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Satirical Semite: Game of Thrones

The British are doing what we do best: raise the flag for queen and country, keep calm and suppress our emotions.
[additional-authors]
March 22, 2021
Queen Elizabeth II (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

I will not discuss the controversial hot topic of Meghan and Harry. I will not write about Meghan and Harry. I wont even mention Meghan and Harry.

Americans are always excited about July 4, a celebration of freedom, ideals and nationalism. Flags fly high, and people are proud to be American. England is the polar opposite. We treat national pride with mild embarrassment, and people who fly the English flag from their homes are often members of the far-right National Front party.

There are, however, two exceptions to British national pride: when the flag comes out at international matches and when there is a royal wedding. Even if the accusations were justified, Queen Oprahs interview seemed to many like an attack on Queen Elizabeth. The game of thrones is now in play, and the British are doing what we do best: raise the flag for queen and country, keep calm and suppress our emotions.

The royal family works hard in donating to charities and arts organizations, as well as opening schools, visiting hospitals and strengthening national unity. Prince Andrew, the queens second son, retired as a working royal” in November 2019 following the scandal of his connection with Jeffrey Epstein. Prince Andrew is now unemployed, having to survive on his savings. $63 million isnt what it used to be.

The January 2020 announcement that Prince Harry and Meghan were also stepping down from their royal duties means there are fewer family members to patronize charitable organizations and fulfill other royal roles. Let’s hope the former royal couple has adequate psychotherapeutic support to cope with the transition from England’s miserable grey skies to the glorious year-round sunshine in Santa Barbara.

Yet the United Kingdom is still strong. This small island, which fits into California 1.7 times, leads the British Commonwealth, a political association that consists of 54 states around the world. Each of the 54 states is a former member or dependent of the British Empire. We lost the prized American colonies, but one-third of the Earth is still influenced by Buckingham Palace. Some even consider this to be a modern secret empire” with global reach. Boasting is not a British trait, and rather than show off that we have 2 billion citizens, we put on the facade of being a former world power that is a bit nebbish and has seen better days. So far everyone is convinced by the act.

I have friends who would happily witness the end of the monarchy and the establishment of a republic. Although the queen does not have official influence over legislation, she meets with the prime minister once a week, and her signature authorizes new legislation. Americas separation of powers is nonexistent in Britain, as Queen Elizabeth is head of state and church, opens the parliament and has her face on the currency, coffee mugs and teacups, which we sell to tourists. The only time the royal family airs their dirty laundry in public is when they are washing the commemorative tea towels embellished with their faces.

The only time the royal family airs their dirty laundry in public is when they are washing the commemorative tea towels embellished with their faces.

I often got the sense that Americans yearn for royalty. Much of the pomp and ceremony surrounding a U.S. president is royally-inspired, and they are treated far more royally” than any British prime minister. Meanwhile the British monarchy provides a consistency that is above politics, and as governments change, the 1200-year-old British chain of monarchs continues. The queens record-setting 69-year reign has overseen prime ministers from Winston Churchill to Boris Johnson. Every week they meet to discuss parliamentary developments and fulfill the sacred religious British ceremony of drinking tea.

Some say the institution is over-privileged, archaic and irrelevant. They cost somewhere between £67-345 million to maintain each year — the number is unclear — and although they pay the capital gains tax, they are also funded by the taxpayers money. Conversely, they have such a strong international appeal that they bring in millions of pounds in tourist revenue. Like any good business, they want to provide value for money.

There were rumors from Buckingham Palace that the royal family was deeply upset with The Crown” on Netflix, which portrayed Prince Charles and other senior royals in a negative light. Despite international perception, the monarchy will not skip a generation and go straight to Prince William, and a good royal reputation for Charles, the next king, is essential for public relations and continued respect. If only they had some kind of direct connection with Netflix.

If, God forbid, there was a tragic assassination of the queen, Prince Charles and Prince Williams family, we would see the immediate accession of King Harry and Queen Meghan. In Henry IV Part ii, an original Elizabethan sequel, Shakespeare referenced the pressures faced by monarchs and wrote, heavy is the head that wears a crown.” Still, if things turn around and Harry and Meghan eventually return home, we can rewrite the bard to say, prosperous is the prince who strikes a deal with Netflix.”


Marcus is the LA Jewish Journals Royal Correspondent and an actor and writer. Check out his new video, The Hebrew Hamilton” on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x-aoOKlwm8.

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