June 25, 2009

If you were the greatest, most eloquent writer in the world, how would you tackle the job of summarizing your feelings for your child?

Resuscitated people who say they’ve glimpsed heaven report that there are luminous colors there we’ve never seen on earth. Perhaps there are also words there wondrous enough to express what we hold in our hearts for our children, but I don’t know what they are. We’re stuck with the thousands of words we know, none of which seem up to the task.

So it’s probably best right now to make your peace with the idea that whatever you say in a speech to your child, however long you go on, it’s never going to feel completely right or sufficient. If you’re making a speech from the bimah, the clergy and congregants would most definitely prefer that you keep your remarks short and to the point. You will have many more chances at the party to speak at length.

Parent speeches seem to fall into a few categories: The ones that are purely about the love, joy and pride we feel as parents; the ones that instruct the child on embracing Judaism; and those that do both.

There is at least one other type of speech: the spoken resume. This is the one that chronicles the child’s every achievement from birth. It sounds like a love-and-pride speech, because the information is presented that way: “and then after you led your team to victory in the semifinals, we were so proud that you were chosen MVP….” But we’re not fooled now, are we? These parents feel that certainly on this day, they’ve got bragging rights, and they aim to use them.

I don’t want to be judgmental, because my children move me to tears and, when faced with doing right by them in a speech, I’m just as perplexed and stammering as the next mom.

What Kids Want Their Parents to Say
First, kids don’t want to be embarrassed, so forget about telling those adorable stories from their baby and childhood years. And second, kids want you to recognize the hard work of bar/bat mitzvah preparation — but don’t detail their struggles. Your child does not want to be viewed as anything other than the cool, commanding individual he/she appears to be today.

It may sound strange, but I think many parents do feel that something changes about their child on bar or bat mitzvah day. Or perhaps something changes about themselves.

The tussles over Torah study are finished. You can’t hold his hand anymore; he goes on alone from here. There’s a great sense of dignity and majesty around him.

You may have heard him chant his portion before in the kitchen, but it’s quite another matter to see him up on the bimah, beautifully dressed, standing before the huge Torah scroll. And to see all eyes turn to him — they don’t see the baby you held in your arms or the goofy boy he was just yesterday. Today, he is a man.

What does your child want you to say before she goes? That you know how hard she worked, how much it took to get here. That you could never take for granted how complicated it is to be young and on the verge of adulthood — wanting to go, longing to stay. That you love the person she is and admire the person she’s becoming. That no matter how far away she goes, you will always be her home.

Listen to OtherParent Speeches
In choosing your own words, it’s a very good idea to attend as many bar and bat mitzvah services at your own synagogue as possible leading up to your own big day. If the synagogue allows parent speeches from the bimah, you will certainly hear enough to know what sounds right to you. You can even grab little phrases here and there that you might want to use.

Not to diminish what is special in each one, but parent speeches over the course of a year become a de facto essay contest, because everyone is trying to do their best with the same topic. You be the judge of who succeeds. Go and learn from them. In addition to the creative inspiration, it will make you very excited about how you’re going to feel when it’s your family’s turn.

Overcoming Your Nervousness
It’s normal to be nervous. On a day when we ask our child to get up in front of 100 people and risk embarrassment, it seems only fair that we should also venture it ourselves.

Fear of public speaking is one of the all-time top phobias. For some reason, most of us would prefer torture of some kind to five minutes in the spotlight being ourselves. If I had to name the fear, I would guess it’s some combination of not wanting to look or sound like an idiot, not wanting to be vulnerable in public and being unsure you have, or are worthy of, your friends’ love and support.

The amazing thing about this fear is that we have it even though we’ve seen countless speakers lovingly and sympathetically supported by audiences not even as intimate and supportive as the one that surrounds us at our child’s simcha. These people are your friends; you’re safe with them. They already know and accept you. They’re here for you. Moreover, everyone knows how hard it is to speak from the heart — one-to-one — much less on stage in front of a crowd.

No one’s going to judge the weaknesses in your performance. On the contrary, when someone gets up and says something we all feel — like what a miracle it is to love and be loved by a child — that’s when the magic happens. There’s instantly a special feeling in the room; the composition of the air seems to change, the way ozone before a thunderstorm makes everything glow.

