Catching Up With a Convert in Progress

Ever wonder how people who were not born into Jewish families find Judaism? As a middle-aged single man, Steve (who would rather remain anonymous until his conversion is complete), is pretty sure his first encounter was not accidental.

One Saturday morning in 2019, still mourning the death of his Polish-Ukrainian mother a year earlier, he took a walk through his Hollywood-adjacent neighborhood in search of relief. He encountered a large stately building that he thought might have been a synagogue. It was Hollywood Temple Beth El.

“I think God brought me there for a reason.” – Steve

Keep in mind that Steve was born with a strong streak of shyness. “I think God brought me there for a reason,” he said. “It was no mistake when I walked through the door for the first time. A man named Simon met me at the door. I tried to stutter something out. When he said ‘We’ve been waiting for you,’ all I could do was laugh.” Simon invited Steve to step inside.  

“I had never been in a synagogue,” Steve said.  “I didn’t know what to do. But when everybody stood up, I did. And when they sat down, I did, too. I was just trying to get the gist of it.”

Steve described how he happened upon the 100-year-old shul. “When I moved into the neighborhood, I noticed there were a lot of synagogues,” he said. “I wanted to go to one. This was the first one I saw. It jumped out at me. I didn’t know anything about Judaism.  I was born Methodist.”

Why a synagogue? “It just called me,” he said.

The quiet but emotional Steve, then in his early 40s, needed (and sought) relief from the pain of his mother’s death. 

“I did not want to go into a church,” he said. “I felt I needed something deeper. I really don’t know what it was. 

At Hollywood Temple Beth El, he had an emotional response. “I started crying,” he said. “I had no idea why.” After three years of fairly regular attendance at the synagogue – though he moves around – Steve said, “I dearly love these people.”

In the beginning, a clash of emotions danced across his mind. “Am I crazy?” he would ask himself. When he was walking home after his first Shabbat service, he passed a rabbi sitting on a bench. Steve recalled the rabbi’s opening question: “What is your Jewish name?”  “I told him that I am not Jewish,” Steve said. “He questioned me. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. He said, ’I think you are Jewish.’” Steve said the persistent rabbi kept questioning him. “I kept saying ‘I don’t have a Jewish name’ and he kept saying ‘I think you are Jewish.’ I said ‘No, trust me. I am Italian.’ It was a funny conversation.”

As one who had grown up as a churchgoing Christian, Steve said that he “had an emotional response to reading more and more of the Torah. And here I am three years later.”

Reflecting later, Steve said, “I thought maybe I was meant to go back to the synagogue.” As one who had grown up as a churchgoing Christian, Steve said that he “had an emotional response to reading more and more of the Torah. And here I am three years later.”

In his terminology, though, “I still haven’t officially converted,” he said. He identifies two reasons.  “If I do convert, it will be Orthodox, and because my mom was Ukrainian-Polish, I had this thought that if I searched for her, maybe I will find Jewish ancestry and I will not have to convert,” he said.

Jewishly speaking, Steve’s footsteps have weaved rather than followed a straight line. “I have gone from Conservative (Hollywood Temple Beth El) to Chabad, where they have been super nice,” he said. “I have been to the Shul on the Beach in Venice,” where he encountered Rabbi Shalom Rubanowitz, who has been trying to deepen Steve’s well of knowledge. In addition to Shabbat services and informal Torah study, Steve is a student in Rubanowitz’s online parsha (weekly Torah portion) class. He also learns with Rabbi Joshua Katzan of Mishkon Tephilo in Venice. Elizabeth Danziger is in the same Parsha class. For decades, she, her husband Alan and their children have been members of the Shul on the Beach (also known as the Pacific Jewish Center). She said that Steve is “a sincere seeker, perhaps needing a bit more grounding and self-reflection, but definitely committed to his community and to improving his connection to Judaism.”

Steve described Shabbat with Chabad as “more intense, more traditional than my Conservative experiences. I have come to realize that traditional is what I am. In my soul, I am a much more traditional Orthodox person. When I convert, I think I will be Orthodox.”

The instinctively reticent Steve laughed aloud when he was asked if anyone in the community has been urging him to convert. “On the contrary, people have told me not to, and that has made me want to convert even more,” he said. “They tell me, ‘If you want to come for services, fine. We will give you cholent. Be comfortable.’”

He called it a complete reversal of his lifetime experiences. “In the world of Christianity,” Steve said, “they try to convert everybody. This is such a breath of fresh air.”

A decade ago, Steve moved here from the Jersey community near Lakewood, where he attended Methodist services. Drawn here originally by an opportunity to work in the film industry, he is now employed by a tech company, in charge of facility operations. Steve said he prays to his mother “all the time.” He is confident she would approve of him being on a path to Judaism. “She wanted me to be religious but she didn’t push it,” he said. 

Where is he in his journey?

“I believe wholeheartedly in the Jewish faith,” Steve said. “I just haven’t converted yet.”