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Jewish Journal

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October 10, 2013

Rabbis arrested in kidnapping, beating of recalcitrant husbands

Leave a Comment / Judaism /

Two Orthodox rabbis and two others were arrested for allegedly kidnapping and beating men in order to force them to grant their wives religious Jewish divorces.

The men were arrested Wednesday night in a monthlong sting operation in which a female FBI agent posed as an Orthodox woman trying to get a religious divorce, or “get,” from her husband.

Rabbis Mendel Epstein and Martin Wolmark, along with the two alleged accomplices, were due to appear Thursday in U.S. District Court in Trenton, N.J. Six others could be charged, according to reports.

The arrests were accompanied by a series of searches executed by the FBI, including one at Yeshiva Shaarei Torah in Monsey, in New York’s Rockland County. Others were in Lakewood, N.J., Brooklyn and elsewhere. In the yeshiva raid, the students, of high school age, were forced to remain outside for the bulk of the law enforcement operation, the Journal News reported. 

According to the complaint unsealed Wednesday morning, the rabbis charged $10,000 to persuade the rabbis on the rabbinical court to approve the kidnapping, and another up to $60,000 to pay for others to handle the kidnapping and beating and other physical torture, The Star-Ledger newspaper reported.

Orthodox Jewish women cannot remarry without a writ of divorce granted by a rabbinical court.

Epstein is a divorce mediator in the Orthodox community, according to The Star-Ledger.

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About

Leave a Comment / Culture, Health, Is Featured?, Mobile, Mobile-Homepage, News /
Elaine Rose Glickman received her Master of Arts in Hebrew Letters and ordination from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, where she earned prizes for writing and academic excellence and graduated first in her class. Her book Sacred Parenting: 
Jewish Wisdom and Practical Guidance for Your Family’s Early Years was a finalist for the 2009 National Jewish Book Award. Her latest book, The Messiah and the Jews, was published in March. She is also the author of Haman and the Jews: A Portrait from Rabbinic Literature and the editor of B’chol L’vavcha and Living Torah: Selections from Seven Years of Torat Chayim. Her essays, sermons, and poetry appear in Visions of Torah, Jewish Stories from Heaven and Earth, the National Jewish Book Award winner 
The Women’s Torah Commentary, Antisemitism: A Historical Encyclopedia of Prejudiceand Persecution, The Women’s Haftarah Commentary, CCAR Journal, The American Rabbi, and on the acclaimed educational website myjewishlearning.com. Her articles and
letters to the editor have appeared in the New York Times, Newsweek, Mommy Magazine, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, and Tufts Magazine.
 
Rabbi Glickman has been featured as a parenting expert on the syndicated television talk show Daytime and as a keynote speaker on parenting issues. She writes a parenting advice column for a bimonthly magazine and has been invited to speak in synagogues 
and schools around the country, including in Florida, Texas, Connecticut, New York, and California. 
 
Rabbi Glickman also serves a member of the editorial board of the internationally-distributed CCAR Journal, as a member of the Sarasota-Manatee Rabbinical Association, and as an executive board member of All Faiths Food Bank. At Temple Emanu-El, she teaches adult and family education classes; chairs Mitzvah Day, Tot Shabbat, the Religious School Social Committee, and the preschool; and sings in the Family Shabbat Band. She is married to Rabbi Brenner J. Glickman and is the mother of the fabulous Mo, Leo, and Eden.
 

From Nairobi to Pakistan religicide rears its ugly head

Leave a Comment / Opinion /

The carnage at Nairobi’s Westgate Mall, the homicide bombers massacre of worshipers at an historic church in Peshawar, deposed Muslim Brotherhood loyalists torch scores of Coptic churches in Egypt, a series of vicious attacks against Nigerian Christians and churches…

Nigeria’s Boko Haram, (recently described by US State Department merely as a group with grievances about Nigerian governance) through its murderous targeting of innocent Christians, served as a cruel prequel to the Kenyan and Pakistan attacks. All wars are hell, but we are now witnessing not only a quest for conquest but a campaign to destroy anyone whose path to G-d deviates from the pure theology of hate.

Last month, Boko Haram terrorists disguised as Nigerian soldiers set up roadblocks between the cities of Maiduguri and Damaturu. Motorists were stopped and asked their names. If Muslims, they were allowed to pass only after reciting a line from the Koran. On that day, 143 motorists were identified as Christians. They were dragged out and killed–their bodies dumped along the side of the road. Two days later, more Christians were murdered at a different location.