It’s a sacred moment, a time to look within. So, while you may think everyone is focusing on the shakiness in your voice, they’re not paying attention to that. Nervousness is much less noticeable than it feels. And, if people do notice, they’re happy for you. Because having a voice that shakes with emotion means that you have loved deeply, one measure of a life well lived.

Preparation Is the Key
If you write a speech that you love, you should be excited about actually reading it on the big day. Notice I said “reading” it — a nervous person should not try to memorize, particularly since a lot of the worry will then center on whether, under pressure, you’re going to be able to remember everything just the way you wrote it. Practice your speech aloud, though obviously not in front of anyone who should hear your words for the first time on the big day.

Write your speech on little index cards you can easily tuck into even a small pocket or purse. Reading from cards also gives you a place to look, so you can forget about how many people are actually sitting there listening. If you’re speaking to your child, just look back and forth from that adorable face to the card. Pretend it’s just you and him.

Keep it short — anyone can survive talking for three minutes. Force yourself to breathe slowly and deeply and to talk at a normal pace. Keep in mind that most people have stage fright only before they start speaking — once you’re under way, you’re going to feel fine and maybe even enjoy it.

And remember, according to professional speaker Tom Antion, stage fright actually makes you better looking.

“Fear is your friend,” he said. “It makes your reflexes sharper. It heightens your energy, adds a sparkle to your eye and color to your cheeks. You are more conscious of your posture and breathing. With all these effects, you will actually look healthier and more physically attractive.”

If you’re still scared, think of it this way: You’re the parent of a teenager — nothing’s scarier than that.

You can do this. If public speaking is a fear of yours (as it is of many of the world’s top performers), make yourself give just a little speech. You will finish the bar or bat mitzvah with not just great memories but feelings of real satisfaction and renewed confidence in your own abilities.

Gail A. Greenberg is online at mitzvahchic.com. This article was adapted from a chapter in her best-selling book, “MitzvahChic: How to Host a Bar or Bat Mitzvah That Is Meaningful, Fun and Drop-Dead Gorgeous” (Fireside Books, 2006).

So you want to have a bar or bat mitzvah … good. Here are a few tips on how to make it through the year leading up to the big day.

Managing Parental Stress
First, your parents will inevitably go crazy. Slowly, over time, you’ll see the telltale signs. It is important to detect the early-onset symptoms of a parent’s mounting stress: Are they unusually quiet at the dinner table? Do they sit in a corner making endless lists, humming “Sunrise, Sunset”?

By the time they start nudging you daily about practicing, it is important to take them by the hand, sit them down and pop in an old Betamax of their own embarrassing disco-era bar/bat mitzvah. Watch their service, look over their geeky photos and be sure to ridicule them as much as possible — it takes the edge off for you and reminds them how much work you are putting in. This bonding time with the folks will also help everyone keep things in perspective.

And if things get really tense, there is always a great book called “Who’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah Is This Anyway?” by Judith Davis (St. Martin’s Griffin, 1998). Quickly throw it toward the parental units and make a hasty retreat (or have it anonymously arrive to their attention via Amazon.com).

The Best Time at the Worst Possible Time
The bar/bat mitzvah is held at exactly the wrong time for a young adult to stand up in front of a crowd and proclaim their adulthood. This practice is from the olden days when a 13-year-old would already have his own wife and two kids — so be happy your biggest responsibility is picking the color for the suede kippot.

Your voice will crack up there — your face full of braces, your arms longer than they should be, and a pimple in the center of your nose. Anthropologists will one day use the haircut you’re so sure is timelessly cool right now to determine the exact month the photo was taken (see Mom’s Dorothy Hamill and Dad’s Flock of Seagulls cut).

In the movie, “Keeping the Faith,” Ben Stiller’s rabbi character explains to his vocally challenged bar mitzvah student that he should embrace his “suckiness.” So don’t stress. The truth is it’s not a performance; it’s a time to be with your community and celebrate the process of gaining knowledge and questioning — so enjoy it.

While it may be the most awkward time in life, your bar/bat mitzvah can be one of the best memories in the making, a true accomplishment — this can only happen by taking an active role in your preparation for that day.

