On Doing Shabbat Right

Observing Shabbat means going radically against today’s culture. For 25 hours each week, you’re putting down your cell phone, leaving your car in the driveway and not worrying about money or work. Instead, you’re connecting with your family, yourself, your community and God. You’re taking one day every week to focus on the spiritual rather than the practical. It’s beautiful.

Even though I keep Shabbat, it wasn’t always easy for me. Why? I didn’t do it right. 

I’m an Orthodox convert to Judaism. When I was learning about some of the mitzvot, my attitude at first was, “Wow, I’m going to have to give up so much.” I didn’t see that subtraction could make way for much better things. 

Out of all of the new mitzvot I had to take on, hands down, the hardest for me was observing Shabbat.

Growing up, I loved going to the mall and movies on Friday night, so I missed doing that. I enjoyed Shabbat dinner, but I was sad I couldn’t go out afterwards. 

On Saturdays, I’d look at everyone driving and think about the fun they were having. Were they going to the beach? Heading up to the mountains for a hike? Having friends over for a BBQ? 

And what about work? I was learning that if we didn’t work for one day a week, God would reward us financially. How could that be? If I wasn’t working, how could I earn more money? 

I also struggled with not checking my cell phone. I was afraid I was going to miss some important pieces of news or that my family would call me in an emergency. I was addicted to social media and found it hard to stop checking it. 

It also took me a long time to fully embrace the magic of Shabbat and to get it right. Today, now that I’m married and have two young daughters and work nine-hour days during the week, I appreciate it more than ever. 

When I meet people who don’t enjoy doing Shabbat, I must think it’s just because they’re not doing it right, like I used to. To me, Shabbat is like ice cream. Who doesn’t like ice cream? You just have to find the right flavor.

If you’re struggling to keep Shabbat, here are some ways in which I make it enjoyable. 

First, make or buy food that you love, even if it costs more than you anticipated. The money you spend to make Shabbat special will be returned to you tenfold. 

It’s important to think about Shabbat for at least a few minutes every single day. Plan ahead of time. Do you have to buy a new tablecloth? Do you need to make challah on Thursday night? 

Shabbat is the focal point of the week. It recharges us. I always keep it in the back of my mind so that by the time Shabbat rolls around, I know it’s going to be a special day. 

Of course, being social on Shabbat is incredibly important. Find a synagogue you love, even if you have to hop around and try different ones. The great thing about L.A.f is there are so many wonderful choices. 

While I don’t expect everyone to be as observant as I am, taking a break from driving and using my phone are so refreshing, and I highly recommend trying it. When you do that, time slows down. You’re less busy and less stressed. You can have conversations with family members and friends – and you’re not constantly distracted. Stepping away from the depressing news for a day is also good for your psyche. 

There are activities you can do on Shabbat that you may not get a chance to do during the week, like play basketball or read a good book, cuddle with your spouse or kids or take a long walk in nature. As I learned, you’re adding to your life – not subtracting. 

I also realized that what I was taught about work and money was 100% correct. The more observant about Shabbat that I’ve become, the more money I’ve made. That’s no coincidence. 

I hope that you can fully experience the majesty and holiness of Shabbat. It’s changed my life in incredibly positive ways, making me much more joyful and spiritually connected. Everyone should get the opportunity and privilege to bask in the beauty of the day. You included. 

I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to drop me a line (not on Shabbat, of course). Kylieol@JewishJournal.com.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.