The Vexing, Age-Old Question: ‘Why Does Everyone Hate Us?’

“The one concerned with days, plants wheat; with years, plants trees; with generations, educates people.”

–  Janusz Korczak

It’s an age-old question: “Why does everyone hate us?” In my travels around the U.S. and the world, Jewish educators say they are getting asked this more and more. In preschools and day schools, summer camps and youth groups, in Buenos Aires, Johannesburg, and across North America, Jewish youth are asking a variation of this question. To be a great Jewish educator today means leaning into the question because it is an opportunity to help young people unpack all the emotions, history, and contemporary challenges that it raises.

Many of us would feel much more comfortable citing Fred Rogers, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” But the reality is that we can’t shield our children from the surge of antisemitic incidents around the world. We also need to recognize that this increase is made even more painful because as many Jews of all ages report friends and allies have been silent, less than empathetic, and sometimes even hostile to them since October 7. At the same time, much as the Haggadah models different answers for different people, educators know their responses need to be age appropriate and nuanced. In some instances, educators need to put aside their personal attitudes to such a question.

Of course, this is not easy. Educators in our community are not a monolith, neither are their views and lived experiences, to say the least. Some educators may wholeheartedly agree with the premise of that question. Others may vehemently disagree with it.  I even once argued with a professor of sociology that there are two types of Jews in the world – those who believe that the whole world is ultimately out to get us, and those who don’t. This distinction is important in understanding global Jewry. While the adage that correlation does not imply causation remains accurate, it’s also clear that this bifurcation helps to understand many diverse Jewish attitudes and behaviors, including religious observance, political beliefs, zip code of inhabitance, connection to Israel, and the educational choices that families make.

Without dismissing an educator’s personal experience, I do argue that if a purpose of education is to allow for critical thinking, educators need to impart students with an understanding that the students’ own experiences—while authentic and valid—are not necessarily the experience of others. Perhaps the question “Why does everyone hate us” should not elicit an answer but rather, as we are wont to do, should compel the educator to ask more questions of the student: “What makes you ask this?” “Did you experience hate?” Have others told you they feel this way?”

By probing deeper, with care and understanding, educators can both validate the student’s feelings and experiences and also help them see beyond their own feelings and experiences. Make no mistake, as adults we know how challenging this is; applying this goal to one of the greatest challenges in education today—teaching youth about Israel and Palestinians and a surge of antisemitism—won’t make achieving it any easier for children. But the fact that this topic has long been divisive in Jewish communal spaces makes the goal that much more important.

For education to remain educative it must elevate itself beyond rhetoric and partisanship. One way to do this is to expose students to both (all) perspectives—not as dogma, but as opinions that live along a spectrum and frame the entire conversation. Educators must be deft enough to recognize the feelings—maybe confusion or fear—that prompt this question (and others). Yet more importantly, they and we must never lose sight of the incredible potential of all education: that it has the capacity to transform lives by providing space to think beyond oneself, to learn about others and the larger world, and to begin to form answers and perspectives to life’s even most vexing questions—and perhaps above all else to provide hope for a better future.

David Bryfman, PhD, is CEO of The Jewish Education Project.