For the Right Reasons
Make sure you are having a bar/bat mitzvah for the right reasons. What they don’t tell you is that according to Jewish law, simply turning 13 for boys and 12 for girls makes you a bar/bat mitzvah. So happy birthday — and let’s stop any of this mitzvah mania!

The bar/bat mitzvah ceremony has served to motivate Jews to obtain the first level of learning in Jewish life, but the goal of it really is the process before and the exploration that happens as you head into adulthood. So it is important to remember that preparing for the big day is more about preparing for life. Learn for the sake of learning.

With that spirit in mind, your bar/bat mitzvah can be one of the great milestones of life. You are making a public commitment to your family, your friends and yourself that you will continue to seek out knowledge and to wrestle with what tradition and culture have to offer. All of this said, there is no reason to do something only for the sake of tradition or because everyone is doing it — or because your parents promised you a new iPod or a Shetland pony.

The tradition you are learning about encourages you to question — so do that! Very often, it can feel like we are meant to fit a mold that we had nothing to do with forming. And if through the process of seeking and learning, you find that a bar/bat mitzvah service is not for you right now, there is nothing wrong with saying, “This isn’t for me.” The learning can be done no matter what — this is a great opportunity to study Hebrew, the stories, the history and traditions of the Jewish people, whether you throw a party or not. If anything, a genuine process like this continues the great tradition of questioning the tradition you’ve been handed.

Making It Meaningful
You may be asking yourself: “What can my family and I do to make this sometimes dusty old rite of passage fresh and inspiring?” You can make it your own while incorporating the best that the tradition has to offer.

A couple of helpful tools: Keep a journal during the process and refer back to it so you can chart how far you have come — this can be very fulfilling and a great thing to read when you’re older or show your own child one day.

Be sure you’re keeping in touch with the rabbi, cantor or whoever is officiating about how the service will run. These religious leaders can also be a great resource to you. They are not unapproachable — in fact, they will be thrilled that you are making the effort.

And sit down with your parents and let them know how it is going. Be honest; don’t tell them just what they want to hear. You don’t want to be three weeks out from the big day and only then share with your mom that you never learned how to read Hebrew. Whoops!

Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Any Age
Not everyone is ready to go through the rigorous preparation for a bar/bat mitzvah at 12 or 13. That’s OK! A 16-year-old who is even more mature and comes to this decision on his/her own may have a unique experience that is right for that individual. Many of the smaller synagogues in town will be more than happy to host the bar/bat mitzvah of an older student, who may be at a better position to evaluate all that comes with it. Still other synagogues have adult b’nai mitzvah programs with students older than your parents or grandparents — if you think adolescence is hard, try menopause.

Speaking of which, it would be super cool of you to involve your mom or grandma, who may have been left out of the process when they were children, living in less egalitarian times. It can be a great time in your family’s life, so try to involve everyone, especially younger siblings who definitely want to feel a part of it.

If You Don’t Belong to a Synagogue
If you don’t belong to a synagogue, there are other options, including planning a private service with a tutor/facilitator. Some of the most fun b’nai mitzvah services are the ones in a backyard, in a park or on the beach — Jews can pray anywhere! You could also choose to go to Israel for the big day — this can be a great way to score a free trip out of the folks. But be careful — without the structure of a synagogue program, it is important to find a tutor you really connect with and who is truly capable of coordinating the process. Tell Mom and Dad you want to interview more than one person for the job. 

A private bar/bat mitzvah can be even more personalized, which gives you the opportunity to take a more active role in developing the service. While preparing for a private service, there is a great chance to go shul hopping and see what all different types of services are like. Take this opportunity to check out a Christian service, a Muslim service — or really freak your parents out and tell them you’ve heard great things about the Church of Scientology. Being exposed to different religious experiences will help you in planning yours and give you a chance to see how varied practices are throughout the Jewish community and the world.

What Are You Saying Up There?
Often, b’nai mitzvah students will feel as if they are going through the motions — learning a bunch of gibberish they have not been given a clear understanding of. You’ll hear other kids on the playground say, “Yeah, I memorized it from a CD” or “I can read it, but I have no idea what the heck I’m saying.” These kids are losers.

