Satirical Semite: Cows, Contentment and Casting Couches

Is it possible to be happy outside of Los Angeles, City of Dreams? It is now 325 days, five hours and 23 minutes since I left Los Angeles to visit my family, and with very few exceptions, foreign nationals are still banned from re-entering the U.S. as a result of a presidential proclamation. Spending time with my old friends in England is disconcerting because the majority of them are not tortured with American dreams and brutal ambition, and are mostly happy with their lives. Being around all of this joy is miserable.

The city of Northfield, Minnesota has a famous sign that reads “Cows, Colleges and Contentment.” The catchphrase is terrifying. How can a college town encourage people to live a pleasant life rather than enter the gladiator’s ring to take up arms and fight? Next thing you know the undergraduates will set up a farm and spend their days producing organic milk, making cheesecake from locally-sourced dairy ingredients and enjoying their twilight years sitting on the porch proudly watching their great-grandchildren apprenticing in the cow shed, safe in the knowledge they have a secure financial future if they recline under Daisy the cow and gently squeeze her udders of abundance.

Give me the City of Angels, the pursuit of an elusive golden chalice of glory, a lottery ticket of success and waiting with the 99% of artists who sip cocktails made from bitter waters of frustration. The environment is familiar and you know where you are. You can swap colleges, contentment, and cows for cattle calls, callbacks and casting couches.

I knew I was taking a sabbatical from America but never foresaw that the gateway back would be closed for so long. My next step is to visit the U.S. Embassy in London for a visa appointment. It usually takes two weeks to get a booking, but when I called in November 2020 the earliest appointment was August 2021. The late summer is fast approaching but there is no word yet as to when the borders will reopen. I had been planning to film and act in a short romantic comedy movie in Los Angeles where my industry network is strong and has been developed over a decade, but am now faced with building a UK team from scratch. I want to shout “I’m an Englishman get me out of here,” but Homeland Security merely smiles from afar as if to say “no way, but have a nice day.”

I knew I was taking a sabbatical from America but never foresaw that the gateway back would be closed for so long.

If you haven’t already seen Lin-Manuel Miranda’s cinematic masterpiece “In the Heights,” it is time to buy a ticket. I recently took my first cinema trip since seeing “Cats” in the movie theater, after which I felt some pain for a couple of friends who worked on the feline film that was somewhat unfairly the butt of so many jokes. “In the Heights” focuses on a shopkeeper who wants to leave New York for his parents’ homeland of the Dominican Republic, but (spoiler alert) in the end he appreciates his friends and community in Washington Heights so he stays put.

His bodega is redecorated with a mural of the Dominican Republic beach near the family home, a beach bar is set up in front of it, his dream town is brought to his current town and he finds contentment without travelling anywhere. Miranda echoes a similar theme in his lyrics for “Moana” when the ambitious heroine leaves her island but finally ends up back at home, fulfilling the islanders’ song lyrics early in the film: “There comes a day, When you’re gonna look around / And realize happiness is / Where you are.” Still, she wasn’t coming home to England where frustration with the weather and Euro-politics is less Moana and more moaner.

London theatres are gradually reopening. While buying tickets to see a play at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, I remembered that England does have something of a showbiz history, albeit only 450 years old. I also looked around online and realized there is a healthy network of independent filmmakers who are looking to collaborate. Meanwhile I love being able to see my parents on a regular basis without having to fly 5,500 miles every time I want to swing by for dinner. Now I have a new dilemma and a massive fear. If things continue in this direction then I may find joy where I am, get mired in the quicksand of happy contentment and never want to leave. Holy cow!

Marcus J Freed is an Actor, Filmmaker & Business Consultant www.marcusjfreed.com.