When I grow up I want to be born, how fabulous would that be —
to emerge from the ocean ready to start breathing?
When I grow up I want to be a Thou
like Buber’s rocks and trees.
I want to be lucid in my dreams,
to know I’m flying even when I’m lying
in the humidor of the grave.
When I grow up, I want to be the aleph that preceded the bet
the spirit of God
made and won with formlessness.
I want to hover over the face of the deep
and remember the God who created Heaven and Earth
is who I’ve always been.
Joy Ladin, Gottesman Professor of English at Yeshiva University, is the author of seven books of poetry, including recently published “Impersonation,” “Coming to Life” and “Transmigration.” She is also the author of a memoir, National Jewish Book Award finalist “Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders.”