If you are spending all this time learning a text, ask your tutor to point out the three-letter roots of the Hebrew words as well as go over basic vocabulary, prefixes and suffixes. Find an interlinear translation of the prayers with the English translation for each word written directly underneath each Hebrew word (check out a version of the Artscroll siddur that does just this). Often Hebrew words are a combination of more than one English word, and it can be incredibly fulfilling to “excavate” your passages so when you are reading the Hebrew up there, you have a real connection to what you are saying. Those listening can tell.

Practice Well and Often
It helps all the more with practicing if you know what you are saying. That said, your parents are going to be harping on you night and day to go over your Torah, Haftarah and prayers. Here is how best to handle that situation: Practice several times a week rather than forcing yourself to sit down for one extended practice session. It’s painful to sit there for an hour at a time; 15-25 minute sessions are much more doable and, actually, practicing more often will help you to better retain the text. You may want to practice in earshot of the parents, just to get them off your back.

It is helpful to get into a routine. Find an appointed time of the day — before a favorite TV show, before dinner or after dinner, in the car or on the bus on the way to school. Before bed is always a mistake — you end up falling asleep on your chumash and having nightmares that your father is about to sacrificially slit your throat!

Rabbi for the Day
Write a drash (speech) for the service — one that relates the weekly Torah portion to your own life. You are thinking: How could I possibly do this? True, this is no simple task. But rest assured many less intelligent and able than you have done it before. Yours will not simply be OK, but memorable. The best of speeches are those that culminate from an in-depth process of wrestling with the text, reading commentaries by other thinkers on the subject and talking it out with teachers, friends and parents. It is your chance to teach the community. You are the rabbi for the day.

So make sure it’s your own words — too often we let parents or teachers revise our work, so much that it is almost unrecognizable by the end of the editing process. The best speeches are those that were written by the students themselves and are from the heart. Definitely practice the speech several times and in front of others, but not so much so that it feels overly rehearsed — make sure to look up, smile and talk to us.

Repairing the World
Take on a volunteer service project during your bar/bat mitzvah preparation — it can be a chance to make the world just a little bit better. After all, there is plenty of learning to do outside of class. Many communities will describe this bar/bat mitzvah project as an effort toward tikkun olam (repairing the world). A good resource is SuLam: The Center for Jewish Service Learning (sulamcenter.org), which matches teens with vetted service-learning opportunities throughout Los Angeles.

We all can be overwhelmed by the problems out there in the world that need fixing; but if you hold tight to the notion that each of us can make a difference, one recycled water bottle at a time, you will find an option that will be meaningful to both you and those you are helping. Maybe do something new, something out of your comfort zone. You might say, “Hey, I’ve always wanted to knit blankets for orphan babies, but never had the time,” or “I want to raise money for endangered sharks, but was too scared to do so until now,” or “I know how to single-handedly resolve the Middle East peace process — just give me a chance.” Not to worry, there is an organization for just about everything and they will be happy to have you lend a hand.

The Bar Mitzvah Circuit
Now that you are 13 you have entered what is known as the “Bar Mitzvah Circuit.” Every weekend the question will be: “What time? Which place? What to wear? And who is it this time?”

As if there wasn’t enough pressure, all your friends are there at your bar/bat mitzvah. Try not to worry about what everyone will say about your big day in school on Monday, because by next Monday it’ll be on to some other pimply-faced victim. Don’t feel like your bar/bat mitzvah has to be like everyone else’s, or anyone else’s. The best services and parties are those that feel true to the person they are celebrating — not just having the dancing Lakers girls at the party because your friend Timmy had them.

The Big Day
So, you’ve reached the day in which you proclaim to the world that you are an adult … sort of. A word of caution: Your parents are going to cry. Let them. Also, a lot of people are going to want to kiss you and hug you and want to shake your hand — so be sure to pack hand sanitizer.

So many details will have gone into that day. It’s OK if a couple things go awry. By now you’ve mastered some impressive skills. It’s important to note that even the most accomplished Torah readers have someone next to them, following along, in case they need assistance. So go easy on yourself — it’s OK to make a mistake. Take a deep breath. A good rule of thumb while up in front of everyone — take a moment before each prayer, blessing and reading that you do. Of course, you want to do well and feel accomplished, but everyone sitting out there loves you and wants you to be great. As a last resort, you can always imagine everyone in his or her underwear … except Aunt Phyllis — that would make anybody nervous.

