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A Moment in Time: Stepping In or Holding Back

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August 25, 2022

Dear all,

When we were at the park with the kids recently, they found themselves tangled in a web at the playground.

“Daddy! Abba!” (I am “daddy” and Ron is “abba”) they called out to us. Our instinct was to step in and hold their hands. But we held back and instead told them “Look around you and see if you can figure it out.”

It’s hard to know in any moment in time when to step in and when to hold back. I suppose the older they get, the more we will face this decision.

Judaism teaches that parents are to teach their children to swim (Talmud Kiddushin 29a). The metaphor therein is that parents must ensure their children know how to navigate difficult circumstances.

Maya and Eli figured it out. But there were a couple of scraped knees along the way. And while our hearts may have skipped a couple of beats, our holding back enabled them to step in and step up. I suppose this is how life works.

Someone let me know how this will feel when they learn to ride a bike, go to camp, drive a car, have a first love, leave home….  We may need someone to come and hold OUR hands when those times come!

With love and shalom

Rabbi Zach Shapiro

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