We know of no evidence directly linking the attacks in these countries.  But Kenya's chief of general staff, Julius Karangi was correct in describing Al-Shabaab terrorists as “a multinational collection from all over the world… We have also have an idea that this is not a local event.” Coordinated or not, these terrorists all selected their victims according to religion.  In Pakistan it was simple enough—attack the embattled Christian minority at the historic All-Saints Church. The Nairobi murdererstook the time to identify Muslims and let them exit the mall.

On November 2nd, 1943 Haj Amin al-Husseini, Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, spoke at Berlin’s Luftwaffe Hall. Having met both Hitler and Himmler, he knew of what he spoke when he declared, “The Germans know how to get rid of the Jews.”

Little did anyone know that some of the Nazi techniques would be used 70 years later by al-Husseini’s heirs, jihadists who like the Nazis brazenly select who shall live, and who shall die.

Georges Clemenceau, one of the chief architects of Versailles said, “War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.”  The world has been slow to understand that for some Islamists, victory is defined not merely by conquering territory, but by destroying people—especially people of (another) faith. The Nazis called it extermination. We call it Religicide- but whatever the label, we must act to thwart this horrific trend.

To have any hope, the counterattack must be led by Muslims. After the latest outrages, an important condemnation was expressed by the Muslim Public Affairs Council. “Those who have committed this heinous act have gone beyond basic principles of humanity…There is no cause that can justify the killing and maiming of young children, the elderly and the most innocent in society. This perverted mindset that sheds blood without regards to any humanity must be confronted and challenged by all of us,” its statement declared.

An important message – especially in light of the silence of religious leaders around the globe who failed to quickly and unequivocally expressed their outrage. It was diminished only by its depiction of these heinous crimes as “senseless violence.” Alas, the violence of the jihadists is anything but senseless, or simply uncontrolled barbarism.  It makes all too much sense to the demagogues who teach it to their followers. The platform of global jihadists includes religicide and genocide of anyone who prays and thinks differently than they.

Four hundred years ago, Rabbi Judah Loewe of Prague, known as the Maharal, puzzled over the biblical narrative of Cain and Abel, the earliest fratricide. As the curtain comes down, the good brother, Abel lies dead; his guilty brother Cain cops a suspended sentence. This sends a confusing message. Would it not have been better for good to triumph over evil, or at least for the murderer to have been brought to stricter justice? In answer, Maharal points to Abel’s name in the original Hebrew – hevel, which means vacuousness and emptiness.  Abel may have acted more properly than his brother, but his commitment to good was weak and flimsy, not firm and determined. Abel loses to Cain because good does not always win out over evil. Strong, resolute evil will beat outweak, irresolute good. It is a lesson that 21st century humankind would do well to ponder and internalize. 

If we don’t want to go the way of Abel, we better be prepared to take on Cain.

Rabbi Abraham Cooper is the Associate Dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center. Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein is Director of Interfaith Relations at the Simon Wiesenthal Center.

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Between past and future: Israel, Africa and the Apartheid Canard

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Israelis were not surprised by the terrorist attack by last month’s Al-Qaeda-linked Al-Shabaab Nairobi’s Westgate Mall, killing 67 people. They had been on alert against such dangers since two attacks on Israeli targets in Mombasa in 2002. Indeed, there were reports that Israeli experts helped Kenyan forces deal with the Mall takeover.

There are signs of expanding Israel – Africa relations. During the past two years, more than 40 senior African dignitaries—including the presidents of Rwanda, Uganda, Togo, South Sudan, as well as the prime minister of Kenya—have visited Israel, with the Nigerian president expected soon.

The Israeli-African nexus is not a new story — its narrative not merely comprised of current shared struggles against terrorism.  Dating back to 1958, there is a famous picture of Israel’s then Foreign Minister Golda Meir—her sturdy pocketbook in hand — visiting Ghana, one year after that country became the first African nation to win independence and a mere ten years after the establishment of the fledgling Jewish state.

In some respects, the visit of the one-time Milwaukee housewife was prophecy fulfilled. In the 1890s, Edward Wilmot Blyden, pioneering founder of the African freedom movement, later led by led by W.E.B. Du Bois, Kwame Nkrumah, among others, lauded Theodor Herzl for launching “that marvelous movement called Zionism.” Herzl reciprocated in his novel, Altneuland (1902) envisaging “the return of Negroes” from their Diaspora to help liberate Africa.

