From “Frozen” to “My Little Pony,” Trumpworld Has Cornered the Political Kiddie Porn Market

You may remember when the Trump Campaign explained that it was kosher to use a six-pointed star oozing dollar signs to sleaze Hillary Clinton by analogizing to an ad for DIsney's Frozen.

Now, according to a story in the Wall Street Journal under the byline Michelle Hackman (I am not making this up), Trump’s Campaign— embarrassed by Melania Trump’s white face imitation of Michele Obama’s 2008 Dem Convention speech—explains that her plagiarized lines originated in a parallel universe where words associated with Hasbro’s “My Little Pony” may instead have inspired the Slovenian-born former lingerie model’s speech before GOP faithful.

Again according to the Wall Street Journal, the Trump Campaign also cites—I kid you not—Kid Rock and the Notorious B.I.G. as possible sources. The Campaign is nothing if not multicultural. I imagine that Kid Rock is working feverishly on a new single: “Rapping with Melania—and Melanoma.”

The alternative theory is that a Hillary mole in Trumpworld planted the embarrassing passages as part of a dirty tricks operation. Need I add, that Michele Obama’s speech was originally written by Sarah Hurwitz, who also worked for Hillary Clinton? We won’t have to wait long for alt-right anti-Semites to tweet that the mole of course is Jewish because all Hillary moles are Jewish.

I accept the Trump campaign’s Slovenian explanation with this speculative adumbration: at Trump U in Slovenia, where the third Mrs. Trump could possibly have understudied (she also claims a faux college degree), Michele’s 2008 speech, translated into Slovenian, just possibly could be a staple of the Black Studies curriculum. Melania might have absorbed it subliminally as part of an extension course. It is well known that Trump U has had its problems with borrowing ersatz educational materials. Now, add Michele Obama and the Notorious B.I.G. to the list of those ripped off.

Black Lives Matter may charge “white cultural appropriation.” In Trumpworld, pink ponies matter even if black lives don’t.

Michele Obama is known to talk accurately about how her ancestors (though not her husband’s) grew up on a slave plantation. As far as I know, there were no slave plantations in Slovenia.

On the other hand, I am sure that the six-pointed star has a place in Slovenian nationalist iconography.

We can all be thankful to Trumpworld for one thing: it hasn’t—yet—added such beloved favorites as “The Little Engine That Could” and “Thomas the Tank Engine” to its obscene apologetic mix.