You’re having another baby – how exciting! So when is the right time to tell your toddler they are going to be a big brother or sister? Nine months can seem like an eternity. But you have to remember, until the big day arrives, your toddler really won’t get it until the baby comes home and the chaos begins.
Here are 12 tips to prepare your toddler:
1. It’s never a good idea to spring something new on your toddler as soon as the little blue line appears on your pregnancy test. A good rule of thumb is to start sharing the good news sometime in the middle or end of the second trimester. If you have morning sickness, fatigue, or have symptoms that may affect your toddler’s daily routine, you may not be able to wait. But know you will have many discussions, one time won’t do it!
2. If you are anxious about your pregnancy, please be careful not to let it spill over into the discussions. It is not necessary to share all the details with your toddler. Share your nervousness with your doctor, partner or a friend.
3. Discuss this event with age appropriate descriptions. And remember, sometimes less is best. Too many details are just not necessary. Let your toddler’s age and comfort level govern your discussions.
4. If your toddler is three or older, bring him or her to your doctor’s appointment to hear the heartbeat or feel the baby kick. You want your firstborn to feel like an important part of this wonderful event.
5. Get a few age appropriate books about siblings from the library and read them together. Or check out these great books on Amazon.
6. Ask your toddler to help you go through his or her baby toys and put them in a special place for the new baby.
7. If you have friends with new babies, plan a visit so your toddler can get a first-hand look and maybe even hold the baby with your supervision, of course.
8. If your toddler will be staying at grandmas or a friend’s house while you are in the hospital, do a dry run. And remember, this is not the time to hire a new baby sitter.
9. Take your toddler to the store to buy a special “welcome home” gift for the new baby. And make sure that you buy one from the baby for the big brother or sister.
10. If your toddler will be moving into a “big girl or boy bed” before the baby arrives, allow at least three months for this transition. There is nothing worse than having two little ones crying in the middle of the night!
11. If your toddler will be going to preschool when the baby arrives, leave plenty of time to make this change. And start slowly if possible, maybe 2 mornings a week and then add more.
12. Most of all, once the new baby arrives, don’t feel guilty about not having the same amount of time to spend with your firstborn. As you adjust to having two children, plan a special time just for you and your toddler each week. Quality versus quantity! And don’t forget to say lots of “I Love You’s!”
• For more great tips to help prepare your toddler for a new sibling check out “Take That Baby Back” in Help! My Toddler Came Without Instructions.
Blythe Lipman, President and Founder of Baby Instructions based in Scottsdale, Arizona, is a nationally recognized baby and toddler expert, a parenting consultant, an author of three award-winning books, Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions, More…Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions, and Help! My Toddler Came Without Instructions, a teacher, a caregiver, a keynote speaker, a blogger AND host of Baby and Toddler Instructions, a weekly Parenting Internet talk radio show which airs live every Wednesday at 11:00 am EST on itunes and Toginet She is owner of the online parenting magazine My Best Parenting Advice and the site Baby Instructions. Schedule an appointment with Blythe if you need some parenting help. 480-510-1453.
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.