How the Pandemic Made Me an Extrovert

At the start of the pandemic, when the world went into lockdown, I was scared of catching COVID. But at the same time, I was looking forward to one thing: I got to cancel all my plans and stay home. 

As an introvert, I loved it whenever things I had on my calendar got canceled. You mean I could just chill out and watch TV instead? Great. I was really looking forward to the next two weeks while we beat this disease.

Fast forward to two months later, and I was having a meltdown in my daughter’s closet. Screaming, crying, the works. I’d only been leaving my house once a week to go on a drive around town. I didn’t stop to get a coffee, I didn’t stop to go to the store, I didn’t even stop for a bathroom break. I was out for one hour, and that was it. We didn’t know if COVID was floating around in the air at that point, and my husband Daniel and I were worried about passing it on to our infant daughter. 

When I broke down, Daniel rushed in to see what was wrong.

“I can’t go on like this,” I said, in between sniffling. “I’m going crazy.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, holding me. 

“I think we need to go to a park this weekend,” I said. “Something. Anything. We don’t have to be near anyone. Let’s just find somewhere and go.”

Daniel agreed, and that Sunday, we spent a lovely afternoon at a lake in Orange County. We then visited beaches and Big Bear, too. 

Slowly, my mental health began to improve. But it was only when it became safer to meet up with friends and congregate at my synagogue and go to people’s houses for Shabbat that I really felt different. I felt much better. I never knew how much I needed to socialize until it was taken away from me.

Pre-pandemic, I always hated the phone and would dodge calls, letting them go straight to voicemail. Now, I pick up my phone when it rings. I invite people out to coffee and hope that we can become friends. I look forward to parties. 

Suddenly, I was speaking up more at meals, accepting social invitations and texting, emailing and calling multiple people on a daily basis. Pre-pandemic, I always hated the phone and would dodge calls, letting them go straight to voicemail. Now, I pick up my phone when it rings. I invite people out to coffee and hope that we can become friends. I look forward to parties. 

Socializing used to drain me, and now it energizes me. There is something so invigorating about having a heart-to-heart connection with a friend. I used to turn to the internet for all the information I needed and these days, I turn to people instead. I want to hear their stories; people have such fascinating lives, and you never know about them until you ask. 

I can’t even say I feel like my old self again. I feel like an improved version of myself.

Looking back, when I was more introverted, I was scared to be myself around others out of fear that they would judge me. That they would see my flaws and not want to be my friend. I had to present a perfect picture of myself. Yep, I’m doing fine – nothing to see over here.

I’ve given that up. The pandemic revealed everyone’s vulnerabilities, including my own. I’m more honest and not afraid to show my true self. Life is too short to worry so much and to stay in my shell. We never know what could happen. Two years ago, I never could have imagined this new reality. 

COVID has taken so much away from us, but I’m grateful that some good came out of it as well. I’m connecting with others and I’m getting closer to my true authentic self. My soul has come alive.  

As it turns out, when the world went into lockdown, I opened up.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community and Arts Editor of the Jewish Journal.