Todd Shotz is the founder of Hebrew Helpers (hebrewhelpers.com), a Los Angeles-based bar/bat mitzvah tutoring service, which works both in conjunction with many area synagogues as well as with families planning private services.

Who believes that the 13-year-old standing before the congregation is really a man or woman?

The bar/bat mitzvah ushers a child into the responsibilities of adulthood. It is not intended to magically transform a child into an adult. It is not about being a man or woman; it is about becoming one.

Judging by the way some families celebrate this simcha (joy), it does not succeed in transforming the parents into adults either. The sobriety, responsibility and seriousness of bearing the message of Torah into the world is, to say the least, incompatible with a girl wearing a gold crown and sitting astride a bejeweled horse while being led onto the yacht club’s strobe-lit dance floor.

At its best the bar or bat mitzvah is an assumption of the threefold-cord that binds our tradition: God, Torah and Israel.

God
This moment is the first free acknowledgment of the sovereignty of God. The tradition takes that responsibility seriously; if a child has been converted before b’nai mitzvah age, he or she can renounce the conversion at this age. For now the choice is fully understood.

This acknowledgment of God should be a powerful and humbling moment. God may be the same everywhere, but human beings are not. A bar mitzvah stands before creation and Creator, acknowledging that ultimate authority lies beyond the individual. The world is not random and pointless; a bar mitzvah is an assertion of the meaningfulness of God’s world and our place in it.

Torah
Being called up to the Torah is an implicit commitment to a lifetime of learning. The Torah is a book of the desert; the message is that in this unredeemed world, we all live in the wilderness. Everyone will encounter pain, loss, challenge and trial. If we assume that painlessness and lavishness are the birthright of our children, we lie to ourselves and to them about the world they will inherit. The Torah is wiser and truer. It is our map through the wilderness.

Israel
Finally, the bar or bat mitzvah comes before a community. The student steps into a line much larger than himself, his family, larger even than the Jewish world. She stands in the same trajectory as countless others before her, sharing a covenant of both history and destiny.

That sounds monumental for a 13-year-old. Yet the task is not too great. Rather we have sadly diminished our concept of what a human being at that age can be and achieve. With all the celebratory excess, we forget that the measure of a person’s worth is reflected not in what we give them but what we ask of them.

So each bar and bat mitzvah should be like every other. The desire to make one unique is a betrayal of its purpose. The point is to stand in a known place, a place reserved for Jews throughout history. This is the line of continuity. There is no line if each person stands aslant the other.

If we ask ourselves why in the modern world we still celebrate a bar mitzvah at 13, the tradition’s answer is clear. Everything has changed since the time of Abraham and Sarah, Moses and Ruth — language, dress, technology — everything except human nature.

The student is not a grown-up. For many reasons the entrance to marriage and the workplace are later than they once were. But biologically a child of this age is beginning the processes of growing up, just as children did in the time of the Bible and Talmud. Since Judaism honors culture, but is not enslaved to it, it makes sense to have our ceremony tied to something enduring — the way God made us, not the way society right now would have us be.

A child stands before the congregation not when he or she is an adult. We bring them before the congregation when they are on the portal of adulthood. If we are wise, we show them a vision of responsibility and possibility.

We celebrate what they might become. With joy but also trembling we hand them a sacred, cherished and ancient legacy. Then we embrace our child, tears in our eyes, conscious of the beautiful and painful passing of time, and we pray.

David Wolpe is senior rabbi of Sinai Temple (sinaitemple.org), a Conservative congregation in West Los Angeles.

Most parents are willing to do anything to make their kids’ dream bar or bat mitzvah celebration come true, even if it means fulfilling rock-star ambitions — be they genuine or virtual.

If your son or daughter spends hours in the garage jamming on a guitar with friends or in front of the television on guitar-shaped peripherals playing games like “Guitar Hero” or “Rock Band,” venues around Southern California are ready and willing to host rock-themed bar or bat mitzvah celebrations.

