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Jewish Journal

Connect. Inform. Inspire.

October 7, 1999

More than a Birthright

Leave a Comment / Israel, Old Stories /

Having recently become excited about her Jewish heritage, Michelle Block wants to start off the new millennium with a trip to Israel. And thanks to a new program created by a group of American billionaires and the Israeli government, this Cal State Northridge student just might get the chance, and she won’t have to pay a nickel, or a shekel, either. That’s right — a free trip. Free flight, free lodging, free tour.

Block’s wish is to be among 5,000 Jewish college students from North America who will go to Israel in January as participants in Birthright Israel, an ambitious, new project that organizers call “a gift from one generation to the next.”

The idea for the program began a few years back, when Yossi Beilin of Israel’s Labor Party told American philanthropist Michael Steinhardt that a stay in Israel should be a universal experience for all young Diaspora Jews.

Steinhardt, in turn, approached Charles Bronfman, who had long contributed toward Israel trips for Jewish teen-agers. Steinhardt and Bronfman envisioned a series of no-cost, no-strings-attached study tours, through which young adults who were previously disengaged from Jewish life could discover a sense of connection with the Jewish people worldwide.

To help fund the initial five-year project, five North American businessmen have each contributed $5 million, and the Israeli government has pledged to chip in $100 million. (Mark Charendoff, vice president of the Andrea and Charles Bronfman Philanthropies, claims this is the first time that Israel is giving Diaspora Jews financial help unrelated to rescue and resettlement.) Additional sums may come from Jewish communities around the globe.

Of the 5,000 students coming from North America, two-thirds will travel in groups organized and staffed through Hillel’s Israel 2000. Others will take advantage of trips offered through religious youth groups and other special-interest Jewish organizations.

This range of options reflects the funders’ dedication to a free-market approach. Says Charendoff, “Nike has a lot of different types of shoes out there.” Research also shows that marginally affiliated Jews respond best to a variety of choices, he says.

One big question about Birthright has long been, Will marginal Jews respond at all? Based on the applications now flooding in, there’s clear evidence that young Jews — however detached they may be from formal Jewish life — are hungry to know more about their ancient homeland.

Hillel’s Israel 2000 requires applicants to submit their forms via the Internet. Keith Krivitzky, national director of Israel 2000, notes that these electronic forms were first made available on Sept. 1, long before many colleges were back in session. Three weeks later, there were 6,200 applications for 3,000 spaces, and many more were expected to arrive before the Sept. 30 deadline. There are 200 available slots in the Southern California area.

Hillel’s campus-based approach mandates that students travel with peers from their own universities. It is up to each local Hillel to select an appropriate mix from among the applicants, who have a wide range of cultural backgrounds, political slants and levels of religious conviction. There is one key condition: Students must never before have visited Israel on an organized educational program. Beyond that, campus Hillels can name their own criteria.

Some are gearing the trip toward freshmen and sophomores, toward those with leadership potential, or toward, for instance, athletes or members of fraternal organizations. Many schools, among them Hillel at Pierce and Valley Colleges, may resort to a lottery to choose among prospective travelers.

CSUN Hillel has been allotted 20 spaces, and Block, the chapter’s incoming president, is among the school’s applicants. She hopes the decision-makers will focus on students who are passionately interested in Israel, weeding out those who are merely after a free trip.

While Program Director Noah Bleich of the Claremont Colleges Hillel says he’ll give preference to students already active in his chapter, the Birthright’s true intent, as spelled out in materials circulated among Hillel staffs, is that “the majority of participants should be those who have not been involved in Jewish life on campus.”

Once the 10 days are over, however, no traveler is required to formally connect with Hillel. Organizers trust that the combination of a thought-provoking trip and what national Hillel executive Rhoda Weisman calls, “the magic that Israel has to offer,” will lead returnees to gravitate naturally into the campus Jewish community, and perhaps become its future leaders.

UCLA will have no trouble filling its 40 slots. That many of the Jewish students are opting for a flight to Israel instead of the traditional winter-break ski trip has left Hillel Rabbi Chaim Seidler-Feller both surprised and overjoyed. He admits that he was initially skeptical about Israel 2000. But he says now: “I’ve warmed up to the idea myself and become excited. There’s something important going on here.”

As a result of the Birthright concept, he sees the potential for many bright, sensitive college students rediscovering their Jewish identity. But, he insists, “the obligation is on us, on the programmers,” to provide a trip with enough intellectual and spiritual content to capitalize on the students’ curiosity about their Jewish roots.

Says Seidler-Feller: “This is an amazing gift — as good as it gets. Let’s hope we are good guardians of the project.”

One staffer who will bear direct responsibility for the success of the UCLA trip is Andrea Nussbaum. As UCLA Hillel’s program director, Nussbaum will travel with the students, share their adventures, and help mold them into a cohesive unit. Along with Hillel travel leaders from other campuses, she will first participate in several in-depth training sessions, at which topics such as group dynamics — and how to make it safe for students to express their feelings — will be given high priority. She will also receive guidance in planning meaningful follow-up activities after her group returns home.

