When we launched Project Reclaim at YULA High School, we really did not know what to expect.
The idea was inspired by senior Talya Ferszt and it was ambitious: invite our students — completely voluntarily — to remove social media from their phones, install meaningful filtering and experiment with reclaiming something increasingly precious: their attention. Reclaim time. Reclaim focus. Reclaim relationships. Reclaim Torah. Ultimately, reclaim a little more control over their own lives.
From the beginning, we made a deliberate decision about how we would approach it: positive, guilt-free and without judgment.
We did not tell students that social media was evil. We did not shame students who chose not to participate. In fact, we celebrated students who seriously considered the challenge and decided they were not ready — yet. We wanted teenagers to think about their relationship with technology, perhaps for the first time, and to feel empowered to make a choice rather than lectured into one.
And yes, we offered some incredible prizes.
That was intentional. Social media companies spend billions of dollars designing products to capture and retain our attention. Their platforms offer likes, streaks, notifications and an endless stream of rewards to keep us coming back. We decided there was nothing wrong with using some positive motivation of our own to encourage teenagers to try something genuinely difficult. The prizes might get a student through the door. We hoped the experience would give them a reason to stay.
Still, we had no idea what would happen. Would 100 students sign up? Fifty? Twenty? Zero? Then something remarkable happened. Two hundred and twenty teenagers signed up for the first Project Reclaim challenge. But the number is no longer the story. The stories are.
Students began telling us about what they were doing with time they did not realize they had. Some took on additional chavruta learning. Others started small businesses or rediscovered hobbies. Students talked about sleeping better, being more present and having longer conversations.
And some comments surprised me more than almost any other: they told us they actually enjoyed being bored. Think about that.
For perhaps the first time in years, an empty moment did not immediately need to be filled. There was no scroll, video, notification or feed waiting to consume it. They could sit. Think. Talk. Create. Learn. Or simply be bored.
One father shared something else that has stayed with me. He thanked YULA because his children had started coming into his room late at night just to talk. Just to talk.
There was no special family program. No lecture about relationships. No new curriculum. We created an exciting challenge, and teenagers saw the value of trying. A phone was put away, space was created and something better filled that space.
That is when I realized that perhaps we had accomplished something bigger than moving the needle. Our students have changed the conversation. Students were talking about social media differently. Parents were talking about it. Teachers were talking about it. Teenagers who participated were talking with teenagers who did not. Instead of the conversation being only, “Which apps do you have?” it became, “What would your life look like without them?” Instead of assuming constant connectivity was simply an unavoidable part of being a teenager, students were asking whether there might be another way.
I don’t know where Project Reclaim will ultimately go. I don’t know how many students will complete every level (there are three levels). We intentionally designed the program so that trying itself matters. A student who makes it 30 days and then decides to return to social media has not failed. That student has learned something about himself or herself that most of us have never taken the time to discover.
But I know we have changed the conversation. And now that raises a much harder question:
What are we, the adults, going to do with it?
Schools can ban phones. We can require filters. We can block websites and establish policies. Those things matter tremendously, and schools should not be afraid to lead. But there is a ceiling to what schools can accomplish if families are not part of the journey.
Consider where society itself is heading. Meta and other technology companies increasingly face lawsuits, legislation and government efforts aimed at restricting or changing how social media platforms interact with minors. Courts and lawmakers are wrestling with questions about addictive design, age protections and what responsibility these enormously powerful companies have toward children.
If we are asking courts, governments and technology companies to create stronger boundaries for our children, what boundaries are we willing to create as parents? That is not an accusation. It is a question I ask myself too.
Parenting in this generation is extraordinarily difficult. None of us grew up with this. There is no playbook for raising children with devices that provide instant access to nearly every friend, video, news story, distraction and form of entertainment imaginable. We are figuring it out in real time.
But our children are watching us figure it out.
What do they see?
Do they see us checking our phones at dinner? Responding to an email while they are talking to us? Reaching for our devices every time there is a quiet moment? Do they hear us telling them that they spend too much time on their phones while ours is sitting face-up next to us?
This is not meant to make anyone feel guilty. Project Reclaim was guilt-free for our students, and this conversation needs to be guilt-free for adults too. Especially, when I embarrassingly struggle with the same.
It is an invitation to reflect.
Maybe we reclaim dinner. Maybe we create a phone-free hour each evening. Maybe we wait longer before giving our younger children smartphones or access to social media. Maybe groups of parents make decisions together so that no child feels like the only one without an app. Maybe we begin talking about these issues in elementary school, before we are trying to undo habits that have already become deeply ingrained.
Most importantly, maybe we stop viewing this exclusively as a children’s problem.
One of the most powerful lessons of Project Reclaim has been that culture can change when people are willing to change together. One teenager deleting social media can feel isolated. Two hundred and twenty teenagers doing it together feels entirely different.
Imagine what could happen if parents joined them.
One of the most powerful lessons of Project Reclaim has been that culture can change when people are willing to change together. One teenager deleting social media can feel isolated. Two hundred and twenty teenagers doing it together feels entirely different. Imagine what could happen if parents joined them.
This is not a movement against technology. Technology is extraordinary, valuable and here to stay. Nor is this about judging families who draw their lines differently.
It is about intentionality.
Who owns our attention? Who decides how we spend our time? Are we choosing when to engage with technology, or has technology slowly begun choosing for us?
For years, adults have been asking what social media is doing to our children.
Project Reclaim has made me wonder whether we have been asking only half the question.
Perhaps we also need to ask what it is doing to us.
Two hundred and twenty teenagers were willing to find out what life might feel like with a little less noise, a little less scrolling, and even a little more boredom.
They answered the challenge.
Now it is our turn to reclaim something too.
Rabbi Arye Sufrin is Head of School at YULA.