West Hollywood’s House of Blues Sunset, the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills, the Knitting Factory and Level 3 in Hollywood, and downtown’s Club Nokia and Grammy Museum at L.A. Live are among some L.A. rock destinations opening their doors for simchas. Room rentals range from as little as $500 to as much as $20,000, and setup and pricing systems vary between the venues.

As with any celebration, factors to consider include occupancy limits, catering, staffing and parking. But since your newly minted son or daughter of the commandment wants to live in the limelight a little longer, it’s also important to consider essentials like lighting, a sound system as well as a digital projector and screen.

When can we have the party?
The House of Blues, the Knitting Factory, Club Nokia, the Saban Theatre and the Grammy Museum offer private parties seven days a week, day or night, depending on what’s already booked for that week. Level 3 Hollywood cannot rent the venue on Saturday evenings from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. because of an ongoing promotion with local radio station 102.7 KIIS-FM, which broadcasts live from the venue during those hours; their busiest bar/bat mitzvah times are Sundays 5 p.m.-9 p.m.

How long do we have the room?
At the House of Blues, a basic party is a four-hour event combined with a two- to three-hour lead time for load-in and setup. If the event is extremely large, the club is even willing to allow for a full day of loading, if necessary. A 2 a.m. closing time is the only absolute deadline at the Knitting Factory; the party must be wrapped up by then. Club Nokia, Level 3 Hollywood and the Saban Theatre have nothing set in stone, so times are negotiable. And a three-hour window is the preferred time span for rentals at the Grammy Museum.

How many people Can We accommodate?
Whether you have 20 friends or as many as 2,000, the House of Blues can comfortably fit all of them. Your range of friends can be 100-1,000 if you wish to take them to the Knitting Factory. The VIP room at Club Nokia can hold 50-350 people, but you can also pack in more than 2,300 people if you combine the VIP area with the main floor. The maximum capacity of Level 3 Hollywood is 600 guests, but even 200 people makes for a nice-sized party with ample room to dance and roam around. The lobby of the Saban Theatre can accommodate 500 guests comfortably. The Grammy Museum and its terrace combined house 400 partygoers.

How much will it cost?
Each venue sets their own standard for a basic rental cost so let’s begin with the starting prices. For the House of Blues Sunset, their daytime rates start at $5,000 for the Foundation Room or Porch Restaurant and $7,500 for their famous music hall. Their nighttime events start at $10,000 for the Foundation and Porch rooms, and the main hall can be yours for $15,000. The Knitting Factory has three rooms available with 21 different starting prices, but as a general guideline they have rooms starting at $1,100 and can go as high as $20,000 based on which room it is and what day it is. Club Nokia sets their price range from $500 to $15,000 depending on how fancy you want to get. Level 3 Hollywood has a basic rental price of $4,000. The Saban Theatre begins its pricing at $2,500 for the lobby alone. And you can set up shop at the Grammy Museum, including the terrace, for the beginning rate of $12,500.

What does all that money include?
For the House of Blues, the special events prices include all of their staff — from cocktail and food servers to bartenders and security. It also includes their tables, chairs, linens and props. The Knitting Factory tailors the event to suit your needs, so depending on what you want, they can most likely give you what you need and ignore what you don’t. Club Nokia gives you a four-walls rental, which includes all staffing and equipment. A rental at Level 3 Hollywood provides the venue, security and staffing for each event. Because they do not have a lighting and sound technician regularly on staff, an additional fee is required for this. The Saban Theatre’s rental fee is for use of the space only, but they do give special discounts to nonprofit organizations. Custodial, steward or security fees are an additional cost. The Grammy Museum gives you access to its space, but charges extra for insurance, wireless Internet, information technology support, extra staffing or entertainment and tenting.

Is access to the stage, soundand lighting systems included?
If you rent out the music hall or do a whole-house buyout at the House of Blues, that guarantees the use of their state-of-the-art sound and lighting system, which is operated by their in-house production team. However, there is an additional production fee depending on what the setup is. At the Knitting Factory, each room has its own stage with a lighting and PA system, so there are many options. They also have a video exhibition system including drop-down screens with digital projectors. Rentals include access to all the technology except for their in-house HD camera system. The standard sound and lighting package is included in basic costs for Club Nokia, Level 3 Hollywood and the Grammy Museum. The Saban Theatre negotiates the cost of sound and lighting system access according to the specifics of the event.