Nussbaum, an experienced leader of student Israel trips, is optimistic about what Israel 2000 will accomplish. She says: “A lot can happen in 10 days. I think it really can change the face of the Jewish community. I think we’re changing history.”

More than a Birthright Read More »

Use It or Lose It

Leave a Comment / Health, Old Stories /

The other day, an older client said to me, “I’ve reached that point in my life where the only thing I want to exercise is caution.”

Just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we can slack off on exercise. You can choose to be 20-years-old or 50-years-young. The difference is often in how well we take care of ourselves — and that means exercise and eating right..

Throughout history our mere existence demanded a level of physical activity and movement that made resting time a luxury. Nowadays, we have become so sedentary that we need to exercise apart from our daily living. Most people do not fish, hunt or work the fields anymore. Nor do they walk or run long distances to work or chop down trees. Most of us sit while we work, travel and navigate through our daily activities. We therefore have a need to create “the exercise period.”

The same goes for what we eat. Thanks to modernization and industrialization, fast foods have become a part of our daily diet. Too bad, because diet has the unique distinction of being one of the few major health determinants that is completely under our control. You can’t always control the quality of the air you breathe, the noise you are subjected to or the emotional surrounding climate, but you can control what you eat.

The American food pyramid for the 50-plus population recommends the following daily portions:

A vitamin supplement with calcium, vitamin C, vitamin D, all the B complex vitamins, vitamin E and Minerals (especially selenium). The use of fats, oils and sweets sparingly.

At least two 3 ounce servings of protein (including poultry, fish, beans, eggs or egg whites, nuts, soy, and less frequently meat)

2-3 servings of nonfat milk, cheese, yogurt.

At least 3 servings of cooked or raw vegetables.

6 (70 calorie) servings of high fiber, whole grain breads, cereals, rice, pasta.

At least 8 glasses of water.

In addition, small amounts of flaxseed and the use of green tea is also helpful. Obviously these new recommendations evolved to partially address the health related risks in an older population, including cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis, diverticulosis and anemia.

This modified pyramid coupled with a regular exercise program will help seniors get on the right track to health.

The five core elements of exercise for this group include:

Aerobic Conditioning. Aerobic fitness is the ability to take in, transport and utilize oxygen more efficiently. Aerobic fitness can be influenced by heredity, age, gender and current body fat status. There are many ways that disease processes can interfere with the ability to reach this aerobic fitness. Individuals with emphysema and other lung diseases will be limited in the ability of the respiratory system to extract oxygen from the environment and deliver it to the blood. Those with heart disease will be limited by the ability of the heart to deliver oxygenated blood to the muscles being used. In addition, those with circulation problems will find it difficult to use certain muscles for exercise if blood cannot reach them when needed in greater demand. Your aerobic fitness program should be designed individually, taking into account various possible limitations. Examples of aerobic exercise include bicycling, use of a treadmill, outdoor walk/jog, cross country ski, stairmaster and step/dance aerobics. Your choice should be based on your abilities and limitations, but more importantly whatever brings great enjoyment. Remember, a warm up period before starting your activity as well as a cool down/ stretch period will protect you from annoying post exercise complications.

Strength and resistance training We can now, thanks to studies done in the last decade, emphatically state that muscular fitness tremendously impacts one’s health. Fit muscles increase muscle mass which in turn helps to burn fat. In addition, exercises that cause muscular development also help prevent the crippling bone demineralization known as osteoporosis. In this age population, strength and resistance training helps insure one’s independence and mobility in the coming retirement years The old adage “use them or lose them” has never been more important. Methods of this discipline include the use of free weights. This is the cheapest and most versatile application, however supervision is often needed for safety. Weight machines are another convenient option and require less supervision. If you are inexperienced, invest in several sessions with a trainer to familiarize yourself with the set up and use of the equipment. Make sure that the training session is appropriate to your age needs, level of fitness and abilities.

Flexibility This aspect of training focuses on altering the limits of motion imposed by connective tissue restriction and lack of muscle use. Injuries often occur due to decreasing flexibility in individuals. Low back pain specifically is commonly associated with poor back and hamstring flexibility as well as weak abdominal muscles. A warm up prior to stretching will help enhance muscle and joint flexibility. At minimum, stretching should take place for several minutes after aerobic or strength training.

Balance and agility Dancing, tai chi, martial arts and tennis are few enjoyable options that can help you in this area.

Stress Reduction Through yoga, tai chi, meditation, walking and swimming will round out the fifth component in the five core elements to long-term fitness and health.

Clearly there are specific eating plans and exercise programs to address individual health issues. Allied health professional with specific expertise can help in these areas. The reference books listed below can help you get started. But the important thing is to start, now. Getting older should be an adventure, not a problem.

