I Am Proud to Be a Jew by Choice

Anita Diamant’s book “Choosing a Jewish Life” includes a story about the influential jurist Louis Brandeis, the first Jewish Supreme Court Justice. Brandeis’ academic brilliance led the powers-that-be to overlook his religion and induct him into Harvard Law School’s most prestigious honor society. His acceptance speech began: “I’m sorry I was born a Jew, but only because I wish I had the privilege of choosing Judaism on my own.”  In an era when it was expedient to run away from your Judaism, he embraced it.

Unlike many faiths, Jews don’t proselytize. And if someone who was not born a Jew wants to become one, it means going through an arduous process. Some do so when marrying a Jew; others out of a general appreciation for Judaism. Marilyn Monroe is among the most famous of those in the former category, converting in 1956 when she married Arthur Miller. Interestingly, when her fellow superstar, Elizabeth Taylor, converted three years later, it wasn’t for marriage.  Her Jewish husband, Michael Todd, had died in a plane crash, and she became a Jew because of the “comfort and dignity and hope” Judaism provided. When she married another Jew, Eddie Fisher, she was already Jewish.

I bet you know some people who have converted to Judaism.  If you ask them about their motivation, you might just learn something about your own religious identity.  I certainly have.

My friend Lisa grew up as a Presbyterian in the Bible Belt of the south.  She doesn’t recall having seen a synagogue and, as far as she knew, had never met a Jew.  But after moving to Los Angeles, she fell in love with a Jewish man.  Lisa says she didn’t convert for his sake.  She converted because she wanted to raise any future children within the Jewish faith.  For her, being Jewish has meant lighting Shabbat candles, visiting Israel, observing the holidays, and sending her son to a Jewish day school.  It was extremely meaningful to her that her family has been supportive of her choice.  Lisa’s mom crocheted her grandson’s yarmulke when he became a bar mitzvah; her artist brother painted a picture of his nephew holding the Torah; and since 10/7, her sister has worn a Star of David to match my friend’s.

Paula, a Black woman who was raised Christian, always felt a special bond with the Jewish people, a sentiment that was reinforced through her relationship with her closest friend in junior high school, and later with her college roommates.  When she decided to begin the conversion process, her mother, siblings, and grown children were very encouraging.  Paula says that she was born with a Jewish soul and that all the conversion did was to make it official.  A well-known leader within the Jewish community, Paula serves as the vice president of her synagogue, where she celebrated an adult bat mitzvah, attended by members of her proud family.

Lastly, my sister-in-law, Mary, grew up in a Catholic household, but without feeling much connection to any faith.  She knew precious little about Judaism until she enrolled in college.  The more she learned, the more she felt that Judaism was what she had been searching for.  Mary began to identify as a Jew long before conversion classes.  The first time she visited Israel, she says that it was as if she had arrived home.  Mary considers it a great honor to be a Jew and I can’t imagine her ever having been anything else.  

How can you not be inspired by stories such as these?  During the perilous times we are living through today, when Jews worldwide feel so threatened, it is gratifying to reflect on the fact that some members of our community actively sought out Judaism, and wear that label with unremitting pride.

For those of us who, like Justice Brandeis, were born Jewish, and cherish that identity regardless of the challenges, we should recognize that in a real sense we too have chosen Judaism.  

For those of us who, like Justice Brandeis, were born Jewish, and cherish that identity regardless of the challenges, we should recognize that in a real sense we too have chosen Judaism.  So call each of us a “Jew by choice.”  And what a truly magnificent choice we have made!

Morton Schapiro is the former president of Williams College and Northwestern University.  His most recent book (with Gary Saul Morson) is “Minds Wide Shut:  How the New Fundamentalisms Divide Us.”