Some people think when they get married they don’t have to try anymore, especially the man. He’s already proven to the woman that she’s number one in his life—why else would he give up his freedom and take the leap so many men dread? They think it’s payback time: now she’ll have to forever give love, affection, dedication without any hassle and, of course, make dinner and clean the house.
The book, Garden of Peace: A Marital Guide for Men Only by Rabbi Shalom Arush, ” title=”website”>website, as the kind of guy so many desirable women reject in favor of the “jerk”? He is if he sacrifices his identity and values. Here’s where the “manliness lies”: he is not needy, whiny, or judgmental. He’s comfortable enough with who he is that he doesn’t seek honor from people around him, even from his wife. Likewise, pick-up artists (PUAs) teach that the “alpha male” doesn’t look for a woman to validate him, especially when he approaches her for the first time.
The major lesson throughout the book is that a husband must turn on his “mensch” with his wife. During dating stages, a woman generally likes to know a man has his own life—that he has values, integrity, character, and social acceptance as well as professional fulfillment and hobbies.
But once they marry or begin to date seriously, she wants to be the top value. By marrying her, he tells her she deserves to be his top value. So marriage is not the time to slack-off. It’s the time to turn on the “mensch” part of MANsch—to be that “nice guy” who will honor his wife as the best thing that ever happened to him and whom he’ll love and protect as the strong-willed, self-contained, self-assured “alpha male” that he is.
However, when approaching and dating attractive women, many men treat the girl as if she’s the best thing that ever happened to them before they get to know her, and it indicates that their interest may be superficial and that they have few standards because they’ll take any pretty woman that comes their way, like any AFC (average frustrated chump) or clueless mensch.
Visit Orit’s website dealing with the art of seduction, ” title=”Survival of the Shittest”>Survival of the Shittest, on the subtle tests women given men on dates and throughout relationships.