Amy Hendel R-Pac, AFAA, IDEA is a certified personal trainer/nutritionist as well as a physicians assistant. She runs a private consulting firm “One on One Fitness” in Encino, Ca. She is also originator/coordinator of “Body Jam” a bootcamp and kickboxing facility in Encino.

Health Reference

Recommended reading and reference books for healthy aging:

“Natural Health, Natural Medicine” Andrew Weil, M.D.

“Fitness and Health” Brian J Sharkey, PhD

“ACSM Fitness Book,” 2nd Edition

Use It or Lose It Read More »

Middle East Peace Through Music

Leave a Comment / Old Stories /

Can music be a catalyst for peace in the Middle East? His Holiness the Dalai Lama thinks so, and he’s not alone. An A-list of Jewish and Arab musicians and music experts are lending their support to “The World Festival of Sacred Music-The Americas,” the Dalai Lama’s mammoth concert series that begins this weekend and continues for nine days. According to Jordan Elgrably, founder and creative director of Ivri-NASAWI (Sephardic and Mizrahi music), the Dalai Lama believes musicians can set an example of cross-cultural cooperation through their harmonious behavior. Whether the performances will ease tensions in Israel remains to be seen, but their efforts should prove dazzling.

The most notable example of cross-cultural cooperation will take place at the John Anson Ford Amphitheater on Saturday, October 16 at 7:00 p.m. with the “Poetry of Peace” concert. The concert, produced by Elgrably, features Omar Faruk Tekbilek, who is of Turkish and Egyptian heritage, and the Israeli group “Sheva,” that includes both Jewish and Arab members as well as guests Ali Jihad Racy, Jai Uttal and Adam del Monte. The concert is hosted by Neal Brostoff, director of Cultural Affairs for the Israeli Consulate.

Middle East Peace Through Music Read More »

Waiting for the X

Leave a Comment / Old Stories /

To please Holocaust survivors and Jewish advocacy groups or to please the insurance companies. That’s the question Gov. Gray Davis faces this week as Assembly Bill 600 sits on his desk, awaiting his approval.

Advocates for the measure — which includes the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles — say if it becomes law, it would resolve outstanding Holocaust-era insurance claims.

Opponents of the bill — the Alliance of American Insurers — disagree. They maintain that the existing law already takes care of the policyholders — Holocaust survivors or their descendants. If Davis signs AB 600 into law, they claim, it will place an undue burden on insurance companies doing business in California.

Last year, then-Gov. Pete Wilson vetoed a similar measure, but, using similar arguments, instead signed into law a bill that authorized the California Department of Insurance to investigate and recover unpaid Holocaust claims. Insurance companies are a flush source of campaign contributions in the state, contributing to both parties.

According to bill author Assemblyman Wally Knox, D-Los Angeles, AB 600 would “force insurance companies to disclose policyholders from the Holocaust era,” enabling those survivors who have a claim but no paperwork to start collecting against the old policy.

Once signed into law, insurance companies would be required within six months to disclose information to the California Department of Insurance. If they fail to do so, “then the state Department of Insurance would take away their authority to operate in the state,” says Knox.

As of Tuesday, Terri Smooke, Davis’ representative to the Jewish community, says she has received no word on whether Davis will sign the bill.

“I have absolutely no knowledge at this time, and as you, I’m very hopeful,” she said.

Davis has until midnight, Oct. 10, to sign the bill or veto it.

Arthur Stern, a Holocaust survivor, says the new bill provides a chance for Davis to show his “true colors.” Stern, who also heads up the Federation committee that oversees Holocaust-era insurance policies, says current law allows people to make claims against insurance companies such as Italy’s Assicurazioni Generali, but it still requires them to prove their claims or submit death certificates.

The problem is that only 3 percent to 5 percent of those entitled to money have the appropriate documents, says Stern. Most of the policyholders lost their papers or, in some cases, had them destroyed when they were rounded up by the Nazis. Nor do many of the descendants of those killed have death certificates; they were not issued in many death camps.

“The interests of the vast majority of the survivors and heirs are to have the names and addresses of the bearers published,” says Stern. “You can see from the insurance companies that this is the last thing they want to do. Why? Because it would reveal their fundamental dishonesty that they’ve sustained for 50 years.”

Stern himself has a case pending against insurance companies for a Holocaust-era policy, but he says if he recovers money, he will donate it to charity. For him, the issue is not money; it’s justice.

“I feel that the behavior of the insurance companies within the norms of our civilization is simply incredible,” he says. “Most of us abide by the rule that you don’t steal, at least not publicly, but the insurance companies have stolen publicly.”

Generali had brokered a deal in September 1998, whereby it would settle the claims of policyholders now covered under existing law, but it backed out when negotiators refused to have policyholders relinquish any future claims.

To Stern, that’s a deal that won’t help the majority of the survivors or their descendants.