By the early 1970s, 10 African states had embassies in Jerusalem, and Israel maintained relations with 32. After the Sharpeville massacre of 1960, Israel vociferously criticized South Africa’s apartheid regime, resulting in a temporary rupture of relations that had been established in 1948. An Israeli embassy was not opened in Pretoria until 1974. But then in wake of the 1973 Arab oil embargo, 21 Black African broke diplomatic relations with Israel. Then in 1975, just a month before the UN General Assembly passed the “Zionism equals racism” resolution, Uganda’s President Idi Amin spoke before the General Assembly calling for “the extinction of Israel.”

In 1976, during Operation Entebbe Kenyan government official Bruce McKenzie—subsequently assassinated on Amin’s orders—persuaded Kenyan President Jomo Kenyatta to permit Israeli Mossad agents to gather information prior to the hostage rescue operation in Uganda, and to allow Israeli Air Force aircraft to refuel at aNairobi airport after the rescue.

Throughout the 80s, Israel’s focus shifted to Ethiopia’s Black Jews, known as the Falashas or Beta Israel, and their epic struggle to reach the Holy Land. With Operation Moses in 1984-1985 and Operation Solomon in 1991, Israel airlifted, respectively, 6,500 and over 14,000 Beta Israel into the Jewish state. Today, all remaining Jews from Ethiopia have resettled in Israel, struggling, as each immigrant grouphas, to make the transition into the mainstream of Israeli society. Meanwhile, there was the stormy drama of the small sect of self-identified, Black Hebrew Israelites who settled in the Negev town of Dimona. They were initially made into a metaphor by critics of Israel who portrayed the Jewish state as a racist society. While it took over twenty years to fully resolve tensions, today the Black Hebrews—including the first born in Israel who was killed by Palestinian terrorists during his Bar Mitzvah in 2002—have come to symbolize how anybody with commitment and persistence can make a future for themselves in Israel.

A third act in the Israel/Africa drama is the recent influx of African refugees into Israel. Authorities have been struggling to balance human rights and security and societal concerns,with mixed results. The Israeli Supreme Court recently ruled that these individuals cannot be detained indefinitely and then expelled. A solution to their plight remains a significant challenge for Israeli society.

So against the backdrop of historic affinity of African with Jewish freedom struggles, with expanding economic opportunities and continuing humanitarian interchange, the future course of Israel-African ties seems promising.

There remains however, a significant threat to those hopes; a threat based on a powerful lie: The canard that Israel is the apartheid heir to the deposed South African Apartheid regime. The Boycott/Divestment/Sanctions (BDS) Movement was officially launched in 2005 declaring it was “inspired by the struggles of South Africans against Apartheid.” No one less than Archbishop Desmond Tutu supports this ‘big lie’ that debuted at the UN’s 2001 Conference Against Racism in Durban South Africa where NGOs made toxic attacks on the Jewish state its centerpiece.  Unfortunately, officials of today's South African government, continue to embrace the slander rhetorically and diplomatically, aligning not just with the Palestinian cause in general but especially with Hamas.

Which narrative will ultimately prevail? We should take heart from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. stirring words:

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

Rabbi Abraham Cooper is associate dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center and Dr. Harold Brackman, a historian is a consultant to the Simon Wiesenthal Center

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Days of awe and days of discovery

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This most recent High Holy Days, I had the privilege of experiencing a dozen different synagogues in Los Angeles. They were for me days of awe — and days of discovery.

Having taken office just a few months ago as L.A.'s newly elected City Controller, I received many invitations to attend services at synagogues all over Los Angeles. Where was I to go? So, as the 12 tribes traveled from place to place, I decided to make 5774 the year I would visit 12 congregations during the Days of Awe of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

The experience was nothing short of amazing. As L.A. is the most diverse and vibrant city I know and love — so too are its Jewish communities. I found inspiration at each and every congregation, along with lessons to reflect upon — and a little something special in every synagogue and temple.

Creating a sense of place at Ikar — Visiting Ikar on the eve of Rosh Hashanah at the Westside Jewish Community Center on Olympic Boulevard was a wonderful reminder of how you can make any place special and holy. Crisp white sheets were fashioned into a makeshift corridor leading to the gym, creating a sense of arrival. Affixed to the sheets and to the walls of the otherwise cavernous gym were dozens of poster boards with inspiring quotes from the Torah, the Mishnah, Steve Jobs, and even the Wizard of Oz. It was both a beautiful and whimsical space to contemplate the transformative opportunities that the High Holy Days offer to us.

