Virtual Shabbat 

Thanks to the virus, all our friends and synagogues

are taking to the internet to beam Shabbat to us in the

privacy of our own homes where, hopefully

the toilet paper is plentiful. Bidet HasShem!

There are so many choices and here you are

reading this.

I’m reminded of the joke about the man alone on the deserted island

who builds two synagogues. When he’s finally rescued, they ask him,

“Why did you build two?” And he replies, “This is the one I attend

and this is the one I wouldn’t set foot in.”

We Jews have needs. We can’t have our yin without our yang.

If two of us are in a room and there are only two opinions, then

something is not right.

So choose your virtual service wisely.

Consider the benefits — When the rabbi says, “Please rise,”

you don’t even have to. They’ll never know!

Sing as loudly as you want! No one but the cat

will judge you. Don’t have a cat? Talk to me —

I’ve got extras.

You should still turn off your cellphones.

Unless you’re reading this on your cellphone,

in which case you should ask Moses what to do.

Seriously, go to askmoses.com — they’re waiting for you.

When the prayer for healing comes along, remember

it’s also for you. We always forget it’s for us.

We’re getting to the point where there are too many names

to remember to speak out loud.

For the basketball players who have nothing to do.

For the teachers who are rewriting their life’s work for virtual classrooms

For the doctors and nurses who are spreading thin.

For the hospitals that are running out of rooms

For the people across the oceans who are told they can’t cross the oceans.

For the empty shelves.

As a summer camp Jew, I almost don’t know how to pray

without wrapping my arms around the person next to me.

Fist bumps and elbows aren’t quite the same thing.

Here’s to the world yet to come when we can

feel each other’s warmth — hold each other again.

How do a people who yearn to pray with their feet

pray when they’re asked to keep their feet at home?

Like this.

Like this.

Rick Lupert, a poet, songleader and graphic designer, is the author of 23 books including “God Wrestler: A Poem for Every Torah Portion.”