“The insurance companies would like to make a global settlement,” he says. “The settlement would be several million dollars, but who would get the money? Those people who have the policies and sponsoring organizations.”

Waiting for the X Read More »

To Life!

Leave a Comment / Old Stories /

Benjamin Kadish is a very lucky kid. The most critically injured of the five North Valley Jewish Community Center shooting victims is home and doing well. Despite his lengthy hospital stay and his often painful recovery from his wounds, he is warm and outgoing, even performing a magic trick for a visitor. He chatters happily about his ride home on a fire truck from his latest hospital stay at Kaiser Permanente Woodland Hills, a gift from Engine Company 72, whose personnel were the first on the scene that terrible day last August when all hell broke loose at the JCC.

Benjamin wants to be a firefighter himself someday. On his bed hangs a helmet, courtesy of Engine Co. 72 — a real fire helmet “not a toy one,” he explains.

“All I need now is a fire jacket,” Ben said, with a grin of confidence.

Benjamin faces his next surgery on Oct. 6, his sixth birthday, to remove the colostomy bag he has needed since the shooting. Benjamin will then undergo at least one other procedure to remove the pins in his leg. Currently, he receives physical therapy at home and is visited daily during the week by a tutor from LAUSD, so he will not fall behind his first grade class at the local elementary school.

Although Benjamin will miss celebrating this very special birthday, his family wants to thank the many people who made it possible for Ben to be here for it. Toward that end, the Kadishes are planning a private party Oct. 23 — and they are asking for the community’s help. The Bell Canyon Home Owner’s Association has graciously extended the use of their social hall and Wright Graphics has agreed to provide invitations. The family now seeks donations of refreshments, decorations and other party goods.

“Until now, we have chosen to keep this a private family matter Our energies (were) focused only on Ben’s recovery,” said close family friend Maureen Chase. “Now we want to celebrate the dedication of the paramedics of the Los Angeles Fire Department and the medical staffs of Providence Holy Cross Hospital, Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles and Kaiser Permanente of Woodland Hills for giving Ben his sixth birthday. We want to celebrate Ben in a manner befitting what he has overcome so far.”

Charles Kadish, Benjamin’s father, praised Rabbi Ron Herstik and the congregation of Temple Solael, for their support during this ordeal. The Temple set up a fund following the incident to help offset the cost of Benjamin’s care. Both Charles, an electrical contractor and owner of Above All Electric, and his wife Eleanor have devoted themselves full-time to their son’s recovery.

Kadish said he will never get over the miracle of his son’s survival.

“All these people coming together at just the right time (to save Ben’s life) — it was like a philharmonic orchestra, all playing in tune,” he said.

Those interested in making a donation are asked to contact Sandy Weiss of Temple Solael Sisterhood at (818) 888-1885.

To Life! Read More »

A Goal Beyond Winning

Leave a Comment / Old Stories /

Dr. Jerry Bobrow remembers it well. The year was 1990. The place: The Palace, in the Auburn Hills district of Detroit.

There in the bleachers, among 16,000 people at the Maccabi Games, is Bobrow and his youngest son, Jonathan.

As the Russian delegation of athletes entered the arena to the roar of the crowd, the younger Bobrow looked around himself in wonder, then turned to his father.

“You mean all the people in this row are Jewish,” the boy asked.

Recalls Bobrow, “I said, ‘Jonathan, all the people in the whole place are Jewish.’ And his eyes kind of lit up [as] he realized the magnitude of the whole thing.”

Jerry Bobrow has proudly served as the chairman of the Los Angeles Organizing Committee for the Jewish Community Center’s Maccabi Games for 11 years, dating back almost to the inception of the program. Created in 1982, the first Maccabi games were held in Detroit in 1984, and, over the years, the final competitions have moved around — Toronto, Chicago, Detroit again, Baltimore, Cleveland. Since 1982, over 25,000 Jewish athletes between the ages of 13 and 16 from all over the world — Israel, Britain, Mexico — have taken part in this program.

This August, two delegations from L.A., nearly 200 athletes, were dispatched to Rochester, New York, and Cherry Hill, New Jersey, to compete. At each of these delegations, Team Los Angeles won medals in every division, including baseball, golf, tennis, table tennis, in-line hockey, volleyball, basketball, swimming and track and field.

Bobrow’s own three children have all enjoyed victorious stints with the Maccabi Games. Bobrow’s daughter, Jennifer, competed on the first girls soccer team and helped them win silver and gold. Older son, Adam, competed in four different sports and won medals in all of them. And his youngest son won silver medals in table tennis and a gold medal in baseball. But Bobrow is proud to say that he’s been involved with the Maccabi Games even before his own children ever started competing.

“It’s a wonderful, athletic experience, but it’s also a great excuse to get Jewish kids together,” says Bobrow, clearly enchanted with the concept. “You really can’t explain what the experience is like. It’s much, much more than just an athletic event.”