Taking responsibility at Temple Isaiah — “Whoever destroys a single soul destroys a complete world. Whoever preserves a single soul preserves a complete world”  Talmud Sanhedrin 37a.  That's what we reminded on the first day of Rosh Hashanah by Rabbi Zoe Klein. And, in the midst of the solemn liturgy of B 'Rosh Hashanah — where we ponder who “shall live and who shall die; who by fire and who by water” — Rabbi Klein asked “Who by texting”?  She sobered us up to the realities of 1.6 million accidents, and a growing number of deaths each year from driving while “in-text-ified”. In our everyday acts, we must take responsibility — and choose life.

Encouraging our youth at Temple Beth El of San Pedro — Yes, there are Jews in San Pedro. And, in fact, a historic and vibrant community. There was perhaps no greater evidence of its vibrancy than the most extraordinary Rosh Hashanah appeal delivered by one of the congregation's 12th graders. He recalled his Bar Mitzvah five years ago, followed by a period of minimal involvement with the shul during Junior High. Rabbi Charles Briskin wisely reached out to re-engage him, and so began a new and deep commitment to his synagogue and its youth group.  Speaking with poise and wisdom, he articulated the voice of a new generation of leaders. We were all left with the unmistakable impression that if this is the kind of young man the San Pedro shul is helping to raise — we're compelled to give.

Having an attitude of gratitude at Beth Am — I spent the second day of Rosh Hashanah accompanying my father to Beth Am. We visited both the Library Minyan (which my father has been attending for several years), and the main sanctuary. I was particularly inspired by a recommendation made by Rabbi Ari Lucas in his sermon. Accustom yourself to making “thank you” the very first thought you have when you arise in the morning. We're often so used to hitting the alarm and starting the day with the thoughts of our to-do lists and that we're already running late. Just a few seconds is all it takes to instead make gratitude the first thought of our day. I've sought to take Rabbi Lucas' advice — and I'm thankful for his prodding to do it.

Keeping a sense of perspective at Wilshire Boulevard Temple — The first of my two Kol Nidres began in the late afternoon at the venerable and newly reopened sanctuary of Wilshire Boulevard Temple. Built in 1929 with the help of movie moguls like Louis B. Mayer, Irving Thalberg, Carl Laemmle and the Warner brothers, this architectural masterpiece has been restored to look more beautiful than ever. Rabbi Steven Leder reminded us of how the temple's massive dome is both a testament to humanity's accomplishment and a bit of perspective on just how small we are in relation to all that is above and around us. He recalled the words of Rabbi Bunim of P'shiskha, who said: “Everyone should have two pockets, each containing a slip of paper. On one should be written: I am but dust and ashes, and on the other: The world was created for me. From time to time we must reach into one pocket, or the other.” The secret of living comes from knowing when to reach into each.

Balancing the big and the small at Stephen S. Wise Temple —  Sometimes referred to the “shul with the pool”, the temple has no less than 7 Rabbis — though I must concede to being quite partial to masterful Cantor Nathan Lam and to Rabbi Eli Herscher — who performed a beautiful marriage ceremony of my recently married nephew and his wife. With a wide range of activities amidst a verdant campus, Stephen S. Wise manages to be big and yet closely connected with a small-town feel. It's a lesson we could learn in government.

Pursuing justice at Leo Baeck Temple — In a world in which we sometimes forget the shoulders upon which we stand, Leo Baeck was blessed to have a bima shared by a mensch of Senior Rabbi, Kenneth Chasen, along with Associate, Emeritus and Founding Rabbis. The services — and particularly an address by the ever-energetic 92-year-old Rabbi Leonard Beerman — were as much a call to political and social change as to spiritual change. In this community with a history of activism, the spirit of the civil rights movement lives on.

Offering something for everyone at Temple Judea — On the afternoon of Yom Kippur, the growing fatigue of the fast was bolstered by an energetic trio of young Rabbis leading a ruach-filled service — aided by teenagers with some of the best voices I've ever heard. Recently remodeled, the Temple is brimming with services, school and more — including “Body Blast” workouts, a Health Care Exchange sign-up and a garden gathering. In short, something for everyone.

Finding a match at Chabad of Encino — Walking in the door on Yom Kippur is a sight to behold. Almost everyone is dressed in white — reflecting our yearning for a clean slate on this most awesome of days. There's earnest davening, and as much going on in the hallway as in the shul as friends and neighbors re-connect — and as the many singles away from the mechitza engage in a fair amount of flirting. And why not? I know many happy couples who met at Yom Kippur services and break-the-fasts — including me and my beshert (match). This Yom Kippur marked our 16th anniversary — alas, no cake until nightfall.

