Leaning Toward Love: Expanding What Counts as a Jewish Home
In this article, I argue that Conservative/Masorti rabbis and cantors in the United States should officiate at the weddings of Jewish couples even when only one partner is Jewish. I do not reach this conclusion lightly, nor do I do so by diminishing the central goals of our movement. On the contrary, I remain unwavering in my commitment to covenant, Torah, mitzvot and halakhah. My argument is that our current prohibition against officiating at interfaith weddings no longer advances those goals and may, in fact, be undermining them. With each passing day, people disaffiliate from Conservative congregations and separate from beloved childhood rabbis because their desire to sanctify their love is denied. And that means the denominational loss of not only the couple, but their parents, grandparents and siblings. We are still reeling from this self-imposed restriction.
Our Core Commitments
Let me begin from the foundations of Conservative/Masorti Judaism: a covenantal relationship between God and the Jewish people, expressed through Torah and lived through mitzvot. Halakhah is our vehicle for translating divine will into lived reality. It is neither frozen nor fossilized; it is a dynamic, interpretive system that has always integrated fidelity to precedent with responsiveness to changing circumstances.
For over a century, the Conservative/Masorti movement has prohibited its clergy from officiating at interfaith weddings. The intention behind that prohibition was clear and honorable: to deter intermarriage and thereby strengthen Jewish identity, continuity and communal engagement. I affirm that goal completely. Maximizing Jewish life, learning, practice and belonging remains nonnegotiable.
However, when a halakhic ruling fails to achieve its purpose, we must reexamine the ruling. In the United States today, where intermarriage among non-Orthodox Jews approaches 70%, refusal to officiate has not stemmed the tide. Instead, it has often alienated couples and their families, pushing them away from Jewish institutions and Jewish life. The goal remains sound; the policy has failed.
The American Context
American Jewish life is distinctive. Jews in the United States have experienced unprecedented social integration and acceptance. We live, work, study and form friendships and romantic relationships with non-Jews at levels unimaginable in earlier eras. Intermarriage today often does not signify rejection of Judaism but simply human love in an open society.
Sociological data show that many intermarried couples are raising their children as Jews, and the overall Jewish population in America has grown. While in-married couples transmit Jewish identity at higher rates, rabbinic refusal to officiate does not reduce intermarriage. It only removes rabbinic presence at these sacred moments and weakens the likelihood of ongoing connection.
The question before us is not whether in-marriage correlates with higher engagement. The question is how to maximize Jewish life among the families who are forming regardless of our participation. If our refusal is not preventing marriages but is diminishing Jewish connection, we must reconsider.
The Ethical Dimension
Over time, this issue has become, for me, an ethical one as well as a sociological one. Judaism teaches that every human being is created in the image of God and commands us to love the stranger. In the modern era, commitments to dignity, equality and self-determination have deepened these biblical insights.
Our movement has already faced similar crossroads: the ordination of women, full inclusion of LGBTQ Jews and expanded roles for people with disabilities. In each case, opponents feared rupture and decline. In each case, inclusion strengthened us.
I now see refusal to officiate at the marriage of a Jew who loves a non-Jew as increasingly inconsistent with our affirmation that love is sacred and dignity universal. I do not question the sincerity of colleagues who oppose change. Their concerns about continuity and Torah integrity are honorable. I share many of their emotional hesitations. But rabbinic leadership demands that I subordinate nostalgia and personal preference to the future vitality of Jewish life.
Halakhic and Historical Considerations
It is important to state clearly that the Torah contains no explicit universal prohibition against intermarriage. Biblical figures — including Judah, Joseph, Moses, Boaz, and Solomon — married non-Israelites. The blanket prohibition emerges in later periods, especially in the post-exilic era when Jewish identity was fragile.
Rabbinic authorities debate whether the prohibition is De-Oraita (biblical) or De-Rabbanan (rabbinic). I align with those who understand it to be De-Rabbanan. That classification matters, because rabbinic enactments can be modified when they no longer serve their purpose.
Even for those who see the prohibition as biblical, our tradition provides mechanisms for extraordinary adjustment when necessary to preserve Torah’s larger goals. Halakhah has always been regional, provisional, and responsive.
I also believe we must confront honestly the ways in which certain mystical and supremacist strands of Jewish thought have portrayed Gentiles as intrinsically inferior or impure. Such views, while historically understandable in times of persecution, are morally untenable today. Any resistance grounded in notions of ethnic purity or qualitative superiority must be rejected outright.
Live by Them
When a policy no longer serves its intended purpose, it must be recalibrated. In a time when intermarriage was rare, refusal to officiate may have reinforced communal norms. In a society where intermarriage is pervasive, that refusal does not deter — it alienates. Our task is to apply Torah so that Jews may live by it, not be distanced from it.
My Proposed Policy
I therefore advocate that rabbis and cantors who concur should be permitted to officiate at Jewish weddings even when only one partner is Jewish, under specific conditions designed to maximize Jewish engagement:
• The ceremony must be clearly and exclusively Jewish, officiated only by Jewish clergy.
• There should be no conflicting religious symbols or liturgy. But enhancing the ceremony with the culture and heritage of the non-Jewish partner is to be embraced.
• The couple must engage in serious pastoral counseling.
• The couple must commit to building a Jewish home.
• If blessed with children, they must commit to raising those children as Jews.
• I strongly encourage participation in an Introduction to Judaism program and invite the non-Jewish partner to consider conversion.
• I continue to affirm matrilineal descent while encouraging rituals that ensure broad communal recognition of Jewish identity.
This is not capitulation. It is strategic embrace. Those who love Jews and are willing to raise Jewish children deserve our gratitude and support.
Unity Without Uniformity
I do not claim that this ruling should apply everywhere. Halakhah has always been regional. Communities in Israel, Europe or South America may face different sociological realities and reach different conclusions. Jewish unity does not require uniformity. What unites us is our shared commitment to covenant, Torah, and the flourishing of the Jewish people.
Leaning Toward Love
Ultimately, what does a loving God want of us? How do we best secure the future of our ancient covenant in contemporary America? For me, the answer lies in leaning toward love — toward welcome rather than rejection, toward engagement rather than distance, toward building Jewish homes rather than standing outside them.
The stone once rejected can become the cornerstone. By embracing these couples within the framework of Torah and mitzvot, we can strengthen Jewish life rather than weaken it. My aim is not to dilute Judaism but to ensure that it thrives — rooted in covenant, animated by halakhah and radiant with hesed.
Rabbi Dr. Bradley Shavit Artson is the Goldstine Distinguished Scholar of American Jewish University.
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