In Parsha Nitzavim, which is always read on the Shabbat before Rosh Hashanah, the Torah tells us that God was making the covenant not just with those “who are standing here with us this day” but also “with those who are not with us here this day.” Commentators have interpreted those who are “not with us” to refer to the descendants of those originally present. In other words, the covenant God made with the Israelites was intended for all future generations.
Although the intent of the Torah seems clear, our current reality looks very different from the original plan. Current surveys repeatedly show that outside of Orthodox Jews, American Jews are not especially interested in practicing a version of Judaism that mirrors, even to some degree, the covenantal partnership that forms the basis for a meaningful Jewish practice. The data is clear that for religiously liberal Jews, the concept of divine command is not especially relevant and although they are drawn to the cultural aspects of Judaism, ritual observance is relatively low. Also, a growing percentage of American Jews are unaffiliated with Jewish organizations and institutions. Although reports of a surge in Jewish practice followed Oct. 7, 2023, there has since been a measurable slippage of this trend.
I worry about these trends among non-Orthodox Jews. We need more conversations recognizing that the same culture many Jews still claim to love, and in which they continue to take great pride, is steeped in the practice of Jewish tradition and religious observance.
A few years back I wrote “Remix Judaism: Preserving Tradition in a Diverse World,” which I intended as a guidebook for non-Orthodox parents raising Jewish children. My primary goal was to show why observance of unique Jewish practices must be prioritized for religiously liberal Jews raising families, even if the nature of their practice will, realistically, differ from more traditionally observant Jews.
For Judaism to thrive and be transmissible in religiously liberal communities, Jews must develop stronger religious cultural norms of observance — a once a year Passover seder and candle lighting during Hanukkah are insufficient. To be transmissible, the norms of Jewish tradition must be celebrated with frequency, consistency, and a sense of joy. Given the realities of our current time, we are more in need than ever of the depth, wisdom, and joy that Jewish tradition offers.
“Remix Judaism” launched a few weeks before the national COVID lockdown, and I spent the following two years speaking on Zoom to roughly 200 institutions and synagogues. My audience was roughly split between Reform and Conservative Jews. Virtually all who attended were involved grandparents who wanted to see their grandchildren raised with more Judaism. I rarely saw younger Jews in my audience – except for Jews by choice – a fact that often surfaced in the questions following my presentation.
Although I was gratified that the book I had intended as a guidebook for parents became prized by older Jews actively involved in raising their grandchildren, I still find it disappointing that the people raising the youngest generations of Jews rarely surfaced on my screen. After all, they are the ones who most need to hear my message.
All available data shows that today non-Orthodox Jewish parents do not necessarily consider instilling Jewish tradition in their children as the top — or even one of the top — priorities. This does not mean they do not care about their Jewish identities. Realistically, though, they face an endless set of demands on their time in a world that contains more parenting challenges than ever before. And while the years go by quickly, the days are long and often hard.
Parsha Nitzavim contains a critical message for Jewish parents as well as for the entire Jewish organizational world. Although Jewish learning is more accessible today than ever before, the challenges facing American Jews are also more complex than in the prior decades. If you think of family life as a pie containing many slices, the top goal for Jewish institutions and organizations should be how to encourage more Jewish parents to make the Jewish piece of their family pie larger and more meaningful. The covenant our ancestors made with God demands of us nothing less.
Roberta Rosenthal Kwall is a law professor, author and Jewish educator with a focus on American Judaism. Her latest book is “Polarized: Why American Jews are Divided and What to do About It” (Bloomsbury Press).