Technically, Phillip Bendetson, 48, is a real estate investment banker. But to the boys who’ve played over the last five years on the L.A. soccer team, Bendetson is better known as an outstanding coach who has led his team to gold medal victories every year, including 1999. But while Bendetson considers it a nice by-product, triumphing is not the primary goal of the Maccabi Games.

“Winning and losing aside,” says Bendetson, “it’s about the kids from different backgrounds coming together… It’s a lifelong memory that they will hold onto.”

Two weeks before competing, Bendetson’s team members live together and attend training camp twice a day.

Strengthening the bond between the kids is the program’s Jewish content. He says that this August, the Maccabi kids marched around Rochester from temple to temple, donating kosher canned goods for various food pantries. His players also met up for Shabbat dinners with the girls soccer team.

As a testament to the strength of the Maccabi program, several former participants have gone on to viable athletic careers, such as record-breaking swimmer Lenny Krayzelberg, who competed at Detroit. And many teens return to coach the new recruits.

Soccer player Itzik Rapaport, who this year made all three goals in the final, gold-winning game at Rochester, has nothing but praise for his three years with Maccabi. Says the 17-year-old Canoga Park resident, “We get really close. There’s a lot of unity…when you’re with the same boys, you form a bond…The people around us, they care so much about us.”

Rapaport, along with Amir Benakote, 16, and Bendetson’s 16-year-old son, Benjamin, are all captains on the L.A. boys soccer team. Rapaport singles out coaches Kobi Goren and Bendetson for making the Maccabi Games a great experience. He also adds that his involvement has taught him a lot about leadership and of friendship.

“My four best friends are from the program,” says Rapaport. “I would have to say it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Closing out his fourth year with Maccabi, Benakote says he loves what the athletic program has offered him.

“It’s always awesome,” says the Calabasas High School student. “The L.A. soccer team is really tight…so we have a really good time…When you’re with your team, it’s a lot better. Plus you’re with all Jewish people and you have a good sense of community.”

In December, when the West Valley Jewish Community Center opens their new gym, Bobrow says that two walls will be devoted to the Games. And the doctor is already looking forward to next year when he expects over 200 L.A. athletes to converge in Tucson, Cincinnati, and Richmond for competitions. After all, year in, year out, he observes firsthand the impact that this athletic experience makes on participating teens.

“Aside from the fact that they come out typically with a lot of friends,” says Bobrow, “I think they come out with a stronger sense of Jewish identity.”

Teens ages 13-16 interested in participating in the Maccabi Games can contact the West Valley Jewish Community Center at (818) 464-3294.

Medal count at this year’s Maccabi Games

August 15-20, 1999

Rochester, N.Y.

Boys Baseball (13-14) Gold

Girls Softball (16 and under) Gold

Boys Soccer (16 and under) Gold

Girls Soccer (16 and under) 5th place

Girls Volleyball (16 and under) Silver

Boys Basketball (13-14) Silver

Table Tennis 6 Gold, 4 Silver, 4 Bronze

Tennis 5 Gold, 5 Silver, 3 Bronze

Cherry Hill, N.J.

Boys Baseball (15-16) Gold

Boys Baseball (13-14) Bronze

Boys Basketball (16 and under) Silver

Girls Basketball (16 and under) Silver

In-Line Hockey (16 and under) Silver

Track and Field 12 Gold, 13 Silver, 8 Bronze

Swimming 8 Gold, 20 Silver, 17 Bronze

Golf (13-14) 1 Gold; (15-16) 4th place finish.

A Goal Beyond Winning Read More »

Digging in Deep

Leave a Comment / Old Stories, Womans Voice /

My daughter, Samantha, has a request.

“Next year,” she says, “can’t we put the sukkah on the other side of the house?” She explains that if we move the wooden lean-to from the garden to the level, concrete slab, we won’t spend the autumn nights pulling the legs of the folding chairs out of the dirt as we did this time. It would be nice if our guests could eat sitting upright.

I am floored to find her thinking about next year at home, and the sukkah we’ll build. For me, next fall is a huge black hole. The sukkah will be there, but Samantha, having moved on to college, will probably be gone.

The thought’s a killer.

My own senior year in high school has long-ago been composted, mashed into decayed memories that only very recently became fertile ground. I can’t separate the debris of high school from the vitality of college, or myself from my mom. What I recall is that we spent many arduous years trying to accomplish what the orchid and bromeliad do naturally; splitting off into independent beings.

Only part of the problem was money. My parents didn’t know they were pinching me at the roots, having insisted since sixth grade that there was a perfectly good local college I could attend for free.

The larger problem was cultural expectations: no one in my family had gone to college, none had lived away from home before marriage. None of my parents’ siblings ever lived more than an hour drive from Grandpa or each other. I was expected to live as they had lived, for what else was there? There was simply no guide-book for parents on how to prepare a child for an autonomous life.

