. I know that sounds paranoid, but I like to be extra careful. For that same reason, I also don’t take Ubers to and from the airport anymore; I hire a private company within the Jewish community, since I trust the person who runs it as well as his fleet of professional drivers.
Not posting our family vacation photos makes the trip even more special, because we can keep it just between us. These are our memories we have together and will never forget.
The second reason I stopped posting vacation photos on social media was privacy. I write very personal essays about my life and share my thoughts on social media every single day. I post pictures all the time when I’m home in Los Angeles. However, not posting our family vacation photos makes the trip even more special, because we can keep it just between us. These are our memories we have together and will never forget. When we want to look back at our vacation, we can just flip through our physical photo album or see the photos on our digital frame. We don’t have to log onto Facebook or Instagram to remember the fun we had.
Years ago, when I’d post travel photos, people would come up to me and say, “Wow, you travel a lot” or “You’re going on vacation again?” I could hear in their tone that they were judging me. I knew it because I was guilty of it too. The first thought that usually comes to my mind when I see someone else’s vacation photos is, “How can they afford that? That’s so expensive.” Admittedly, I also become envious, which is something I have to work on. But it’s hard not to feel this way, especially if I’m working and haven’t had a vacation all year.
The truth is that I don’t want people seeing me in that light. They only see the good parts of the vacation on social media and have no idea what’s going on in real life. Do they see me schlepping my bags through the airport while I break into a cold sweat, or do they know I’m sitting through a four-hour long timeshare presentation just to get a free hotel room? Do they know I stay up late working on vacation, even when I’m incredibly jet-lagged, because I can’t afford to take so much time off?
Nope. They think everything is peachy keen, and that I’m some well-to-do traveler with not a care in the world. I don’t want anyone seeing me that way, judging me or being envious of my life.
When I go on a vacation with my family now, I don’t really care if my makeup looks perfect or if I’m wearing a perfectly coordinated outfit for a photo. I don’t have to think about the cute caption I’m going to put underneath a picture or how many likes my photo is going to get.
Instead, I can just take some much-needed time off building precious memories with my husband and daughters. I can focus on relaxing, making the trip exciting for my daughters and exploring somewhere fascinating and new. I enjoy not being on social media the whole time, which distracts me from fulfilling my real goal of bonding with my husband and kids.
I know that when I get back, social media will be there waiting for me. But I won’t be tempted to post those photos of my family and I. No, those will stay just between us.
Have a good vacation memory to share? Email me: Kylieol@JewishJournal.com
Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.
