Occasionally, male comedians will bomb so severely that they will decide to ditch their pants. I was one of those. One night, very early in my career, I finished the act in my boxers — boxers, but never briefs. Of course, this was before I had a rabbi and wife. Boxers are funny; briefs are not. After ten seconds, I was back to bombing.
But now gone are the boxers and panties (with the day of the week) in Brooklyn at The Naked Comedy Show. I’ve not been there, but the comedians, men and women, and many of the newest genders are legit top to bottom swinging in the wind, and you can be, too. The first two rows of seating are clothing optional. (I want to know who wants to sit in their seat after them and where they hide their credit cards). My mohel did good work but not for show and tell.
When I was growing up, the T-shirt was called an undershirt. You wore it under your shirt; it was not a shirt. A T-shirt was the top half of your underwear. Except for tie-dye and Marlon Brando yelling, “Stella,” there was a time you wouldn’t dare leave the house in just a “T.” Two-hundred-dollar Ts with the Tommy Hilfiger (TH) logo hadn’t yet been invented. If I wore my undershirt to fifth grade, they would’ve sent me home, and my parents would have been sent to a mental institution. Except for breakfast, or if I were sick, my mother would not allow me to eat at the dining table without pants. Now that we are empty nesters between you and me, I’m back eating cereal in my underwear.
Even at funerals, except for family, many people don’t dress up anymore. It used to be that the dearly departed were stored in a suit and tie or wedding dress. Nowadays, some are lowered or cremated in jeans, flip-flops, Def Leppard T-shirts, and some weed.
Europe has always been known for its fashion: Nazi sympathizer Coco Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, Miuccia Prada, Gianni Versace, and Christian Dior. I was recently in Europe. As my mother would say, “You’re not going out looking like a ragpicker.” Many in Europe today look like ragpickers who smoke. It seemed that the best-dressed were Muslim and Orthodox Jewish women, and these people don’t always follow the latest fashion trends.
My dentist sent me for a root canal to this guy, and he said he was a genius. I was already in the dental chair, ready for the lie-down position, when the genius walked in wearing a T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers and having hair down the middle of his back. I wasn’t sure if he would fix my tooth or take me to a Stones concert. Did he do a good job? Yes. Did he look like a doctor? No.
Mark Zuckerberg looks like some kid going to Starbucks. How many women would go to an Ob-Gyn who’s wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt? Don’t tell me that can’t happen. Think of how many things you’ve already said that about. How many men would go to a proctologist with no fingers? That proctologist one is just a joke I thought of and is irrelevant to this story.
So, is the way most people dress now good or bad? I believe it’s a bad thing. There was a time when society dictated how people dressed if they entered the street. You wore your work uniform, a dress or a suit and tie.
Going to a Major League Baseball game or flying on an airplane was once something people dressed up for. When looking for a job, you didn’t dress like you needed one. Now, people board jets with sandals and no socks, remove them, and put their feet on the armrests. Don’t get me started on pre-ripped clothing.
I remember going to Broadway shows or seeing Frank Sinatra in concert. Everyone was dressed to the hilt. They didn’t look like people just off a free cheese line.
Look at some old movies and how people dressed for a simple walk or a car ride. They looked like a new, crisp $20 bill. Do you agree? Or am I just getting old?
Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the “We Think It’s Funny” podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”