Want more Yenta? Visit “>The Sakyong , Jamgon Mipham Rinpoche once spoke of how the act of declaring your love is a moment once-removed. “I Love You” is really a redundant expression. When love is real and alive and vibrant it lives between two people in their eyes, their touch and in their actions. To then state it is an afterthought to the reality of the love that was already alive between you to begin with.
One way to cope with the fear that it is too soon, is to express your love rather than declare it. A declaration without the backup actions will scare anyone away. That, and the human heart and mind can only handle so much adoration in one dose.
4) Vulnerability
Saying “I Love You” is making yourself extremely vulnerable, exposing all of yourself. We build trust and intimacy so it is strong enough to hold the intensity of really loving and seeing each other. If the web isn’t strong enough, we lose that foundation and find a closed-door in our face.
I once fell in love and professed my feelings so emphatically and intensely that the boy ran away for weeks before secretly admitting his mutual adoration. It was too much, like love vomited all over him, like a basket overflowing and his arms couldn’t hold it. Give the person you love enough love that they can hold it, see it, feel it, touch it and know it. If love is somehow palpable, held, breathing and doled out in digestible doses then your loved one will better be able to meet you.
Ways to Gauge the Moment and Properly Profess
1) Evaluate Intention
The questions you want to ask yourself before surrendering your heart in the name of a four letter word include: What do you lose if you say I love you? Would it compromise anything, the sex, the honesty? Do I love this person, or lust and hunger for them? Am I professing to pin them down, or lift them up? Can your relationship stomach this admission, even if it is true? Make sure this is love, not just hunger for sex and security, etc.
2) Actions Speak Louder Than Words
So say I love you when you feel like it, but be sure your actions back up your words, and that your words aren’t some way of cornering someone into commitment. That isn’t love, that is ownership. Because you want it to be true, that simple truth needs to resonate with your behavior. If you give your partner a cold shoulder most of the time and suddenly spout loving words, they might coil in fear. Don’t just say it, do it. Saying I love you without action, is a lie.
For help, “>a list of 100 languages in which to say “I Love You.”
Click here for a “>The Different Ways Men Say “I Love You.”
Ask Yenta! E-mail a question to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com directly, or using “>
When it comes to religious schools, funding for services for students with disabilities is blocked – even though it should be permitted under the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Benny is a one-man show, seamlessly transitioning between roles as chef, waiter, cashier and busboy. As you wander through your spiritual journey, let God be your guide and Torah be your destination.
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