January 23, 2019

How to Improve the Relationship With Your Parents Forever & Bring Generational Healing

Last year I learned a secret that transformed the relationship with my parents. I would like to share it with you. But first, a 10 Commandments soundbite: “I.. am a zealous God, who – for the haters – remembers the sins of the fathers up to the third and fourth generations” (Deut 5:9). Ouch. Do you remember having the thought “I will never be like my parents”? Then, sometime later, “Oh no! I am behaving just like my mother/father!”. Unless we transform our negative behaviour patterns, we are destined to pass them on for many generations.

Some adults maintain a childlike relationship with their parents and then complain they are treated just like children. Philip Roth nailed it in Portnoy’s Complaint: “Good Christ, a Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy, and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy till they die!”.

Here is one rule to improve the relationship with your parents. It worked wonders for me. When you go to visit your parents, Act Like a Guest, Not Like You Own the Place*. That is it. Be polite to your parents and act like a guest. Guests do not answer back like teenagers or tell their hosts how to live. Guests act with gratitude and do not overstay their welcome. Simply, if you don’t behave like a teenager, you won't get treated like one. This may take practice but can yield astronomical results.
When we heal a negative pattern in our family – and prevent it lasting for three, four or more generations – we bring generational healing not only for ourselves but for our successors and predecessors. Your ancestors stand with you as you rewrite your future.

“I will call into the past [to my ancestors]. Far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me… I will reach back and draw them into me. And they must come. For at this point I am the whole reason they have existed at all.” – Amistad.

love & blessing-