Passing on tradition from one generation to the next at Valley Beth Shalom — VBS has been led by some of the greatest contemporary Rabbis, orators, writers and thinkers. Their Cantor, the European-born Herschel Fox, has for more than two decades, shared his knowledge, talent, and Yiddishkeit. He is both the voice of a nearly-departed generation and a voice of today's; a real treasure. It was my personal thrill to join him on the bima to sing together a duet of L'dor Va'dor — a prayer “from generation to generation”. Indeed every generation brings something new and vibrant; but we would do well to also embrace the gifts of prior generations. Great musical classics of Hazzanut need never go out of style.

Remembering those who came before us at Adat Ari El — I arrived in time for a late afternoon Yizkor memorial service. In the tradition of putting a small stone at the grave of our departed, each of us who gathered in the sanctuary was given a small river rock. During services, we had the opportunity to recall a loved one by placing the rock on one of the steps leading to the ark — and to take with us any one of the other rocks left by fellow mourners. It was a silent way to share the memory of a loved one with others, and to share in the mitzvah of remembering the lives of others we didn't know.

Building a life with the ones you love at Temple Akiba — Amidst the various congregations I visited during these Days of Awe, I managed to attend three services at what's become my home shul: Temple Akiba in Culver City. I must also admit to being most biased in loving this congregation and its Rabbi, Zachary Shapiro — to whom I happened to be married. Having also spent 20 years as the hazzan at a congregation in Montebello, I now also enjoy doing a bit of singing with Akiba's mellifluous Cantor, Lonee Frailich. With Akiba now starting a major reconstruction project, the good Rabbi reminded us of the cycle of life: “To build, to take down and to build again”. In every congregation, and in each of our lives, there is no greater task than building our lives – and our communities — together.  

Like the 12 Tribes, each of the congregations I visited has its unique flavor — but all are bound together as a family with a shared history, values and aspirations. I can't wait to return, and I am looking forward to visiting many more synagogues — and L.A.'s many other communities of faith — in the year to come.

Ron Galperin took office July 1 as L.A.'s most recently elected City Controller.

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The real Cory Booker

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I have met Steve Lonegan. He is a fellow Republican and there are obvious areas of policy agreement. But many things trump party loyalty, with friendship being foremost among them.

I have known and loved Cory Booker for 21 years. Ever since he walked into our Jewish student facility in Oxford's ancient city center almost accidentally more than two decades ago on the Jewish festival of Simchas Torah, we have been soul friends. I was Rabbi to the students and he was an African-American Rhodes scholar. Within days we were studying Torah together several times a week and hosting other students at our “Kosher Soul Food” dinners that Cory made with my wife, Debbie, at our home. Within a year Cory was so popular among our thousands of student members that he became the first ever non-Jewish president of a major Jewish student organization, The L'Chaim Society at Oxford, which I had founded in 1989.

Inasmuch as I have written many articles about Cory and his relationship, as a Christian, with Judaism, there is no need to recount so many of the tales here that demonstrate what a special person he is. Suffice it so say that the attacks I am reading against him run utterly contrary to the truth.

What has always distinguished Cory, as I have always told him, is not his charisma, remarkable oratorical skills, or leadership qualities, impressive as they may be. Rather, it is his love for all of God's children. Cory was born with a unique sensitivity to the suffering of others. He has always placed himself among the underprivileged and those struggling to make ends meet. Even as a Rhodes scholar he would leave the ivory tower of Oxford academia and travel to Blackbird Leys, an economical depressed British housing estate, to organize programs for the youth. There were no press cameras on him and no votes to be had. Only his close friends knew of his work there.

The attacks on him about not caring enough about Newark are malicious and ignorant. Aside from all the positive information known to the public of how he has taken his city forward, there have been so many occasions that I have visited him privately in his office in Newark where he has been in the midst of conversations with underprivileged youth of the city whom he is mentoring. Criticism by his political adversaries about crime in Newark ignore the city's history prior to his taking office and the personal sacrifices he has made to keep all the residents of his city safe. A regular at Shabbat Friday night dinners at our home, there were endless occasions when he had to leave early with the Newark police so he could personally go out on patrols late at night to reduce crime, amid considerable risk to himself. How many other mayors can claim the same?

He has also been the most loving friend. When my daughter Mushki was getting married two years ago Cory called me and said, “Shmuley, I feel like your kids are my own. Please make the wedding on a night that I don't have city responsibilities. It's inconceivable that I would not be there.” On the night of the wedding he was the first guest to arrive and danced up a storm.

