The Inner Pharaoh and the Truth Within

Torah Portion Bo 2023 (adapted from previous versions)

The Inner Pharaoh and Truth Within

(My grateful acknowledgement to my recent conversation with Craig Harper of “The You Project” podcast that inspired some of these thoughts.)

The Jewish tradition loves serious play with words. This week’s Torah portion begins with God’s telling Moses, “Go to Pharaoh” (Exodus 10:1). Moses is to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. The problem is, the Hebrew for “Go to Pharaoh” is “Bo el Paro,” which literally means “come to Pharaoh,” not “go to Pharaoh.”

Instead of explaining away this grammatical oddity, the spiritual tradition focuses on the literal meaning of “come to Pharaoh.” “Come to Pharaoh” is understood as God saying to Moses, “Come to me, but you’ll have to go through Pharaoh.”

Pharaoh is interpreted, from a spiritual perspective, as referring to those forces within that compel us to act in destructive ways (the Yetzer HaRa), destructive to our well-being and/or the well-being of others. Some of these forces are cynicism, anxiety, guilt, anger, the drive to criticize, self-doubt, confusion, depression, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, and inauthentic needs of ourselves and others.

One other thing that the Inner Pharaoh does is hide these forces from us. To find God, or the Authentic Self, we will have to go through a force that resists self-knowledge.

There is a holy spark within us that has us know that there is well-being to be had, but we just don’t know how to achieve it. Sometimes, the lie of resistance tells us the good is unachievable because we are not worthy or able. Sometimes, the lie of resistance tells us that the good is unachievable because the world around us is so bad. The Inner Pharaoh is a liar. There is some good that can be done and nothing in the world can stop us from doing some good, even if only within.

We can’t just step around the Inner Pharaoh, though. He will ambush us.

“Face your inner destructiveness” sounds like a spiritual platitude. People nod and say, “Sure, obviously!” and then allow those destructive forces to take over their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. People say, “I have this bad habit of . . .” or “I couldn’t help but get . . .” (fill in the blank – angry, self-attacking, accusatory, defensive, hopeless, fed up, etc.). I agree. Our inner destructiveness can take us over. At times, we can’t help giving in to the forces of the unconscious ego self.

To fight the Inner Pharoah, we must train. For beginners – don’t talk, text, or write an email until you calm down, for example. When inner voices attack you, talk to them, quiet them down, and allot them only five minutes a day to tell you how bad you are. A pre-set five minutes at a time convenient for you. We can hear ourselves when a negative script takes over. Stop saying those lines. Write a better play. Rehearse your way out of Pharaoh’s incessant grip. You can be helped, by you.

The inner destructiveness has many ploys not to allow you to help yourself find and live your Authentic Self. A common one is to “rationalize.” To rationalize is just about the opposite of being rational. To rationalize means to give a reason for doing something when there is actually something else that is the real cause or motivation. To rationalize is to pretend to be rational. We create narratives to make acceptable our destructive thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and therefore our speech and behavior. We hide from the truth.

That is the Inner Pharaoh’s game, hide the truth of the matter. I learned a basic tool of finding ‘truth of the matter’ when I studied communication theory at the University of Maryland (the Okinawa campus) in 1974. This tool, called “The Johari Window Model,” is still taught today.

https://www.communicationtheory.org/the-johari-window-model/

The model was created by two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, in 1955 (hence “Jo-Hari”). The model helps us to discover aspects of ourselves that others know but we don’t, to name parts of the self that we hide from others, and to reveal to ourselves parts of the self that are unknown both to others and to the conscious self. We can become more known to ourselves through our intersubjective life with others as well as our own inner work.

Self-knowledge is the beginning of the path to redemption. The Inner Pharaoh does not want us to truly know ourselves, because if we did, we might change our lives and escape the exile and slavery of Egypt. The path to redemption is to acknowledge our inner turmoil and find a way to the path of truth, virtue, and wisdom. Perhaps you never discovered the path. Perhaps something pushed you off the path. That happens. The main thing is to dust yourself off and get on, or back on the path and not to pretend that your old path to perdition is a new path to truth.

“The Inner Pharaoh” always has a very persuasive story to keep up from getting back on the path. One strategy the Inner Pharaoh uses is to have us ask pointless “why” questions, such as “Why am I this way?” A better question is, “If I am thus, how can I become that?” (Pointing to the self that we are to become, just beyond the horizon.)

There is a famous saying in the Talmud (Baba Batra 60b), “K’shote atzmecha techilah – achar kakh k’shot acherim.” The Aramaic word “k’shote” has two meanings: truth, and also beauty. One meaning of this aphorism might be, “Beautify yourself (do the right thing), afterwards demand that others be beautiful.” Another meaning might be “Be truthful with yourself, after that you can demand the truth from others.”

Both meanings are intertwined. I think that most of us want to do the right and beautiful thing, but we can’t until we honestly seek out what is going on inside of us as we discover the True Self. Finding the truth is difficult; the Inner Pharaoh stands in the way.

When the Inner Pharaoh tries to push you around, start by pushing back.