How Can We Care For Our Elderly Parents?

Not a day goes by without a phone call from a worried and tearful son or daughter of an elderly parent. Their concerns are real. Are they taking their meds? Eating properly? Navigating their home to avoid falls? Getting outside for fresh air? The list goes on.

As a senior living advocate and placement specialist in Los Angeles, I have had hundreds of conversations with caring children. The concern for their parents’ physical needs are huge, but the greatest worry, especially since COVID became an issue, is the loneliness and isolation they’ve endured these past 17 months.  

Social isolation has been a “core concern” during the pandemic, according to a University of Washington study of social services and health care organizations across the state. According to Beverly Sanborn, licensed clinical social worker and Vice President of Program Development at Belmont Village, “if you had family and friends living with you or nearby, you probably did not feel the isolation and loneliness of the pandemic. However, the vast majority who live alone, without family nearby, it was horrendous.”

In the beginning, there were meal drops on the doorstep, Zoom and FaceTime calls and, finally, the vaccine arrived, and there was a race to find any connection to get vaccinated as soon as possible. We did everything we could to lift the spirits of our elderly patients, whether they lived at home alone or in a senior living community.

To avoid the isolation among residents at Belmont Village, management engaged every single employee, from the dishwasher to the executive director, to spend one-on-one time with each and every resident. “The job title was irrelevant, we all pitched in,” Sanborn stated.  

She added, “These bonding sessions between residents and employees ended up becoming such a great success, we started to re-think our approach to programming and have created smaller, more intimate activities with residents who have like interests. Much to our surprise, this greatly helped our introverted residents who were reluctant to come out even prior to the pandemic. After these special relationships were formed, they came out of their rooms because of the special bond they had created with the employee.”

Here’s the promising news. Senior living communities and senior centers have carefully resumed activities, dining, outings and entertainment. While wearing a mask is still required, it does not affect overall plans to expand and increase the programming to pre-pandemic levels. This has made a huge impact on seniors’ well-being. 

While some seniors still wish to remain in their own home, Sanborn highly recommends staying as engaged as possible, through religious, service or charitable organizations.

 She strongly encourages spending time in nature. “Take a walk in a park, have a picnic, walk at the beach, animal life and gardens.” Here are a few other options: 

Have a “movie night” where everyone rents the same film, or uses an app like Netflix party or Gaze to watch and chat at the same time.

Play games together, like online chess or scrabble. Apps like Kahoot and Drawful allow users to customize games and quizzes with their own family facts and interests.

Share memories through photos. Family members can use a shared photo app, such as FamilyAlbum or Google Photos, to upload new and old memories. If your senior loved one is less tech-savvy, send pictures via email or snail mail.

Explore keepsakes and heirloom treasures. Social isolation has given seniors plenty of time to clean out closets and attics of keepsakes. Get the family together to look through photo albums and old treasures on Zoom, and see what stories and memories they inspire.

Nothing surpasses a personal visit from a loved one. It’s the ultimate mitzvah.

These are a few great ideas, but, most of all, visit as often as possible. Nothing surpasses a personal visit from a loved one. It’s the ultimate mitzvah.

Sandra Heller is the owner of Compassionate Senior Solutions, an advocacy and senior living placement company. Her website is compassionateseniorsolutions.com