The same was true for the celebrations of the birth of our three sons when a Jewish father is obligated to stay up the whole night studying Torah for spiritual protection before the circumcision-bris. Cory, a non-Jew facing his biggest exams as an Oxford student, stayed up with me the entire night and then repeated the exercise twice, first as a Newark councilman and then as a Mayoral candidate.

And, as a friend, he has so often agreed to participate in our organization's public events – obviously not earning a penny (indeed he's a financial supporter of our work to promote universal values, like having regular family dinners, in American society and culture). If he met wealthy donors at these events, he was always speaking to them about projects they could fund in Newark for the benefit of residents. Impressed as they were with his unbridled passion for his city, a great many got involved.

And how many times were we in his Suburban, driving through the city, when he would jump out of the car to personally meet residents who were just walking by, offering them his warm smile and hearing their concerns.

Those who now falsely attack Cory as more interested in his celebrity than people don't know the Oxford student who, at his graduation, was lovingly greeted by the middle-aged, mature students of Oxford whom the younger students ignored but Cory always befriended.

I am close with many leaders of the Republican party and I ran for Congress as a Republican. I believe in the party's message of dignity through self reliance, even as I have challenged the fixation on some of its social values. But in this age of hyper-partisanship it is incumbent upon us all to put principles before party, values before divisiveness, and truth over fiction.

Cory Booker is a special and unique man, a true friend, a devoted public servant, an inspiration to millions nationally, and someone who has taught me to be more caring of others. He will make the most incredible Senator for the residents of the state of New Jersey.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, “America's Rabbi,” has been named by The Washington Post and Newsweek as “the most famous Rabbi in America'' and was the winner of the London Times Preacher of the Year competition at the millennium. A recipient of The American Jewish Press Association's Highest Award for Excellence in Commentary, he has just published 'The Fed-Up Man of Faith: Challenging God in the Face of Tragedy and Suffering.” Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

The real Cory Booker Read More »

Married and dating: Polyamorous Jews share love, seek acceptance

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Bud Izen wasn't prepared for the reaction he received the first time he brought his two girlfriends with him to synagogue in Eugene, Ore.

The rabbi stopped the trio in the parking lot outside the synagogue and grilled Izen’s partners about whether or not they were really Jewish. Izen hasn't been back since, but he and his girlfriend — now his wife — still engage in polyamory, the practice of having more than one intimate partner at a time.

A number of partners have been part of the couple's relationship since Izen, 64, and Diane Foushee, 56, first got together 3 1/2 years ago. Now they are seeking a third partner in the hopes of forming a stable three-way relationship, or triad.

“We want to use the relationship that we have to bridge our way to the next relationship,” said Foushee, “so that each of us in turn is given strength.”

Polyamory, often shortened to poly, is a term that first came into circulation in the 1990s. It is distinct from swinging in that it typically entails more than just sex, and from polygamy, where the partners are not necessarily married. Polyamorous relationships often are hierarchical, including a “primary” relationship between a couple that can be supplemented by a “secondary” relationship with a girlfriend, boyfriend or both.

Such arrangements remain far from mainstream acceptance. But in the wake of the progress made by gay and lesbian Jews in winning communal recognition for non-traditional partnerships, some polyamorous Jews are pushing to have their romantic arrangements similarly accepted.

“The only kind of queers who are generally accepted in some sects are monogamous married queers, upstanding queers,” said Mai Li Pittard, 31, a Jewish poly activist from Seattle. “Judaism right now is very oriented towards having 2.5 kids, a picket fence and a respectable job. There’s not a lot of respect for people on the fringe.”

A former editor of ModernPoly.com, a nationwide polyamory website, Pittard has been polyamorous for 10 years and is currently involved with three partners — two men and one woman. She is a violinist and vocalist in a fusion hip-hop klezmer band, the Debaucherantes, and likes to engage in culture jamming, the mixing of seemingly disparate cultural elements. Combining polyamory and Judaism is one example of that.

“For me, polyamory and Judaism make a lot of sense together,” Pittard said. “When I’m singing niggunim or hosting people at my Shabbat table, it’s just another way of experiencing a connection with a group of people.”

Pittard is frustrated by what she describes as a “white-bread,” conformist Jewish culture that refuses to accept polyamorous relationships. But some Jewish communities have been more accepting than others.

