June 5, 2015

If any readers are wondering why those of us who oppose state-sanctioned gay marriage believe that redefining gender roles has deleterious effects on society, they need look no further than two recent news stories that highlight the narcissism and obsession with using public fora to promote one's sexuality that increasingly characterize the dialogue on sexual identity in this country.   

First, the Caitlin craze. Like most people, I could not care less what Bruce Jenner chooses to do with his body. If living life as Caitlyn makes him feel more fulfilled and complete, he has the freedom to do that in this country. However, I can't condone his narcissism masquerading as courage. Earth to Bruce/Caitlyn: No matter what your kids might say in public, no son or daughter wants to see his/her dad on the cover of a national magazine dressed as a woman. There's a reason that your children still want to call you “Dad.” I feel sorry for Bruce, who obviously has a deep-seated need to share the most private parts of his life with the world. I hope that he can find true happiness someday without embarrassing those who love him.

ESPN's decision to award Caitlin the Arthur Ashe Courage Award was ill-considered. I might be willing to give him some points for courage if he had not been paid – quite generously, one assumes — for the Diane Sawyer interview, the Vanity Fair magazine cover, and the upcoming docu-series “I am Cait,” scheduled to air in over 120 countries on E! later this year. Would it not have been more courageous for Bruce/Caitlin to come out to his close friends and relatives and then simply live his life, instead of getting paid millions to let the world know? Given that the Arthur Ashe award has been given to truly courageous recipients like Pat Tillman, Nelson Mandela and Muhammad Ali, I hope that ESPN will reconsider its decision.

Two contrasting decisions on high school commencement speeches in Colorado highlight the narcissism of two gay valedictorians. In Longmont, Evan Young was stripped of his valedictorian status and not permitted to address his fellow graduates after he submitted a speech for his principal's approval in which he planned  to come out as gay to his parents and everyone present. The principal shared the speech with Evan's parents, and all heck broke loose.

Evan worked hard for years to earn the title of valedictorian, and it was clearly wrong for the principal to deny him that honor at the graduation ceremony. It was also inappropriate for the principal to share the speech with Evan's parents. However, the principal deserves the Arthur Ashe Courage Award for standing for the (outdated?) idea that a graduation ceremony is not the appropriate time or place for discussing one's sexual identity. Although this smart student may believe that the earth's axis is firmly fixed above his head, it's probably safe to assume that the hundreds of parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles in attendance are likely not interested in serving as a captive audience to his thoughts on being gay.

Indeed, Evan would do well to download the text of a speech made by a lesbian valedictorian from Carbondale. Emily Bruell was (unfortunately) given permission by her principal to announce her sexual identity in her valedictory speech, and she received a standing ovation after she did so. While I believe that it was inappropriate for her to have included this in her speech, I do hope that Emily, Evan and those who agree with their actions take to heart one of Emily's thoughts: “[Y]ou can also choose to give up the labels, to judge a person simply as a human. This is our opportunity for a life without labels. Take it.”  One only wishes that that she had taken her own advice while writing her speech.