About a year ago, I had the idea of taking each of my three boys on separate vacations—two down, one to go. Aside from marrying the lady who popped out these three boys, this was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
My 33-year-old son Jacob and I decided to go on a baseball stadium trip over the July Fourth holiday. Everywhere we went, the roadways were lined with American flags. Can you get more American than baseball, beer, and July Fourth? Just an aside: I don’t drink alcohol and don’t watch sports. But these father-son trips are not about what I like or don’t like; they’re about spending precious time with the people I love the most.
This is the deal. I pay for everything, and they show up. Someone asked if keeping the conversation going was hard. Nope. My boys are all talkers and interesting ones at that.
On day one, we flew from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh. We rented a Jeep at Pittsburgh International and drove to a downtown Hilton. While unpacking, Jacob said, “Hey, Dad, I decided not to annoy you on this trip.” I said, “Me too.” After 33 years, we have become professionals at annoying each other. Before showering, Jacob made me promise not to throw ice water over the curtain. That’s the type of annoying stuff we’re famous for.
That night, before grabbing grub, we walked about a mile to a Sports Bar where we played table shuffleboard. Even though he beat me fair and square, I accused him of cheating. That might classify as me being annoying.
The following day, since the Pirates played a night game, we did some local touring during the day. The first stop was Bicycle Heaven, the world’s largest bicycle museum. Looking at thousands of bikes reminded me of Jacobs’s first three-wheeler and how I ran behind to ensure he didn’t fall. Then we rode the Duquesne Incline, built in 1877, and walked up hills so steep that the city put in handrails. Huffing and puffing yet doing it, I was proud I didn’t need an ambulance waiting for me up top.
That night, we walked to beautiful PNC Park on the Allegheny River. It wasn’t just the second-row seats that made it great. It was sitting beside my boy, just father and son watching baseball. As I looked around, I saw many fathers and sons.
It wasn’t just the second-row seats that made it great. It was sitting beside my boy, just father and son watching baseball.
We were off to Toledo, Ohio, the following day to see the Toledo Mud Hens. But first, we stopped in Canton, Ohio, at the Football Hall of Fame. The last game I watched was in 1968 when Joe Namath played. But it didn’t matter; I was with my boy.
After the Mud Hens’ game at Fifth Third Field, there were fireworks and a laser “Happy Birthday America” show. Over 10,000 sang “God Bless America.” I love my country.
The morning sun is back up. Our next stop is Chicago. Driving, I approached a toll plaza doing 40 when my son yelled, “Dad, stop, stop, stop.” Jamming the brakes, I stopped inches away from ripping the wooden arm off the toll booth. He quickly called his mother (my wife) to tell her they needed to take my license away. That was annoying.
Once we got to Chicago, we rode the Red Line, like locals, to Wrigley Field. I was proud when my son offered his seat to people he thought might need it.
The first ball was tossed out by a ten-year-old girl who beat cancer. I cried as 41,000 people cheered. You could tell by how tightly her mother and father hugged her how close they came to losing her.
I already knew my kids loved me, but I didn’t think they’d be as excited as they were to go on a trip with me.
I let Jacob lead the way. Even though this trip was for both of us, I wanted to be sure Jacob did everything he wanted to do. That meant enduring horrible Electronic/Country music for four straight days. But even electronic music sounds good when you love the person you’re with. This ended up being one of the great trips of my life.
They say money can’t buy happiness. That’s not true. I paid for everything except two bags of peanuts and could not be happier.
Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the “We Think It’s Funny” podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”
