More Jewish Young Adults Need Rabbis in Their Lives

From the great rabbinic sages who compiled the Talmud, the communal leadership of historic figures like Maimonides and Rashi, to modern Rabbinic leaders like Angela Buchdahl and Lord Jonathan Sacks, rabbis have played an important and key role in developing Jewish communal life. They help us celebrate simchas, grieve during tragedies, navigate social change, and make sense of Judaism’s laws, canonical stories, and philosophies. Beyond being thought leaders and translating thousands of years of Jewish wisdom, they are also our friends with whom we build trusting, warm lasting relationships. I want more Jewish young adults to experience the important and diverse role rabbis can play in their personal Jewish stories. I hope that we can dramatically increase the number of Jewish young adults who have personal and fulfilling relationships with rabbis today.

The Jewish community has made tremendous strides in enriching the lives of Jewish young adults over the past 25 years through investments in travel programs, educational retreats, and religious experiences. But as a whole, there is untapped potential when it comes to helping young adults forge strong relationships with rabbis.   It’s time that we all start viewing rabbinic relationships for young adults as a necessity, and not a luxury.

1. Having an external, Jewishly rooted and trained thought partner is incredibly valuable for young adults navigating life’s journey

While we typically think this is the role of a friend, that is true only to an extent. But sometimes, especially for young adults, a friend’s job is to just be supportive.

Rabbis provide support, but also push and challenge young adults in ways their friends, with different life experience and wisdom, cannot. A good rabbi will sit with the young adult they are counseling in a nonjudgmental manner. They help guide young adults to places where they may not even know they want to go or have the capacity to go. This all comes back to the core purpose of the rabbinate. A Rabbi’s role is to care about the wellbeing of their community.

2. An existing relationship with a rabbi means they will be there for the unexpected twists and turns in young adults’ lives.

After graduating college, most young adults are not focused on how and where to find a Rabbi. While they know that rabbis are needed for lifecycle events like weddings, funerals, baby namings, and b’nai mitzvahs, these milestones are not on the radar for most recent college graduates. The focus is much more on career growth, dating apps, moving to new cities and being independent for the first time.

But things happen. We lose loved ones suddenly. We get laid off. Relationships become turbulent.  Young adults benefit from having a rabbi by their side in those moments.

I speak from experience. My father passed away from cancer in my early 20s. The relationships I formed with the rabbinic leaders on the campus of UC Santa Barbara helped me so much in the years leading up to and after my father’s death. They were there for me in ways I wouldn’t have known how to ask for.

In addition to my own experience, I see the value of rabbinic relationships everyday through my work at Moishe House, where we have dozens of rabbis across the United States working with young Jewish adults as Base rabbis, as Jewish Learning Specialists for Moishe House residents and MHWOW hosts, and as educators through the Jewish Learning Collaborative. I have seen how young adults’ pre-existing relationships with Moishe House’s rabbis have helped them navigate major life events that are both expected and unexpected. Additionally, their rabbinic relationships have added richness to their lives as they are in between milestones.

Having an established relationship with a rabbi helps young adults weather the hard times and make the joyous moments that much sweeter. They ground us in thousands of years of tradition and practice. Going to the chuppah or navigating a funeral with a trusted rabbi provides young adults a sense of calm and deeper meaning during these powerful and intense moments.

3. Rabbis really do strengthen Jewish identities and welcome people into Jewish communal life.

Our tradition is beautiful, ancient, and full of wisdom. But at times, especially for young adults who do not have a background in Jewish education, it can feel overwhelming. That’s where rabbis come in. Rabbis help them make sense of Jewish culture, wisdom, and history.

The data backs this up. In its 2023 study on Rabbi Experience Research, Atra found that having positive experiences with rabbis did great things for survey respondents between ages 18-44. A whopping 91 percent of respondents who had positive interactions with rabbis, said their experiences made them feel more positively about being Jewish. Ninety percent said positive interactions with rabbis made them feel more spiritually connected and 88 percent said their positive interactions made them more confident and comfortable being Jewish.

Having a positive relationship with a rabbinic figure is very helpful for young adults navigating harrowing moments like October 7^th . Since October 7^th, more antisemitic skeletons have emerged from the closet in popular culture and in workplaces. It’s made it difficult for many Jewish young adults and professionals to figure out how to balance their Jewish identities and support of Israel with their personal and professional ambitions. Having a relationship with a rabbi helps young adults navigate muddy terrain like the one we are now in. Most importantly, during these times of societal upheaval and crisis, rabbis will help young adults stay centered and find the moments of beauty in the world.

The infrastructure for facilitating relationships between Jewish young adults and rabbis exists. Especially now, during this period of communal crisis and grief, we need to continue building on it.  Strengthening relationships between young adults and clergy will yield fantastic results for the global Jewish community. We will see that young adults will have higher Jewish literacy, become more engaged community leaders, and most importantly, individuals who have a stronger sense of self and purpose.

So the question sits with us, how are we creating pathways for these relationships? Where are we recruiting and training the next generation of great Rabbis?

David Cygielman is the founder and CEO of Moishe House.