Chuck Norris writes letter to President-elect Obama

I’m still laughing about this publicity stunt. Chuck Norris—the same Chuck Norris who puts fear in the bogeyman—wrote a letter of advice to President-elect Barack Obama. And Chuck Norris doesn’t really offer advice so much as instructions.

His letter is in the form of a column for WorldNetDaily, and in it Norris assured Obama that he’ll be praying for him. (If that were a Chuck Norris joke, it would be: “Chuck Norris doesn’t pray. He screams jump and God asks, How high?”) The column begins below and continues after the jump. Here goes:

Dear President-elect Obama:

First, congratulations on your victory. The historical magnitude of your presidential win is nothing short of stupendous and a colossal fulfillment of the American dream (an achievement embedded long ago in the equality clauses of the Declaration of Independence). Your life has served and will serve as an example to countless millions, and I pray that you will live up to that honorable position and responsibility.

Now that Democrats have a virtual monopoly over our land, with control of the White House, both houses of Congress, a majority of gubernatorial positions, state legislatures, the courts, the news media, the unions and the entertainment and educational fields, it would be relatively easy for you to rule as king, casting liberal edicts in any direction. But now will come your biggest test: Will you be able to lead the other half of the country that doesn’t agree with your vision, views and policies?

It’s no big surprise that I don’t see politically eye-to-eye with you. Actually, I stand in stark opposition to most of your politics. Still, even in our differences, I realize that we must learn to work together if we are to see our country get back on track. After Election Day, I asked myself, despite the outcome, how can I work for our new president to help better America? Then the thought occurred to me, the first question that should be answered is: How will you work for me? After all, it is “We, the People” of the Constitution for whom you are employed, correct?

So I outlined a few ways you might begin to gain the respect of those who oppose you and show that your campaign pledges to bridge the divides were not empty promises to get you into office. And these requests I make are based upon the inaugural oath you will make on Jan. 20, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” No doubt these won’t be my only suggestions through the years, but they serve as a good beginning: