By Rabbi Mark Borovitz
I am worried! I am worried about what is happening in Israel. I am worried about what is happening in America. I am worried about what is happening in my work and in my life. I am worried about today and I am worried about tomorrow.
My truth is that I am not alone, yet I feel alone often. I worry that I am not taken seriously. I worry that my message is getting lost in the way I deliver it. I worry that people are not having a partner experience in the movement called Beit T’Shuvah, and I worry that my personality is overshadowing my principles. I worry that I am not living well. I worry that you are not living well. I worry.
My next reflection is: What am I going to do about my worry? I can’t stay in a place of worry and fear. I have to be in action. Many people are turned off by my action. I get counseled about being more “mindful,” which is a code word for meditative. Yet, I am mindful, I believe. I am meditative, I believe. Just not in the ways that most people see mindful and meditative. I am not a Buddhist. I am not a person who sits and meditates; I am not a quiet person. However, this doesn’t mean that I am not meditative and mindful.
I worry about the above issues because I am mindful of others and myself. I respond to the above issues by meditating through study and prayer. I worry that this is not understood as a legitimate way of “being Spiritual.”
I realize that my way is not “the norm” today and I believe it is rooted deeply in Jewish Tradition. Our Sages tell us that, “ The Study of Torah leads to all of the Mitzvot.” The reason being, at Mount Sinai, our response to the Asseret Dibrot, the 10 sayings, was Na-Aseh V’Nishmah— We will do and then we will understand. I have to take an action to truly understand the teachings and the ways in which I “fail forward.”
In today’s world, we keep judging others by the way they do things, rather than what they do. Jewish Tradition teaches that each one of us is a unique soul that has our own individual way of doing life. I am committed to seeing the actions of others rather than the way they do life. I am committed to DOING LIFE well through my actions, my being-ness. I am committed to Redemption because only through T’Shuvah, personal inventory, can I see what I do well and what I need to improve upon and repair.
I invite your comments and suggestions, as always. I invite you to join me in this path of Redemption so that we can change my/your/our worries into solutions for the Sake of Heaven.
