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Thursday, June 4, 2020

Alone on Passover? Me Too.

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When it comes to Passover I’ve been totally spoiled over the years. As a standup comic who performs at various resorts over the holiday, I’ve seen it all when it comes to lavish scenarios. From the famous “Tea Rooms” with every snack you can imagine, to waiter service at a personal table, I’ve been lucky to spend the past few years at some of the of best resorts in the world. I’ve even been spoiled when it comes to the seders, spending them with the Gorin/Andron families through my friend Michelle and her husband Ben. They have gone above and beyond taking care of me since I was the sad pathetic single guy. I would play that one up as much as I could, if only to evoke whatever laughter I could get out of it.

Michelle’s sister Stephanie, one of my favorite verbal targets, would constantly taunt me about getting married and I would taunt her back. The family is in Miami and many of the resorts are based there. Needless to say, this year, I won’t be able to taunt Stephanie, be spoiled by Michelle’s mom’s cooking or worry about getting to a show on time just as the first days of the holiday end.

This year I’m on my own for the first time in my life. “All who are hungry, let them come and eat” was always taken to heart by the Jewish community. This year, if you’re single, it’s going to suck comparatively, but maybe it won’t be as bad you think.

Even though plenty of us will be by ourselves, don’t forget other friends will be too, so in an odd way we’re in this thing together. I’m honestly looking at it as a challenge and my goal is to make sure I at least do a better job than certain friends of mine. If there was ever a time to act like a childish competitive 5-year-old, now is that time. My goal is to bury my buddies who think they have this thing down, and when the holiday ends, tell them I nailed it.

I’m not going to compete with Helga Gorin’s cooking, or the Tea Room in Prague and Greece, (where I was supposed to go this year), but that doesn’t mean I can’t still try and get this thing right. I’ll even cheat and pre order on the tough stuff, because, as a single guy I lack certain kitchen gadgets.

“Charoset? Oh that’s easy. Put the ingredients into a food processor.” A What? And by the way, what the hell is a shank bone? Looks like I’m pre ordering the seder plate. And you know what? That’s OK. There’s no way in hell I’m spending $15 on a potato kugel so a spud in foil will handle that, but at least I’ll get it done.

So, if you’re alone on Passover this year, don’t worry. I promise you’ll get through it. Turn it into a challenge and remember, at least you’re more competent than “that guy.” Do the best you can. Don’t drive yourself nuts. Get yourself that one item that’s a treat and remember, I’m alone too. But at least we can be alone… together.

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