Satirical Semite: Useless Information

The world of education has changed with the advent of ChatGPT. Students are using artificial intelligence to write their papers, teachers have been using it to grade the papers, and AI has been acing a series of professional exams. Companies are predicting massive layoffs in the next few years, and there is going to be only one AI-proof profession left in the entire world; due to the electronic restrictions during Shabbat and festivals, the safest option in the entire job market is to become an Orthodox Rabbi. 

A good friend is principal of a Jewish High School in Australia, and described how his philosophy of education is adapting with the times. “We need a different approach,” he said, pointing out that it was redundant to keep asking students to learn facts when there is going to be no reason to remember that information since it can be accessed online. That makes sense. I grew up in England remembering statistics about the history of the British monarchy, but why learn the ins and outs of Buckingham Palace history when I can listen to academically robust resources, like Meghan Markle’s podcast?

I did want to help him with some facts that could be good for students to learn as part of their intellectual development. In terms of local knowledge, there is a law in Queensland, Australia, that it is illegal to own a pet rabbit unless you’re a magician, due to pest control. In terms of geopolitical history, it’s good to know that back in 2004, there was a diplomatic crisis in Sweden when their army detected Russian submarines in the vicinity. The Swedish Prime Minister Carl Bildt wrote a tough letter to the Russian premier Boris Yeltsin. Marine researchers soon discovered that the mysterious humming noises weren’t Soviet submarines but actually the sound of thousands of fish flatulating, since that is how one species of fish communicates with one another. The Russian threat turned out to be a literal red herring — 10,000 red herrings to be precise.

Education is more than just learning facts.  Students still need skills like reasoning, critical thinking, and the ability to form coherent sentences. I have tried testing this out, and asked ChatGPT-4 to “write a satire column for the Los Angeles Jewish Journal in the style of the Satirical Semite.” The result was disappointing. It came up with a piece about a 35-year- old guy called Shlomo who was sitting in his mother’s basement knitting yarmulkes that he sold online as “high end couture head coverings, for the kosher man-about-town.” Unfortunately, ChatGPT was living in a fantasy land, where there are aging Jewish bachelors who still live with their mothers.

The film industry faces a problem with AI, in that long-dead actors can be revived in new movies using performances generated from their voice and looks. An upside is that audiences can continue to enjoy their favorite long-dead actors. A serious downside is that it could create a bleak, dystopian scenario where there are lots of unemployed actors in Los Angeles who have to work in cafes or drive for Uber.

Everyone has to adapt to the new age, whether they are filmmakers, teachers or something else. My principal friend suggested that educators “need to think of new ways to teach, since students will still need to learn skills like critical thinking, reasoning, and the ability to form coherent arguments. One solution is to get students to write their papers in class, without internet access, so that we know that they are actually writing it.”

Ironically, Judaism has traditionally stayed one step ahead of AI. During the 25 hours of Shabbat, when it is forbidden to use computers, there is no way to cheat. When a Rabbi is asked an halachic legal question that needs an answer, he has to know it by heart or at least know where to find it. Real books are needed, along with real brains. 

And like the magician in Queensland, once in a while you do need to pull some magic out of a hat.

www.marcusjfreed.com and on social @marcusjfreed.