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When Life Gives Us New Eyes

I’m looking back at my life of 2020 and realizing that I’ve been given new eyes.
[additional-authors]
September 15, 2020

Everyone has their own way of describing the madness of 2020. Some focus on the darkness; others on the silver linings. Some find it easier to look away and try “business as usual.” Others wallow in melancholy or lethargy. Some rise up every morning to take on the world. At some point or another, most of us have done all of the above.

In trying to describe the year to a friend recently, I texted something odd: “Life is looking at me with different eyes.”

I think what I meant is that I’m looking back at my life of 2020 and realizing that I’ve been given new eyes.

Before the quarantine, my eyes saw a different world. For one thing, I would see our community often and in person. The lockdown changed all that. Suddenly, there were no more events. There were no more drives to hotel entrances, private homes, restaurants or airports. My beloved community had shut down.

Instead of noisy crowds, my eyes were seeing quiet trees. 

Back in March, when we thought the lockdown would be short and temporary, it felt scary but manageable. It’s only when the quarantine endured, week after week, month after month, from Passover to the High Holy Days to who knows when, that 2020 became monumental.

This new life of ours doesn’t feel temporary at all right now. It feels more…indefinite. Everything that is sturdy and physical seems up in the air– schools, synagogues, museums, gyms, restaurants, even our offices.

The one thing we know for sure is that our lives have changed and our eyes are seeing different things.

What are those things?

For those who have seen friends or family members perish from the coronavirus, or who have fallen ill, or who have lost their livelihoods, their eyes have seen devastation, a pain they could never have foreseen.

For those lucky enough not to be sick or financially crushed, there is the luxury of contemplating what our new quarantine lives have revealed.

We often talk about making changes to our lives. This year, however, the change has come to us. Our new lives have been delivered to our doorsteps like those packages with that Amazon smile, whether we ordered them or not.

We’ve been forced to see new things, or at least see old things in a new way. 

The madness of 2020 has hit everyone differently, but we’ve all been given “new eyes” to see the things that matter most.

In my case, in addition to the trees on my daily walks and the computer screen that owns me because of my profession, I’m seeing my own life– a life so drastically different in 2020 I feel compelled to reflect on it.

I wonder: Is this new life a good thing or a bad thing or neither? Is it scary or exciting or both? What is it showing me that I need to see?

Maybe it’s divine intervention that the High Holy Days arrive just as many of us are exhausted with these anxiety-ridden times. Rosh Hashanah is our moment to take a timeout from the anxiety and quietly look inward; to confront our mistakes and commit to not repeating them; to grow by renewing ourselves. 

Yes, the concrete monuments of our world have been flattened by COVID-19, but Rosh Hashanah reminds us that the personal, the communal and the spiritual are equally essential. They have become our main focus in a year of turmoil.

The long, slow quarantine life has prepared us to focus on these essentials and examine our lives with sobriety and honesty. What are we seeing with our new eyes?

Are we seeing the pain of those we’ve never met, and those closest to us? Are we seeing the good in those who may not share our views? Are we seeing our communities even when we can’t physically be with them? Are we seeing the eyes of our ancestors who modelled perseverance? Are we seeing our own flaws even when we can’t stand to look?

The madness of 2020 has hit everyone differently, but we’ve all been given “new eyes” to see the things that matter most. May this new vision nurture our resiliency so we can all see a brighter 5781.

Shana Tova.

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