Can we play ‘Guitar Hero,’and does it cost more for the projection screen?
Denise Ronayne from the House of Blues said, “Our stage and venue is the perfect spot for ‘Guitar Hero’ or ‘Rock Band.’ We have done this here many, many times and the guests love it.” And happily, there is no additional cost for the projection screen.
Melissa Goodman from the Knitting Factory points out that, “We have the ability to set up for any screening, video games or presentations. However, for our smallest room, the Alterknit Lounge, screens must be brought in.”
Club Nokia’s rep, Mark Girton, said that they can provide a “Guitar Hero”-equipped area as needed, but they do not have a projection screen, so one must be brought in at an additional fee. 
Julie Briggs of Level 3 Hollywood is proud of the three screens over their dance floor and stage area. “There are also three plasma TVs at the entrance and two large spheres over the bar that project images. If you bring any DVD, they can route these images to any or all of these,” she said. They also have six Gobo lights to project any band logos. These high-tech gadgets are the reason that an additional fee is necessary for a tech expert.
The Saban Theatre has access to a movie screen that runs the width of the stage, and they do not charge extra for its usage.
The Grammy Museum also has the ability to set up for some rockin’ out to “Guitar Hero.”

Is catering included?
The House of Blues has three kitchens and two restaurants, and offers a wide variety of menu options for any private event, but they do allow some outside caterers to come in to host parties if so desired. The Knitting Factory typically does not allow any outside catering unless there is a kosher requirement. They have an exclusive partnership with a premiere Hollywood caterer that provides all their catering. Wolfgang Puck is the exclusive caterer for Club Nokia and the Grammy Museum. Level 3 Hollywood can provide a kitchen for an outside caterer or the restaurant next door is willing to provide any food needs. Kosher caterers are often brought in for Level 3 Hollywood events. Outside caterers are allowed at the Saban Theatre, but any caterer you plan on using must provide a certificate of insurance. Also keep in mind that for all venues, these fees do not include alcohol. If you want to keep the adults at the party happy with alcohol, you will have to shell out more money, and the amount will vary depending on whether it’s beer and wine or the hard stuff.

What about parking?
Valet service is offered at the House of Blues. For daytime events, the parking is $10 per car and it goes up to $15 for nighttime events. The parking at the Knitting Factory is handled by an outside company so they can help arrange for parking in the complex’s four-level parking structure, but they do not offer valet parking. For Level 3 Hollywood, parking at the Hollywood and Highland complex is fairly easy. With a validation from their venue, there is no charge for self-parking. Without a validation, there is a $2 charge for a four-hour period, with a maximum of $10 per day. There is also a $10 charge if you want the valets to park your vehicle. For Saban Theatre parking, the surrounding garages charge $10-$15 per car. At the Grammy Museum, parking is not included in the rental price, but they do have the ability to tack on validations for guests if it’s within the planner’s budget. That price will vary between $10-$20 per car. At Club Nokia, parking is not included in the basic rental cost. Parking at surrounding lots ranges from $5-$25 per car.

How far in advance do we need to book the venue?
The best thing to do for any venue, no matter what timetable you have, is to call and ask. But six to 12 months is a standard amount of notice for the House of Blues. Four to five months before is good enough for a Knitting Factory booking. For Club Nokia, certain parts of the year are busier than others. The staff at Level 3 Hollywood said they are used to the “drop-of-a-hat nature of Hollywood” and have accommodated last-minute bookings, but most clients prefer to book from four to six months out. The Saban Theatre’s Esther Adir said their availability varies — “We have had a wedding in the rotunda that was only booked four days in advance.” And Marcie Booth of the Grammy Museum said about booking, “The earlier the better.”

The main thing to keep in mind with any venue you choose is that all of them are willing to negotiate for the specific needs of the event. They want to please the guests, so don’t be afraid to make special requests. And don’t forget to have fun yourself — because for at least one day, you will be the proud parent of a world-famous rock star.