October 20, 2010

If you are 12 now, you’ve probably been hearing talk of your bar or bat mitzvah for years. Perhaps you’ve attended the bar and bat mitzvahs of friends or cousins. Perhaps you are the first of your friends to become a bar or bat mitzvah. Maybe you’ve attended a service and thought: How am I ever going to be able to learn all of that? Or perhaps you’ve already begun studying, and so far it’s felt pretty effortless. (Or perhaps you are a parent of a soon-to-be bar or bat mitzvah.) What follows are my Ten Commandments for bar and bat mitzvah students. Some I’ve learned during my years of teaching and preparing students for the “big day.” Some come from former students who’ve recently gone through the process and for whom the experience is very recent. Remember, if you are having concerns, you’re probably not alone. In any case, while there are no guarantees in life, following these commandments is likely to serve you well and help you to feel prepared, confident, proud and a little less anxious.

As tallit maker Shoshana Enosh watched a first-time customer sift tentatively through her wares, she got that feeling she can never explain. “Why don’t you try this one?” Enosh suggested, knowing which tallit to pull from the rack. The woman nervously wrapped the prayer shawl around her stooped shoulders. Enosh said she began to cry as she watched the transformation.