And then there was the bigger issue: my mother’s own unblossomed hopes. Mom was way ahead of her time, a woman who did not need a women’s movement to tell her that her energies and smarts deserved a more hospitable soil than Eisenhower’s America, and the Little Woman with the Apron who earned her “pin money” typing envelopes and balancing corporate books. When my mother went off to work, the neighbors leaned out the window.

“What’s the matter, your husband can’t support you?” one asked.

Until the day she graduated from college, at age 59, my mother resented my opportunities, if not exactly me.

Well, OK, it’s all ancient history now. Samantha knows that college is expected, and none of it is free. She’s already lived across country, knows how to use an ATM and e-mail; freedom is part of our family terrain. I resent her nothing.

But if everything is as expected, why then the sense that the ground is shifting, and that my leg is stuck in deep soil? I am prepared for everything it seems, but the depth of family love.

The myth of Family Love, as the women’s movement explained it to me, is that it is stronger at the root; most intense when the children are infants, growing to strange antipathy during the teen years, then finally restoring itself to respect when the children are adults.

Therefore: For independent women, the best recourse is satisfying work at an early age. A woman who maintains her career, keeps networking and growing, keeps a healthy social life with friends, husband or lovers, keeps her resume fresh and her skills in the public eye, will protect herself from unnecessary pain when the children leave.

O.K.

But out there, among the readership of this very newspaper, are scores of women who did everything according to the rules, who worked, stayed independent, kept vital social lives. And who miss their children desperately, and grieve for the family life that seems more valuable as the years bring it to a close.

We’re afraid to talk about it. We think it unseemly that you know. In this age of the dysfunctional family, who could predict, let alone account for, a love so strong?

Women like me, who trained our children to grow straight and tall and need us less, now need them more. My daughter made her own doctor’s appointments in fourth grade; bought her own ballet slippers when she was 10. When she was a baby she knew what it meant to say “Mommy’s working.” While I was off at work, I knew that good daycare would suffice. And it did. But while she was happily trying out her competence, I was growing more attached. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. But I’ll be damned if I’ll miss one choir practice or one audition, with my own eyes.

It strikes me that the more independent the woman, the harder the cut. “I can’t meet you, Ariel is coming home for the night!” says my friend, Marika, of her daughter, a college freshman. Others thrill at the prospect of a rare breakfast with adult children who live not miles away.

The women’s movement, which provided us with such wisdom in the early years, protects us from nothing at this point. I feel only what parents throughout all time have known, a love for my family life so strong that I cannot bear for it to end, even though the end is good and proves that I’ve done the job right. Love, unfathomable, unanticipated Love. And one more year to go.

Join Marlene Adler Marks, senior columnist of the Jewish Journal, for a conversation on “Jewish Women: The Artists Imagination” with artists Elinor Antin and Ruth Weisberg at the Skirball Cultural Center on Sunday Oct. 21.

Her website is www.marleneadlermarks.com.

Her e-mail address is wmnsvoice@aol.com Her book, “A Woman’s Voice” is available through Amazon.com.

Digging in Deep Read More »

Nation/World Briefs

Leave a Comment / Old Stories /

From the beginning, there were clear indications of the kind of year that lay ahead.

As the Days of Awe approached last September, President Clinton reached for a High Holidays prayer book and turned to the Yom Kippur liturgy in his search for the right words of contrition following his dalliance with a loose-lipped Jewish paramour.

Members of Congress then figured Rosh Hashanah was as good a day as any for a nationwide viewing of Clinton’s videotaped grand jury testimony, and with that auspicious beginning, so began the carnival of insanity that was the Jewish year 5759.

In recognition of some of the year’s bizarre antics from around the Jewish world, here’s a gaggle of awards and observations:

Least convincing martyr: Monica Lewinsky, who, in her authorized biography, compared herself to Holocaust diarist Anne Frank and Jewish World War II heroine Hannah Senesh. The presidential seductress said she identified with the plight of Frank because independent counsel Kenneth Starr’s “bullying” tactics had her “living in constant fear.” And during her darkest hours, Lewinsky said she was sustained by thoughts of Senesh, who parachuted behind enemy lines to rescue Allied prisoners from the Nazis and organize Jewish resistance.

Most menacing Jewish lobbyist: Bill Goldberg. The 6-foot-4, 285-pound World Championship Wrestling star made his debut on Capitol Hill in February as a lobbyist for the Humane Society. Jesse Ventura may have already blazed the trail from wrestling to politics, but with all due respect to Minnesota’s governor, he couldn’t carry Goldberg’s tefillin strap.

Best theatrics on the campaign trail: In a private meeting with Jewish supporters last October, then-Sen. Alfonse D’Amato, R-N.Y., called his opponent, then-Rep. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., a “putzhead.” He also referred to the heavyset Rep. Jerry Nadler, D-N.Y., as “Congressman Waddler” and proceeded to waddle around the stage like a duck. A month later, D’Amato found himself with plenty of time to practice his lame-duck routine.

