Why I won’t be an Elon Musk groupie

Elon Musk is the type of man that smart, healthy, attractive, feminine women want to date or sleep with or marry: the alpha male.

I speak from research and experience. As a woman and former singles columnist, I’ve studied “pick-up” artistry and even wrote a pamphlet under a pen name about the “pick-up” phenomenon known as the “Shit Test.” Sounds crude, but I didn’t give it that name. The pick-up community has its own lexicon, such as the one provided at the end of author Neil Strauss’ “Bible” on seduction, The Game. The “Shit Test” describes subconscious tests that desirable women give men to test their mettle, usually by giving them a hard time. In essence, a woman is testing how he handles the real world, because life can be one big “Shit Test.”

Musk has proven he has the ability to pass “Shit Tests” with flying colors because passing them requires qualities that pick-up coaches train men to achieve.

Confidence is the number one quality. Savvy women, especially those who rate 8 to 10 on the looks scale (to borrow again from crude pick-up lingo), don’t want weak men begging for their attention, as lapdogs, as AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps). They want men who know they are worthy of their attention. On an evolutionary level, if he can “conquer” her—when she’s both fabulous but especially when she’s difficult–then he’s the type of man who can win wars and sustain the human race with the best genetic material.

Given his nerdiness, Musk may not be your typical alpha male, but he’s one of the most confident men on the planet (or thanks to him, in the solar system) if he seriously thinks he can get humans to Mars. Thanks to his vision, marketed in his the Netflix shows Return to Space and Countdown (what a way to “peacock”!), civilians have flown to outer space. He creates companies dedicated to solving world problems: Space X for space travel; Tesla for sustainable transportation, and The Boring Company for traffic. He’s a man who has literally mastered the universe. How sexy.

A confident man is skilled at banter, the kind of conversation needed to propel a man out of “friend zone.” Unless he looks like Henry Cavill, a hot woman doesn’t want a man who is clumsy beside her, who can’t hold his own. Being able to respond deftly and humorously to her subtle insults and verbal play suggests he is a man who is strong, creative, capable.

Musk is great at banter. For example, in an interview, he described once a date in college.

“The first question I asked her is: do you ever think about electric cars?” he said. She obviously didn’t. Then he added, with a smirk. “Recently, it’s been a bit more effective.” The crowd shot up in laughter, and I’m sure the interviewer in that moment wanted to hand him her bra.

Pick-up artists also teach men how they must control the frame of the encounter. Musk has proven, on Twitter at least, that he controls the frame. He takes a hit and punches right back, never getting off-balance. Take, for example, left-wing nutcase Alexandria Orcasio-Cortez’s swipe at him, when she tweeted that he’s a “billionaire with an ego problem.”

“Stop hitting on me, I’m really shy!” Musk answered with a “blush” emoji. He reframed her insult as a compliment to him. The perfect “neg”: a subtle, playful put-down of a woman to knock her off her pedestal. Flustered, AOC deleted the Tweet. Donald Trump Jr. posted a meme suggesting that Musk “owns” AOC, who, ironically, owns a Tesla vehicle. Journalist Megyn Kelly is a groupie, too, responding to one of his negs of mainstream media by saying: “So far I love the new Twitter.”

The conservative world fell head-over-heels for Musk when he bought Twitter and made it a fun space again for political and intellectual “Shit Tests” among friends and foes alike. In preserving free speech, he became the most special kind of alpha male: a hero.

These days, it’s not politically-correct to be an “alpha male,” especially among leftists and feminists. Actually, it’s not politically-correct to be male at all. “Alpha male” falls into the category of “toxic masculinity.” I wonder if the bestselling The Game would have ever been published in this climate. After getting married, Strauss even walked back his pick-up ways and renounced much of his teachings.

The Left had a crush on Musk when he was just an “alpha nerd” making electric cars instead of free speech. Since giving voice to the silenced conservatives, Musk is the male archetype the Left wants to destroy. They already tried to destroy Trump, another super alpha male. Trump was so good at passing the media’s “Shit Tests”  on Twitter, that the Left had to find a way to get him off the platform.

Ten years ago, I would’ve definitely been a Musk-groupie, in the romantic and intellectual sense. I too have been a victim of Big Tech “jail.” But it’s not the Left’s contempt for “alpha males” that have made me regard Musk with suspicion.

I’m older and wiser now. My heart has been broken by too many alpha males who are often valiant and smart when they go in for the “kill”–wining and dining you, thrilling you with inspiring conversation–but then leaving you with your broken heart on the floor by the bed when they get up to conquer the world again.

I’ve learned that while I still love confident men, their kindness, respect, and wisdom must now match their ambition, success, and wit.

Pick-up artists can teach men “openers,” but they’re awful at teaching men how to sustain relationships. (Strauss is now divorced.) Musk has “picked-up” the conservative and liberal “damsels in distress.” He has charmed us with his Twitter-banter. But what’s in his heart? How does he treat people? What are the philosophical values underlying his confidence and brilliance? Are his world-changing moves rooted in wisdom and an ethical long-term plan for human redemption–or are his rocket ships just toys of a brilliant big boy?

So I won’t let Musk sweep me off my feet me so easily. We need to know more about him than from his vanity Netflix documentaries, media interviews, or Twitter feed. He’s always aiming for the stars, but let’s go deeper, under the surface.

That said, I’m happy to meet him for a date when he’s in town to visit the Tesla factory in Berlin to help him out with that.

This article appeared first in German in Die Achse Des Guten (The Axis of Good).