In a parsha we read two weeks ago, God tasked Moses and Aaron with finding a red heifer to sacrifice. This wasn’t any ordinary cow – it had to be perfect, without blemish or defect, and “on which no yoke has been laid.” In other words, it wasn’t just its color that made it seemingly unattainable. Moses and his brother were ordered to find a living embodiment of perfection. Of course, in the Bible, anything is possible, and they ultimately identified and sacrificed such a specimen.
The aspiration to flawlessness can be seen throughout the Torah. When God first called out to Abram, telling him that his new name would be Abraham and that he would be the progenitor of a great nation, he was told not only to walk with God, but to be perfect. Changing your name is easy; chasing perfection is an entirely different matter.
But isn’t it a worthy goal? Think how often we hear slogans such as “Good enough isn’t good enough,” “Never give up your dreams” and “Shoot for the stars.”
In his celebrated commencement address, Steve Jobs told the Stanford class of 2005 that “… the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking – and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know it when you find it… So keep looking. Don’t settle.”
That is a message that the millennials in the audience have been hearing throughout their lives. But constantly seeking perfection comes at a price, and while Gen Z seems to attract the most attention, it is members of the millennial generation (who are currently between 30 and 45) who have been paying it.
Data suggest that they have less job satisfaction, less fulfilling personal relationships and greater mental health challenges. Surveys indicate that almost half of millennials report feeling burnt out. A comprehensive analysis reviewed 77 separate studies and concluded that millennials struggle with perfectionism more than previous generations. They are taunted by unrealistic standards, and subject themselves to harsher self-criticism. I don’t think that guilt and anxiety were what Steve Jobs had in mind when he advised those students to never settle.
And Jobs is certainly not alone with his advice. Many of us are complicit.
When my millennial daughter graduated college, the college president said something I think of often. She cautioned the students to never take the first parking spot they see – a better one will surely come along.
I suppose that’s accurate, until it isn’t. And while you can usually circle the block and return to the parking spot you passed up, is that also true when choosing jobs and spouses? I doubt it. I am forever grateful that my wife of over 40 years didn’t hold out for perfection when I proposed!
It reminds me of Voltaire’s famous line: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”
While the search for perfection may occasionally lead to greatness, an important part of life is learning when good enough is actually good enough.
I play guitar and one of my favorite songs to sing is Leonard Cohen’s masterpiece, “Hallelujah.”
Cohen labored over it for five years, composing more than 150 drafts until he finally decided it was ready to be released. Not because he thought the song was perfect — he didn’t. He “settled” and gave up trying to make it any better.
Leonard Cohen implicitly understood a fundamental principle of economics – the law of diminishing returns. Declare victory when further effort simply isn’t worth the cost. Perhaps that had been the case earlier than five years – we will never know. But what is certain is that we were greatly enriched when Cohen did the equivalent of pressing “send” rather than “delete.”
Millennials, and the rest of us, could benefit by learning that lesson. “Settling” doesn’t necessarily imply capitulation. It might just mean that it’s time to move on.
And while there’s nothing wrong with keeping your eyes on the horizon for that magical heifer to appear, be sure to appreciate what you already have.
Abraham turned out to be far from perfect, but he was truly extraordinary.
Morton Schapiro served for more than 22 years as President of Northwestern University and Williams College. He taught almost 7,000 undergraduates over his more than 40 years as an economics professor.