That’s why they pay him the big bucks: James Carville, one of three American political consultants who advised Ehud Barak in his successful campaign for Israel’s prime minister, said Israel’s campaign was not that different from America’s electoral process. “Who won,” he quipped, “came down to who got that all-important Jewish vote.”

An honorary doctorate in psychiatry for displaying uncanny insight into the adolescent mind: Following the Colorado school shooting, Rep. Bob Barr, R-Ga., said at a House hearing on gun control that if high schools were allowed to post the Ten Commandments, “we would not have the tragedies that bring us here today.” It wouldn’t have anything to do with those military-style assault weapons that Barr has so staunchly fought against banning.

Most outstanding commentary on the House’s passage of legislation permitting public displays of the Ten Commandments: “Congress probably should spend more time obeying the Ten Commandments and less time trying to exploit them for crass political purposes,” said Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State.

Runner-up in the previous category: After President Clinton said he would talk to lawmakers about “another option” to the Ten Commandments measure but declined to provide specifics, several pundits speculated that he was probably thinking of something more along the lines of nine commandments.

They should have been given honorary seats in Israel’s Knesset: A comedic lineup of single-issue parties campaigned unsuccessfully during Israel’s election. Among them: the Casino Party, which sought to legalize gambling; the Green Leaf Party, which sought to legalize marijuana; the Right of the Man in the Family Party, dedicated, apparently, to boosting the right of the man in the family; and the Natural Law Party, predicated on the idea that transcendental meditation is the answer to the Middle East’s woes.

Most thinly veiled anti-Semitic utterance: Jerry Falwell told a conference on evangelism that he believes the Antichrist is probably “alive and here today,” and when he appears, “of course, he’ll be Jewish.” What the founder of the now-defunct Moral Majority didn’t say was that he’ll also be a gay Teletubby named Tinky Winky, and he’ll reveal himself onstage amid a throng of demons at Lilith Fair.

Best career move: Former U.S. Rep. Jon Fox, a Jewish Republican, took up substitute teaching in Philadelphia after losing his re-election bid, thus trading in one body of unruly, obstinate juveniles for another.

Most unsavory bit of imagery conjured by a foreign dignitary: Syrian Defense Minister Mustafa Tlas, accusing Yasser Arafat of selling out his people, said the Palestinian leader has made one concession after another to Israel — “like a stripper.” Tlas further mused: “But a stripper becomes more beautiful with every layer she removes, while Arafat becomes uglier.” You can leave your kaffiyeh on, Yasser.

Clearest indication that Y2K is approaching: All sorts of interesting people began emerging from the woodwork and descending on the Holy Land, including members of a Denver-based apocalyptic cult who were arrested for planning millennial mayhem to try to bring about the second coming of Jesus. Anticipating hundreds of thousands of Christian pilgrims, Israel’s Tourism Ministry said it wants to welcome everyone to “the place where it all began” and has touted such events as a motorcycle rally from Rome to Jerusalem; a formation of a human ring around the Dead Sea on New Year’s Eve; and a “Million Tourist March” to promote world peace. There are no plans yet for a jai alai tournament against the Western Wall, but stay tuned.

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Hanging In

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Thirty or so members of Generation X and I are taking a course at Brandeis University titled Politics and the Media.

It is sobering to realize that while my classmates regard Ronald Reagan as a name from the distant past, I was born when the president was Calvin Coolidge. It is sobering, but not stultifying because our pronounced differences in age and experience have shown me that the Gen Xers are probably the first generation to benefit fully from what many Americans still regard as one of the great domestic disasters of the departing century.

When I was born, and for decades afterwards, the rules of behavior for Americans were set by the triad of government, religion and family. The schools, the media, our political and religious leaders and our parents united in supporting these rules. We might vote for opposing parties or believe in different faiths, but white Americans, the large majority, were agreed on these behavioral boundaries that made clear what we were allowed and what we were not allowed to do.

The traditional family, two parents and children, was the rock upon which society was based. Divorce was, if not prohibited, much frowned upon and divorced women, though not their former husbands, were often pariahs with little income and few rights regarding their children. Women had three career choices; salesgirl, nurse or teacher. Abortion was, of course, illegal as was homosexual behavior.

Until the century was almost half over there was little provision, beyond private charity, for the less fortunate; the mentally ill, the retarded, victims of accidents, battered spouses and children, the abandoned and the forgotten. In much of the country there was little protection for those with the wrong skin color, unpopular political beliefs, or deviant behavior patterns.

In brief, the century began with most Americans locked by birth into social and economic classes whose rules were fixed. (There did exist one escape route, moving to the western frontier, but even that had almost vanished by 1900.)