“It's easier to be open about polyamory at temple than it is with my professional colleagues,” said Rachel, a 28-year-old San Francisco business owner who asked that her last name be withheld. “My particular segment of the Jewish community likes me because I’m different and they accept that being poly is part of that.”

Others are more conflicted about their polyamorous and Jewish identities.

Ian Osmond, 39, a Boston-area bartender and former Hebrew school teacher who has been in a polyamorous marriage for 10 years, says he believes the rabbinic ruling that prohibited polygamy nearly a millennium ago has expired. Still, Osmond worries that his behavior is inconsistent with Jewish law.

“I do feel there’s a conflict between polyamory and Judaism,” said Osmond, who is dating several women. “I feel that what we are doing is not supported by halachah.”

Rabbi Elliot Dorff, rector of American Jewish University in Los Angeles and a longtime champion of gay inclusion in the Jewish community, draws the line when it comes to polyamory.

“First of all, the depth of the relationship is much greater if it’s monogamous,” Dorff said. “The chances that both partners are going to be able to fulfill all the obligations of a serious intimate relationship are much greater in a monogamous relationship. I would say the same to gay or straight couples: There should be one person you live your life with.”

But some poly Jews say they have pursued other relationships precisely because their partners were unable to fulfill all their needs. Izen began exploring polyamory because his wife has crippling migraines and other health problems that make sex impossible. Osmond did so because his wife is asexual.

“She’s just not interested in sex, and therefore it didn't bother her if I was interested in sex and had sex with other people,” Osmond said. “Lis and I are comfortable with each other, and emotionally careful.”

For more than a decade, poly Jews have connected with one another on the email list AhavaRaba — roughly translated “big love” in Hebrew. The list’s 200-plus members come from across the country and use the forum to discuss jealousy, breakups, child rearing in multiple relationships and, in one case, a poly gathering in a sukkah. They also address the challenges of being poly in a community in which monogamy and marriage are still considered the ideal.

That tension manifested itself for Pittard in a recent discussion with poly friends who were considering attending a couples wine-tasting event hosted by JConnect Seattle, a networking site for Jewish young adults.

“We were talking and we said, well, does this also make you slightly uncomfortable, having to choose which of your partners to bring to something like this? Do you feel like if you showed up with both of your partners, or all three, they’d look at you weird?' Pittard recalled. “A lot of people are closeted for fear of judgment.”

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, senior rabbi at New York’s gay synagogue, Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, says she tries to avoid that sort of judgment in her rabbinic practice. Polyamory, she says, is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant, socially conscious life.

“People make all different kinds of choices, and many choices have complex issues related to them,” Kleinbaum told JTA. “The important thing is for all of us to be asking ourselves hard questions about how to create non-exploitative, profoundly sacred lives within the different choices that exist.”

Poly Jews occasionally invoke the multiples wives and concubines typical of the biblical patriarchs as evidence that their relationships can indeed be sacred. But one poly Jew who asked to remain anonymous because of her connections to an Orthodox institution said those role models only go so far.

“I acknowledge that in some sense there’s an inherent conflict, there is a sense in which classical Jewishness is built in separation, reservation, the enforcing of boundaries,” she said. “I think there has to be some more work towards an authentically Jewish way of constructing the notion of polyamory beyond the superficial answer of 'hey, that’s how they married in the Torah, right?’ ”

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Pakistani teenager, shot by Taliban, wins EU human rights prize

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Pakistani teenager Malala Yousafzai, shot in the head by the Taliban for campaigning for education for girls, won the European Union's annual human rights award on Thursday, beating fugitive U.S. intelligence analyst Edward Snowden.

The 16-year-old was attacked last year while on a school bus in northwestern Pakistan, but recovered after medical treatment in Britain. She is also a favorite among experts and betting agencies to be named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday.

“She is an icon of courage for all teenagers who dare to pursue their aspirations and, like a candle, she lights a path out of darkness,” said Joseph Daul, chairman of the centre-right European People's Party in the European Parliament.

Yousafzai started her campaigning by writing blogs in 2009 in which she described how the militant Islamist Taliban prevented girls like her from going to school.

She quickly rose to international fame when more and more foreign media outlets conducted interviews with her. Her growing profile attracted the Taliban's attention and led to frequent death threats.

“I was not worried about myself that much. I was worried about my father. We could not believe they would be so cruel as to kill a child, as I was 14 at the time,” Yousafzai said in a U.S. television interview with “The Daily Show” on Tuesday.

Her book “I Am Malala” is currently the second-best selling book on Amazon.com.

