How to Stop Spiraling

Some of us are mentally spiraling out of control. We’ve very afraid. We are jumping at every loud sound, looking over our shoulder wherever we go. We believe the entire world hates Jews. We trust no one. 

It’s understandable. We are traumatized by what happened on October 7 and the worldwide antisemitic response to it. If you spend all day online, you’ll see an extraordinarily concerning amount of hate for the Jewish state. 

Recently, I posted on X: “A lot of people ask me, ‘Do you have any family in Israel?’ Yes, I do. I have 7 million family members there.” For this, I received hundreds of hateful comments and threats from pro-Hamas accounts. I had to turn off commenting because I couldn’t handle it. Many of these comments were from bots with 0 followers and 0 posts that got triggered when I posted the word “Israel,” but some were real. And those were incredibly scary.

However, I have to remind myself that this is not a time to spiral. Worrying all day isn’t productive. While it’s important to be alert and aware of threats, I don’t have to constantly be anxious. 

Many people I know are not able to get themselves out of a loop of negativity. They are unable to sleep or function properly or talk about anything other than what’s going on. They feel alone. And they are incredibly depressed.

During this time, it’s important to do grounding exercises that will make you feel calm. First, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “I’m safe. I’m OK.” 

Find some comforting items you love, like a nice smelling candle or a cozy blanket. Some people like weighted blankets, which can reduce your stress and increase your levels of melatonin. Personally, when I’m feeling unsettled, putting on a sweater and cuddling up with my dogs makes me feel much better.

I know that you may feel guilty engaging in self-care while Israel is at war and so many are suffering. But to show up for your family, friends and Jewish community, you need to be healthy. 

It’s crucial to take care of your physical, emotional and mental health right now. I know that you may feel guilty engaging in self-care while Israel is at war and so many are suffering. But to show up for your family, friends and Jewish community, you need to be healthy. Prioritize getting a good night’s sleep, eating well, exercising and giving yourself a break. Go on a date night with your significant other and spend time with your loved ones. Grab a coffee with a friend. Take a short road trip to change up your surroundings. Make sure you talk to a therapist, if needed. 

Of course, above all else, know that Hashem is here for you, and for all of us. When I was an atheist, I would spiral all the time. I was always anxious and suffered from depression throughout my teenage years. I thought that everything was in my control and the world was on my shoulders. 

Now that I know Hashem is in control, I do my best and hand the rest over to Him. I rely on Him and talk to Him regularly. I say, “Hashem, I am so anxious right now. I need to not be anxious. Please help me get through this.” And He always does. 

Concretely, it’s important to know these truths: The entire world does not hate us. This is vastly different from the Holocaust. We have a lot of support on our side, including in the U.S. government and among the American population. There is much more good than evil in the world. Over thousands of years, Jews have outlasted everybody who tried to kill us. Hashem wiped out their civilizations and spared us. 

Our mission is to bring light to the darkness, and Hashem is going to guarantee we can continue to do that. Nobody has ever, or will ever, succeed in putting out our light.

I hope this helps. Remember: You will be OK. We will be OK.

What helps you when you’re feeling down? Email me: Kylieol@JewishJournal.com.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.