How different is the world as experienced by my classmates. The traditional family is a weakened institution, perhaps a dying one. Most Americans claim to believe in God but fewer than ever attend the established churches. (Fundamentalism is gaining ground but largely among minorities and new immigrants.) Jews are declining in number and in intensity of religious practice.

And, the Kansas Board of Education to the contrary, government, which exerts its social influence largely through the schools, is resigning as a reinforcer of traditional beliefs and values and now distributes condoms and conducts human sexuality classes in high schools.

All of this is deplored by many, including some of my fellow students. They would like a return to a society which was more predictable, where one knew the rules of correct behavior and where the differences between right and wrong were clearly delineated. “Right” and “wrong” are the words they use in class.

I think that they use the wrong words. I would prefer the word “different”.

To this I would add a second word, “confused”. These students are nowhere as certain of themselves as we were more than five decades ago. Going to high school, college and the military during World War II, we had no doubt about who were the bad guys and who the good guys. Today Hitler has disappeared and so has his successor as our national enemy, the Evil Empire. Now we send our soldiers to fight tribesmen in Somalia, Serbs in Kosovo and Saddam Hussein in the Persian Gulf. Nasty characters all but none about whom you can get really worked up.

As our national goals appear to have lost in importance and direction, so too have our personal goals. Supporting and raising a family is still regarded as a fundamental responsibility in American society but the family itself has changed. As often as not there is only one parent present, the children may have different fathers and the scene at many weddings, with multiple sets of parents on both sides of the altar, is a mainstay of TV comedy.

It is in government that the differences are most apparent. Our current president embodies in his personal behavior everything we were taught to reject, lying and sexual misconduct heading the list. He has even been impeached by Congress for lying about his misconduct and yet he retains considerable popularity among the voters. Clearly they no longer regard this kind of behavior as politically unacceptable.

For all of their professed objections to the changes in American behavioral standards, how many of my classmates would willingly return to those of even 20 years ago? They are much freer than their parents were, freer to live the lives they choose, freer to make changes in their lives, freer to be different and freer to go public.

They are already facing new sets of problems brought on by these changes but at 72, I am happy that these are less my concern than that of my children and grandchildren. On the other hand, I would love to see how it all turns out.

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SNew Weinberger Bombshell: Judge Asked for Pollard Memo

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Caspar Weinberger has dropped a bombshell that could dramatically affect the fate of Jonathan Pollard.

In an interview in the September 1999 issue of the Middle East Forum, the former defense secretary says that his still-secret memo to Judge Aubrey Robinson was written at the request of the presiding judge, who “made a formal, official request to me to supply” an assessment of the damage caused by Pollard’s espionage. The Weinberger memorandum, which is still classified, has been withheld from the Pollard defense team.

The revelation is important because the Weinberger memo remains central to Robinson’s decision to overturn Pollard’s plea bargain agreement with the United States Justice Department, and it is routinely cited as evidence of the severity of Pollard’s crime in passing classified information to Israel.

It is improper to secretly solicit information and then, on the record, imply that [U.S. Attorney Joseph] de Genova introduced it.” said Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz.

Although Dershowitz allowed that not all information is shared, “anything the judge asks for has to be put on the record. For the judge to solicit a substantive memorandum and then to use it in this way raises fundamental questions.”

In the interview with the Forum’s Daniel Pipes, Weinberger repeats his statement about the involvement of Robinson five times.

* “I said everything I knew about Pollard at the request of the United States District Court.”

* “I gave the judge an affidavit that was classified because it went into great detail about the extent of the damage that was done and the number of lives of our people that were endangered.”

* “That covered a lot of sources and methods at the court’s request.”

* “What I had to say, I said at the court’s request in the classified affidavit.”

* “We were impacted very severely. That was the exact subject matter of the information that the judge wanted in the case, and he made a formal, official request to me to supply it to him, and I did.”

Robinson did not inform the defense that he had invited a submission from the secretary of defense and made no provision for the defense to see the submission in advance. Nor did he allow the defense counsel adequate time to study the submission and prepare a legal defense to challenge it.

In a Tuesday, Sept. 28, letter to the NJJN, Pollard spelled out what he saw as the consequences for his case.

“If Weinberger is lying about the judge having solicited his memorandum, then this seriously calls into question his credibility as an ‘assessor’ of my actions,” Pollard writes.

“On the other hand, if he’s telling the truth and the judge did, in fact, engage in such ex parte behavior, then somebody’s going to have to stand up and call for a full-scale investigation of the judge’s behavior. His apparent unethical actions in this matter were later compounded by his decision to uphold the government’s refusal to share Weinberger’s memorandum with my lawyers during the…appeal over which he presided.”

In making the new revelation, Weinberger does not back away from his assessment that Pollard caused significant damage to the United States.

“The whole case was a source of very considerable potential and actual danger and damage to the United States, primarily from the vantage point of information, intelligence sources, and methods that were lost,” Weinberger told Pipes. “We were impacted very severely.”

David Twersky writes for the New Jersey Jewish News.

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