Is It Ever “In” to Be Old?

Is it even a question? For the first time in history, women who remember when it was a crime to wear pants to school are redefining what it looks and feels like to be way past menopause. Unlike our quaint grandmas, my generation is dying its hair purple, promenading in zany outfits like characters in a Willy Wonka movie, and chucking our homes to wander the world alone.

These days, women who still have a hustle start fashion blogs with names like “That’s Not My Age,” and Mother Of, an Instagram account specializing in photos of mature women searching for the perfect dress for a child’s wedding—mission impossible. Boutique cosmetic brands like RMS or Jones Road hire post-menopausal spokeswomen who bravely stare into the camera au naturel. They tell us that old skin is different from young skin. Really? That’s why I need their products.

When did it become so in to be old? Social media has blown up “old age” and sprinkled it like pixie dust all over the culture. The message is that you can be a beauty or an athlete at any age, just do the work. As a result we are a generation of confused grannies who can’t relax. We insist on trekking in Scotland, walking on glaciers or playing competitive pickleball. We’re no longer content to play Mah Jong when we’re not babysitting the grandkids. All of which annoys our new vice president J.D. Vance, who has said that “caring for grandchildren is the whole purpose of the post-menopausal woman.” In what century?

Yet, in our new old culture, is there a mature woman in Los Angeles who has not considered intrusive skin treatments, miracle face creams, or cosmetic surgery by age 50? All of the options are out there, and much younger women are taking advantage of the science, including 12-year-olds. My dermatologist runs down the menu of rejuvenating services every time I have a mole removed, daring me to just say “no.” But I’m skeptical about aging backward. Besides isn’t the whole point of the new old that we’re just as beautiful as the young—we just look different?

Then again, if it’s so cool to be old why is there such a huge anti-aging industry? I’m not referring to the dreamers who believe they will live forever with the help of pharmaceuticals. I’m talking about the major cosmetic companies marketing products with names like  “Regenerative Bright Reveal Omni-Essence Anti-Aging Creme” to gullible grandmas. When I see fading beauties like Isabelle Rossellini, Helen Mirren and Andie MacDowell smile for the camera, I immediately disconnect. Don’t they rely on a huge team of professionals to maintain their glowing looks for the camera? Weren’t they born with extraordinary beauty?

I do adore what Glenn Close does online. In her Instagram feed, she often posts photos of herself with hair disheveled, no eye makeup, and a puffy face from jet-lag. I love the contrast when she then posts ultra-glamour shots in drama queen makeup and a chic designer gown. It’s a sly wink at the powers of transformation by a legendary actress. And she’s still working! On a recent trip to Paris I met a mature professional model who shared that her agent advised her to let her hair go white and cut it short to get work in the expanding wrinkle cream market. Good news for the non-celebs!

Now that old is in, of course, the young are co-opting us. I’m not sure if they’re millennials, X, Y, or Zs—but women are in a rush to claim older age. When author Miranda July released “All Fours” her latest novel to great acclaim, I had to read it. In a story marketed as “the first great peri-menopause novel” she describes a woman stuck in her middle years. She questions everything: the monotony of marriage, child care, domesticity. To break out, she sets off on a road trip to nowhere, an excuse for exploring her sexuality while her nice husband makes their son’s school sandwiches. I had to laugh. There were several grains of truth in it.

But then I got annoyed. At 45 with one child in middle school, isn’t her old age a bit premature? What exactly does this character know about being old other than a few sags or tiny wrinkles?

What’s the rush? My advice to all you wannabes out there: You can’t really imagine what aging feels like until you are in your 60s. By your 70s you’ll really know what it feels like. Until then, enjoy the time!

Los Angeles food writer Helene Siegel is the author of 40 cookbooks, including the “Totally Cookbook” series and “Pure Chocolate.” She runs the Pastry Session blog.