A New Way of Seeing

By Rabbi Mark Borovitz

It is 3:12am on Friday, August 29, 2014. I have been awake for over an hour. I’m not sure if I can go back to sleep, so I am writing my Blog.

It has been an interesting, exciting, terrifying, and introspective month. I have had Cataract Surgery in both eyes and now my eyesight is 20/25! This is coming from a person who has worn glasses since he was four years old and was called, four-eyes, etc. Just before the first eye was operated on, a friend/teacher of mine, Emily B., asked me if I thought my inner sight would also change. My reply was, “I hope so.” Well, I can say with confidence that it has. My inner and outer sight sees more colors naturally: more shades of gray, black and white, etc. My sight has helped me deal with issues and trials that would make me really crazy, but now I just get a little nuts��. 

This new sight was a little disjointed for two weeks while one eye was “fixed” and the other eye wasn't. I see that I have to step back and up in my role at Beit T’Shuvah. I have to step up in my role as Life-Coach. I have to step up to be a wise elder and SEE these steps as progress and gaining, not becoming obsolete and losing “control.”

This is also the first week of Elul, the month in the Hebrew Calendar when Jews are supposed to begin the accounting of their soul/Chesbon HaNefesh. This is another area where my sight has gotten clearer. I am holding myself more accountable and I am holding others more accountable. I am asking people to remind/rebuke me when I am out of proper measure and asking if they want the same from me. As a “Boss,” I am seeing my role as a spiritual and practical leader more clearly. As a father, brother, son, husband and friend, I see my space more clearly.

What does my “new sight” actually mean? It means that I have to claim my proper place with more surety and passion. I have to let go of old spaces that I filled and allow others the opportunities to experience success and failing forwards. I am obligated to make sure that life gets more “good” from me than “not good” each day. I acknowledge that life, you, and others have a claim on me because as Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel says, “The interests of others have to be our concerns.”

As you do your Accounting of the Soul, I ask that you join me in being Addicted to Redemption. I ask that you see your failing forwards and turn them into life lessons. See your successes and grow them in this coming year. Claim your proper place and help others claim theirs. Use the wisdom of our tradition, of our/your elders, and of your own to live one grain of sand better each day.