Relationships, Mentoring and the Path to Success

Since starting this workplace column for the Jewish Journal, I have shared my advice with you about how to work better. Today, I’m getting personal and sharing my secret weapon with you: my relationships.

In my career, as in my life, relationships are my everything — and I’m not alone. There’s no question that mentoring is vital to women’s success: Mentoring can help women develop critical leadership and professional skills, establish their place in the leadership pipeline, negotiate more effectively and open the door to career-defining opportunities.

That’s why as we celebrate National Mentoring Month this January, I sat down with four important women in my life to ask what mentoring has meant to them. Each one of them has been a trusted mentor in my life and an incredible female leader in her own right across their distinct fields.

I couldn’t be more excited to introduce you to friends like Imani Greene, who has shown me the ropes as a woman entrepreneur, and Carolina Lopez Herz, whose peer-mentoring is an indispensable part of my professional life. Some of these women became my mentors through chance encounters, such as Jenny Bilfield, who sat next to me at a Washington, D.C. nail salon a decade ago (take that golf bros!). And one mentor I even have the distinct pleasure of calling my family — my aunt, Dr. Lynn Gordon.

Each of these women makes me more successful, and their relationships bring fun and friendship into my life. From the power of peer mentoring to the courage to seize opportunities, I’m thrilled to share four valuable lessons from four invaluable women in my life.

“Never Close a Door Before It’s Opened” — Jenny Bilfield, CEO of Washington Performing Arts.

“Years ago, living in NYC, I was contacted by a friend who’d spoken with an executive recruiter about a position on the West Coast. He’d passed along my name and called to give me a heads-up. As I equivocated — questioning whether I should take this opportunity seriously — he told me, ‘never close a door until it’s open.’

This stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t been offered the job — but I was already questioning if I should even speak with the recruiter. He reminded me that a conversation is neither a commitment nor was it a betrayal to my then-employer. I followed his advice, applied, was offered and accepted the job. If we seek to hear with open ears, mind and heart, we remain open to new opportunities — open to real growth and self-discovery. We also persist in other ways… in relationships, collaborations. I am so grateful for this enduring advice and have shared it liberally!”

“The Power of Peer Mentoring” — Dr. Lynn Gordon, MD, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Ophthalmology and Former Senior Associate Dean of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at The David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.

“The concept of mentoring, both as a mentor and as a mentee, is prominent over the course of my 30+ year career in academia. Perhaps the most surprising, fulfilling and long-lasting mentoring relationship developed through a peer group of eight women.

We met as strangers as we embarked, after a competitive application and selection process, on a year-long national leadership program that included in-person sessions as well as long-distance interactions by phone in the pre-Zoom era. During the in-person meetings, we worked together for at least eight hours per day for an entire week at a remote conference center. However, we really bonded in the evenings at the end of intense days over wine and “death by chocolate” homemade cake, which was carefully brought through airport security. Now, more than 10 years after our formal sessions ended, we continue to talk monthly, plan weekend retreats and meet for dinner at national meetings.

We became a community in which we receive and give advice about careers, share family losses, celebrate new accomplishments and speak the truth (when asked) with each other. The great impact of these women on my life and on my career has been invaluable.”

“Letting the Mistakes Go” — Carolina Lopez Herz, Vice President/Director, North America, at BCW.

“I spent the early years of my career terrified of making mistakes. I was good at what I did, but, driven by fear, I rarely deviated from an invisible playbook. As you can imagine, as I stepped into my first management roles, some of my colleagues found that ‘play it safe’ mentality frustrating. I wasn’t stretching myself or our team.

Being brave enough to make mistakes is critical to innovation — and that’s the best lesson I’ve learned from some of the incredible bosses and mentors in my life. They pushed me to think differently and then supported me when it didn’t work out. It’s important to be cautious when money or relationships are on the line. Mistakes born of carelessness should not be quickly dismissed, but we must be open to mistakes that happen when you’re attempting something new. Critical feedback should come with the message that innovation is worth pursuing, even if mistakes are part of the process.

“Being brave enough to make mistakes is critical to innovation.”

I try to be the type of manager and colleague who fosters an environment of creativity, entrepreneurship and scrappiness — which is easier on some days than on others at one of the largest public relations firms in the world. My team has had some incredible successes by not being afraid of mistakes. When we do make mistakes, we allow ourselves to evaluate what went wrong, learn from it and, in the end, let them go.”

“Trailblazing and Never Assigning Blame” — Imani Greene, Founder and Principal Consultant of GreeneGroup.

“Mentorship can be more pivotal to development than formal education or even functional training. It offers something that neither of these [opportunities] provide — a road forward on a path that has already been blazed. Those who have learned the lessons — and survived to tell the tales — are gifted with the obligation of showing others how it was done and what it looks like on the other side.

This is true in business as in life, and, in my case, mentorship has been most necessary where business and life collide. The Something Major community knows, lives and breathes that intersection.

Of the many lessons I’ve learned from my mentor, Lisa Osborne Ross (Chief Operating Officer of the Public Affairs firm, Edelman) … is one that consistently impacts the intersection of my business — and my life. Never assign blame. And never give the responsibility of identifying solutions to someone else. Fault does not lie with a boss, client, colleague — and especially not [with] an organization (since it is an ‘it’ and not a ‘who’). You alone must decide how to face your challenges and what you want the world to see as you surmount and overcome them. Accept the responsibility of doing so with dignity and pride.”

Randi Braun is an executive coach, consultant, speaker and the founder of Something Major.