The Sakharov Prize for freedom of thought has been awarded by the European Parliament each year since 1988 to commemorate Soviet scientist and dissident Andrei Sakharov. Its past winners include Nelson Mandela and Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi.

Yousafzai was chosen by a vote among the heads of all the political groups in the 750-member parliament.

Snowden had been nominated by the Green group in the parliament for what it said was his enormous service to human rights and European citizens when he disclosed secret U.S. telephone and Internet surveillance programs.

Reporting by Justyna Pawlak and Robert-Jan Bartunek; editing by Luke Baker and Mark Trevelyan.

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Pew study prompts spirited synagogue leadership debate

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Five days after the release of the Pew Research Center’s “Portrait of Jewish Americans,” a report revealing that Jewish engagement is on the decline, speakers at The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles’ Oct. 6 Synagogue Leadership Conference all appeared to be asking one question: Should we panic?

“I share your worries about the results of the Pew research study, but I don’t think we should panic,” Harvey Cox, a leading theologian who until his retirement in 2009 was a professor at Harvard Divinity School, told a room full of rabbis, lay leaders, communal officials, philanthropists and others. The group had assembled at Federation headquarters for an event titled “Staying Relevant in a World That Won’t Stop Changing.”

Cox, author of “The Future of Faith,” delivered the program’s keynote address. He also participated in the day’s closing panel, alongside Rabbis Naomi Levy and Yosef Kanefsky, and others.

Sunday’s event was planned prior to the release of the study, but it came at an opportune time, given that the study paints a bleak picture of what Judaism looks like right now. “The percentage of U.S. adults who say they are Jewish when asked about their religion has declined by about half since the late 1950s” and 32 percent of Jewish Millennials “describe themselves as having no religion,” is among the findings in the report.

Cox, who is not Jewish but is married to a Jewish woman and has raised his child as Jewish, said there is, nevertheless, a lot to find encouraging in today’s world, despite the findings of the report. 

He said he often meets young people at Harvard who are interested in God and spirituality. 

Kanefsky, however, leader of the Modern Orthodox B’nai David-Judea Congregation, challenged Cox’s optimism, noting that he is worried not about fewer people being interested in spirituality but in the decline in levels of observance.

“If the question were: How do we make sure that young Jews remain people interested in God, people interested in spirituality? Then, absolutely, don’t panic. Because interest in God, interest in spirituality, is on the upswing. But if the question is: How do we want to ensure the continuity of Judaism? Panic,” Kanefsky said.

Kanefsky spoke during a panel that followed Cox’s keynote lecture, which addressed pluralization, American-Jewish attitudes toward Israel and other topics over the course of an hour.

Marc Rohatiner, who has served as a lay leader with multiple organizations, joined the conversation with Kanefsky and Levy, spiritual leader of Nashuva, a spiritual community that also engages through social service. Valley Beth Shalom’s Rabbi Ed Feinstein served as moderator. 

Levy was decidedly more upbeat in her reaction to the Pew’s findings.

“The Pew study doesn’t scare me; it excites me. It means even more people for me to address,” said Levy, whose services are often an entry point for previously unengaged Jews.

But, Cox pointed out, the problem isn’t that people are less interested in being religious — on the contrary, young people want to be religious but are distrusting of the religious institutions. But it is key, he said, to rethink the approach of using institutions as a way to reach people.

In the future, maybe synagogues should exist, but then again, maybe not, Cox said, arguing that Jewish leaders must be open to anything when it comes to considering how the religion will proceed. 

“How do we retool our religious institutions so we can help people in suspicious mode, in searching mode, so that they can feel they’re not doing it alone? I don’t know. But I know religious institutions are not built for eternity,” he said. “They come and go.”

Kanefsky, however, said that to dismantle the institutions means there is no religion. 

“If you don’t have the scaffolding, it ain’t Judaism,” Kanefsky said.

No direct solutions were agreed upon by the panel. “The challenge is what changes and what doesn’t change,” Feinstein said.

It’s a challenge that affects synagogues as well as the Federation.

“We think challenges faced by synagogues are challenges being faced by us,” said Andrew Cushnir, executive vice president and chief program officer at the Federation, who participated briefly in the panel at the request of Feinstein.

The event was part of the Federation’s mission to work with synagogues to address the needs of the community, Cushnir said. Beryl Geber, Federation senior vice president, organized the conference. 

Other sessions — “Relational Judaism,” “The Impact of New Media on Organizational Loyalties” and “Models of Membership” — made up the remainder of the conference on Sunday, drawing more than 70 attendees.

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