fbpx

Study: Killing kittens cuts cancer risk

[additional-authors]
April 16, 2008

Gentlemen, you may have heard that every time you pleasure yourself sexually, God kills a kitten. The guys from XXXChurch remind us of this reality—based on the biblical story of Onan, whom God deemed wicked for “spilling his seed” so his brother’s widow would not become pregnant— in the PSA above.

What then to make of this report from the BBC that masturbation “may” cut cancer risks?

Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. … Dr Giles said fewer ejaculations may mean the carcinogens build up.

“It’s a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them.”

A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to “flush out” carcinogens, reduce a woman’s risk of the disease, New Scientist reports.

Another theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce prostate glands to mature fully, making them less susceptible to carcinogens.

To be sure, the next study on this topic will likely report auto-stimulation increases the risk of heart disease. Circumcision, for example, is a practice that, though conversely biblical, has been found to reduce the transmission of AIDS in Africa and to have little medical benefit; it depends on who performs the study.

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

Chicken With a Lemony Twist

The huge plus is that a super, simple sheet pan recipe results in a dish that looks so impressive and sophisticated.

Troubled Marriage

As Netanyahu visits Trump, Israelis look to Washington with wearier eyes. What does the future hold for the relationship?

Tu b’Av and Redemption

On Tu b’Av, the full moon rises. The same people who mourned begin to dance. The same nation who splintered begins to seek one another out again in the vineyards, in the fields, in the moments of vulnerability and return.

Mission to the Jewish Community of Ethiopia

I didn’t even know that there were still Jews left in Ethiopia, but what I encountered there firsthand was a thriving Jewish community, with some very significant struggles.

The Myth of the Marxist Mishpacha

The Jewish immigrant who organized for a 40-hour work week did not do so to give his grandchildren a politics that asks them to feel guilty for their education, their professional success or their attachment to a Jewish state.

Framing the Faith of Maimonides

In this enriching new edition of the classic code of Jewish law, readers can delve deeply into the mind of Maimonides, from his analysis of the commandments to the controversies that have accompanied his writings, offering a window into the wisdom of one of our tradition’s preeminent thinkers.

Finding Communal Comfort

In the book of Isaiah, God calls the prophet to comfort the Jewish people. But we know this is really something we must do for one another.

Leaving Behind a Better World

The America my generation seems to be leaving our kids and grandkids is not safer nor saner, and it breaks my heart.

Was Our Golden Age Fool’s Gold?

We didn’t think that we were living in a “Golden Age,” because it did not occur to us that what we were experiencing was only a temporary respite from centuries of animosity and intolerance.

Genocide Shmenocide

Since Israel evacuated Gaza in 2005, the Palestinian population has grown from 1.3 million to 2.1 million. In the West Bank, it has grown from 2.4 million to 3.4 million. If the Israelis were hellbent on committing genocide, it’s one of the most epic failures in military history.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.